“Sure, Allyson is hot, but man, Easton is going to kill you if he finds out. I do think it’s best that he hears it from you. What if Allyson caves and tells him, or worse, he finds out from someone else. You said the owner of the bed and breakfast saw you guys in the morning, and she’s friends with his wife.” Luke’s eyebrows remain raised as he shakes his head.
“I know, I know. I’m just not sure what he’s going to say or how he’ll react. He’s like a brother, and the idea of losing him because of this has me in knots.”
“If I may…” Luke nods once and purses his lips. “From what you’ve told me, this is more than guilt for sleeping with Allyson. You’re hung up on her.”
I shake my head. “Nah, it was one night.”
Luke scoffs, a deep sound coming from the back of his throat. “Yeah, and I’m engaged to Jennifer Aniston. Your denial is as unbelievable as me marrying her. Dude, maybe you should be honest with why you’re all tied up and go from there. If you’ve got feelings for her, then maybe you can work it out.”
“No, she lives in Spain. That’s a whole ocean apart. Not to mention, she isn’t the kind of girl that would go for me—”
“And let me guess, you’re not the kind of guy to settle down in an actual relationship. I’ve heard you spew that shit more than once. To be frank, it’s getting kinda old now that we’re in our thirties. If you want the girl, go for the fucking girl.” He slaps my back in what is supposed to be encouragement, but I cough up the whiskey I was swallowing. Whether it’s because of his slap or the truth in his words is what I’m unsure of. I’m guessing it’s a combination of both. I have nothing against settling down. I just haven’t found someone who makes me want to take that step. Could Allyson be it?
“If you do,” Luke continues, sharing his words of wisdom. “Talk to Easton first. Let him know what’s going on.”
“Maybe I should talk to Ally first before I make a big deal out of it and get a big, fat rejection.” Usually, I’m the one turning women down, not the other way around.
“Say what you want, brother, but you’ve got it bad.” His emphasis only fuels me more, wanting to prove him wrong. I spin around in my barstool, looking at the people lingering around.
“If you really don’t care, pick a woman and take her home,” Luke taunts.
“You’re a fucker,” I grunt, which causes him to laugh. None of these women appeal to me, and it’s all because of that green-eyed beauty I shouldn’t want.
Paying for our drinks, I leave the bar and grab my phone once I’m seated in my car. Opening Instagram, I look at Allyson’s pictures before sending her a message.
I inhale deeply, slowly releasing my breath. Here goes nothing. I have no fucking clue what I’m doing, but I’m hoping this is one of those learn as you go moments, because I could use the trial and error.
@CamIAm: Hey
Okay, I was hoping for something better than that. Smoother even. I haven’t spoken to her in four weeks, and all I have to say is, Hey? Also, when the hell did I create my Instagram handle to be @CamIAm? Was I going for some Dr. Seuss twist of Green Eggs and Ham? Shows how much I actually use the app.
Going into my settings, the first thing I do before sending her a follow-up message is to change my name to something more mature and professional than a fifteen-year-old’s idea of cool. Ready to write her another message, I give myself a pep-talk and type.
@CamSteeleIT: How are you?
Now, I wait for her response. I’m not sure what the time difference is, but she very well could be sleeping. All I know for certain is there’s a reason why I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind. No woman has lingered for longer than a few days after having sex with her. Maybe it’s because I know Allyson as more than a woman I slept with, or it could be the guilt I feel for keeping this from Easton. I ignore the nagging feeling that the real reason is something deeper and drive home, ready to head to bed and wake up with a clearer mind.
- - - - -
@AllyinSpain: Hi…good and you?
I stare at her message, nothing spectacular, but she responded. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I type back.
@CamSteeleIT: I’m good…great actually. Work’s got me busy. I saw Easton and Faith were visiting you. That’s great. I bet you had fun with them
Her response is almost immediate.
@AllyinSpain: It was a nice surprise and fun to show them around.
@CamSteeleIT: Happy to hear that. Just wanted to see how you were doing
@AllyinSpain: I’m good, you don’t have to feel obligated to check in. Really, I’m good
@CamSteeleIT: I don’t feel obligated, I really wanted to see how you were doin
@AllyinSpain: Oh ok… Thanks then
@CamSteeleIT: Anytime
@AllyinSpain: I shoud get back to work… Don’t want someone walking in and accuse me of spending time on social
@AllyinSpain: oops… I meant should
@CamSteeleIT: I got you… Have a good day or rest of the day. Bye
@AllyinSpain: Bye
I stare at our conversation, as platonic as could be but also awkward as fuck if you really dig deep, knowing our history.
Getting up and ready for work, which really means make coffee and turn on my laptop, I check my emails to make sure there aren’t any updates from my current clients and get to work. All the while, my conversation with Luke from last night ringing loud and clear.
If I do feel something more for Ally, then I should figure out what that is
