They only had her, and someday she wouldn't be around to solve all their problems. They needed to rely on themselves and learn how to seek out their happiness on their own.
Some might call her reckless, uprooting her family and taking them somewhere new when the boys were in high school. She preferred to think of herself as an adventurer.
Life was short, and she wanted her sons to know that each day was important.
"Geez, Mom, are you trying to break my throwing arm?" said Zach.
She instantly let go of him. "Sorry."
Zach slouched in the seat. His hair fell over his eyes. "How much longer are we going to be stuck in the car?"
"Until we find Grandpa Gene's house." She peered ahead of her. "One of these roads will look familiar, and all we have to do is drive up a little hill, turn right, and you'll see his house."
"How old were you when Grandpa Gene died?" asked Kenny.
"I had just started high school. Fourteen, I think." She glanced in the rear-view mirror and caught the sadness come over her youngest son.
He was more sensitive than Zach, taking on other's sadness and thinking about them longer than most people. Kenny worried about the future.
It wasn't his job to worry. She had things under control.
Ever since the boys had lost their father in a vehicle accident when they were too young to remember him, she'd created a world where anything goes, and that was okay. Zach was only two, and Kenny had just celebrated his first birthday when Ben died.
It was up to her to give them a safe place where they were loved. She'd done everything she could to show them that she could love them enough for two people.
In some ways, she was glad they were too young to remember their dad.
For how much she loved Ben, she was only eighteen years old when she became a widow. Their marriage was not something that brought a smile to her face but one of sadness. They were both too young, too hopeful, and neither one of them had enough maturity to deal with two young kids, barely able to put a roof over their heads.
But she'd loved Ben for what he'd given her, and that was the freedom to be herself and support the boys.
At one time, when it seemed like she had nothing after finding herself pregnant, Ben supported her. In his own way, he'd done the best he could as an eighteen-year-old boy.
She sighed. She and Ben weren't much older than their boys were now when their irresponsibility and hormones caught up with them.
"Mom!"
She jolted and slammed on the brakes. "What?"
"Kenny spotted a bridge down that road back there, but you weren't listening." Zach rolled down his window and stuck his head out of the vehicle. "Back up. I'll tell you when to stop."
She looked behind her. First at Kenny, giving him an apologetic smile. Then, out the rear of the vehicle as she slipped the gear into Reverse.
There would be a time when she could decompress and fall apart without the boys around. But that wasn't today or tomorrow or probably next month. She needed to get the kids settled and give them some kind of normalcy in their life first.
"Right there. See it? By that log." Kenny unbuckled his seatbelt and pointed. "Watch it. Your tire is going to go off the road."
"I'm not even close to the edge. It's your perception. I know how to drive." She softly put on the brake and peered out the passenger window up the road. "You're right. I think that's the driveway."
"You haven't even been here in thirty years," muttered Zach.
She scoffed. "I'm only thirty-two."
"Whatever."
She let out her breath slowly, put the car in Drive, and pulled onto the dirt road. Not even Zach's negativity would matter if she could find the house and prove to the boys that moving here was a good thing.
A branch scraped alongside the driver's side of the car. She corrected her steering, staying in the middle of the road.
The front tire dipped into a rut. Bonnie took her foot off the accelerator and stopped, staring at the roadway ahead of her. There weren't two tire tracks, only one.
Knowing many outdoor lovers visited Avery Falls in the summer, going off-road riding, she hoped they hadn't torn up Grandpa's yard or vandalized the house. She expected some repairs, but now she hoped it was livable.
Even as a child, the place seemed older with an uneven front porch and lack of modern conveniences—like a cordless phone, stove and oven combo, and air conditioning.
All of that was unimportant to her then and now. It was simple enough to order a cheap microwave off Amazon and be able to feed the boys.
Besides, for now, everything in the house was probably filthy from non-use. It would take her all day to find a bucket and fill it with soap and water to clean the place.
"Are we going or what?" asked Zach.
"Yes..." She inched forward. "This would be easier if you checked your 'tude, dude."
She drove out of the rut and continued onward, unable to let herself put any doubts in her head.
She was doing the right thing. The only option she had.
She remembered the curve in the road from her childhood because Grandpa Gene allowed her to play anywhere on the property.
"Oh, my God. This is it," she whispered. "Look, there's the turn. See...see that pine tree with the scars on the trunk. A bear did that."
"Right," murmured Zach.
But she noticed Zach sat a little straighter in the seat. Her oldest son would never admit the trip was enjoyable. They'd rarely gone on vacation anywhere, so it was natural for both her sons to be interested in a new part of the state they'd never visited before.
She turned, looking out the side window. "And there's the creek. Remember me telling you how I'd catch crawdads with pieces of raw bacon and a string?"
"I thought you were
