But that didn’t mean Aaron didn’t have other time for Zack. When they crossed paths at the rink Aaron would catch his eye and give him the most mischievous, knowing smile. It made Zack wildly happy, both to have Aaron in his life, and to have the shared, related passion of the ice.
Of course, the passion was not only on the ice. Whenever he had a free evening Aaron would invite himself over to Zack’s place. Which meant Zack needed to stop half-assing things. Because Aaron loved being tied up, and Zack was starting to feel guilty about—and frustrated by—the level and limits of improvisation involved.
So eventually, he took himself off to the local big box home improvement store to grab some cotton rope in various lengths and thicknesses. He’d have to run them through the wash more than a few times to get them soft enough to comfortably use on Aaron, but other than coming up with a story for Marie about why he was doing so much laundry, that wouldn’t be a problem. And now, someday, Aaron could stop looking wistfully at Zack’s photos, and know what those images felt like and whether he liked it. Just not yet; Aaron was too busy and Zack didn’t want to distract him any more than he already was.
Right now, Zack’s favorite nights were when he would hang around the rink after hockey practice to watch Aaron work before they went home together. On those nights they were often the only two at the rink, the rest of TCI quiet around them while Aaron’s music played.
It didn’t take Zack long to become familiar with his programs. And while Aaron’s short was improving steadily, even Zack could tell something wasn’t quite right with his free skate. He’d watched enough old competition videos of enough skaters at this point to know when something was great versus merely competent. While he didn’t know enough about skating yet to be able to tell what was missing, it was clear enough to him that something was. Aaron’s frustration with it was clearly growing, too, especially as the high-performance skating camp that kicked off each season drew closer and closer.
On one such night, bundled in the hockey box with his laptop perched on his lap so he could ostensibly write while Aaron skated, Zack watched him work through a sequence he didn’t recognize. For once the sound system was silent; the only noises were those of Aaron’s blades slicing through the ice.
“What’re you working on?” Zack asked the next time Aaron stopped at the boards for water.
Aaron shrugged. “Just messing around.” His cheeks were flushed and his curls were wildly tousled, a look that made Zack want to suggest going back to his place early, if he thought for a moment Aaron would leave before his work was done for the day.
“Something new?”
“Maybe.”
Which was all Aaron would say about it until that night when they were in bed.
Zack was tempted to see if he was interested in trying out the newly acquired ropes and leaving him breathless until he answered Zack’s questions about whatever he’d been working on at the rink, but that hardly seemed fair or kind. Besides, Aaron was a delight, kink or no kink, and he was so eager to get Zack horizontal, Zack couldn’t mind letting him take the lead. Vanilla enthusiasm could be its own kind of amazing, he thought as he came with Aaron’s tongue in his mouth and their dicks side by side in his fist.
“You,” he said after he caught his breath, “are too much fun.”
“I am not,” Aaron corrected, sitting up and running his hands through his hair. “I am precisely the right amount of fun. Now do you want to know what I was working on at the rink or what?”
“Obviously.”
“The long program Katie and Brendan have for me isn’t working. I mean, it’s fine. It’s a good program, and I can do it, and the judges will like it. But, it’s not me. And you’ve made me realize one of the things it lacks.” Aaron said.
“What’s that?” Zack couldn’t imagine what that could be.
“Stillness,” Aaron said.
The word hit Zack in waves. Because what Aaron meant, he was almost sure, was those moments where Zack made him be quiet and still, eyes closed and dutiful, in service to his pleasure.
“I don’t know how that’s going to translate to the ice,” he said.
“Neither do it. But I need music with more space in it for those moments, for the breath between elements, and I just hope Brendan lets me have it.”
“I can’t imagine how anyone could refuse you anything.” Zack said. He meant every word of it.
Chapter 15
A WEEK BEFORE HIGH-Performance Camp
Twin Cities Ice
AFTER HIS CONVERSATION with Zack, Aaron knew he didn’t have any time to lose.
He had a meeting with both Katie and Brendan the next morning to review his training plan for the rest of the month and discuss travel logistics for camp and the upcoming Grand Prix series. They didn’t often coach him on the ice at the same time, so his opportunities to talk to the two of them together were usually limited.
They met in the cramped little coach’s office at the rink. Katie had evidently come from the farm; she hadn’t yet changed into skating clothes and still had on mud-spattered boots. Aaron fidgeted, nervous, while Brendan gave him his ice times for the upcoming month and Katie queried him about which elements he felt he needed to focus on most.
“Anything else we need to cover?” Brendan asked as he clicked through a spreadsheet on his computer.
“Actually, yes. There was one thing,” Aaron spoke up before he could lose his
