Oh god, I hate I can’t control my blush. Or the way I’m both shocked and turned on by what she’s saying. I should be grossed out and disgusted. The idea of touching Tony Sabatini, of allowing him to touch me, should be an automatic no. Except...it’s not.
Even though I hate him, there’s no denying Tony Sabatini is an extremely gorgeous man. I know every inch of his face. I’ve studied every picture I managed to find of him for hours, there are all of six of them. Tony Sabatini shunned the camera even before the trial. Almost all the pictures were from the trial and his son’s funeral.
At first, it made me angry Tony Sabatini was beautiful. It wasn’t fair a man was beautiful period. His beauty hid the ugliness below the surface of what he really was. There should be a warning, something to hint at his true nature. All of two things hinted at his capacity for violence, his height and his powerful build.
“Christy? Are you okay?” Lisa studies me with knowing eyes I fear see too much.
I blush again. “Yeah, I just, um. I don’t think I could...he’d know I wouldn’t be able to make a living being a—you know. I mean, who is going to pay for this? There is no way he’s going to want me as a mistress.” I sigh as I plop down at the end of the couch and wave my hand at my body.
“If it hadn’t been for the in vitro, there wouldn’t have been two pregnancies. Eddie informed me often I was the worst fuck he’d ever had. No way would I ever convince anyone I thought I could have sex for a living. If by some insane chance he does, the first time, we—whatever—he’d know I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve only ever been with Eddie. And Eddie was ninety-eight percent missionary with two percent doggy style. My one thing is I got good at giving a blow job to avoid fucking him, but that’s it.”
Lisa blinks, shakes her head, and blinks again. “What in the fuck? There are so many things wrong with what you said I can’t even...I’m so glad he left you. I think it would have been better if you left him but whatever, thank fuck he’s gone. You are a beautiful woman. So what you aren’t a size four—"
I laugh, “Please try like an eighteen. I’m fat in anyone’s book. The only saving grace I have is I have great tits. And at five foot nine, the weight is a little more evenly distributed. Why would he want this when he could have you?”
“Oh my god, shut up. You do have great tits. And FYI, Tony is a tit man and he hates fake ones. Tony loves all women, one of the women he’s been with I swear was your size or right around there. He doesn’t have a type except he doesn’t like and would never fuck me because of all the work I’ve had done. He prefers natural women, no injections, no fake tits. Tony doesn’t even like fake tanning. The man has been with black women and Asian, I think he would really like that you’re Latina. I know he loves long dark hair. And you are a beautiful woman. I have no doubt with even the smallest enticement, Tony would want you.”
I shake my head, and she smacks me hard on my arm.
“Just because Eddie was an asshole doesn’t mean you aren’t fuckable. I can’t believe you’ve only been with one guy. You and Eddie didn’t hook up until you were, what? Twenty-two, but he left you more than a year and a half ago. Why haven’t you gotten out there?”
I shrug, not able to admit how destroyed I was at the end of the divorce.
“I know what I’m talking about, and I’m not saying it to be nice. You’re totally girl next door pretty at first glance. I love your heart-shaped face with the small cute nose and your lips are sexy as fuck. Women pay to have lips as wide, soft, and thick as you do. With your hazel eyes that are more green than brown, you go from pretty to beautiful.”
Lisa crosses her arms as her eyes run over me, her voice is stern. “You are curvy in all the right places. I’m jealous you have clear golden skin that doesn’t need to tan. Add in long, silky black hair and bitch you aren’t just beautiful, you’re sexy. If I didn’t think Tony or anyone would pay good money to fuck you, we wouldn’t be talking about this. I would have come up with something else.”
Despite her vehement argument, I find myself shrinking at the idea of anyone thinking I’m sexy. It’s not a word I’ve ever thought of about myself. “I guess my dad being Mexican is finally good for something. Actually, if it hadn’t been for the half-Mexican thing, I wouldn’t have gotten so much of my school paid for. And that’s why Eddie was my first and only. I was so focused on school and working at the same time to pay for it so I didn’t have to take a ton of loans out. The nursing program was demanding. I wasn’t going to screw up by getting involved with a guy. I had a vibrator, okay, I had two and they were enough for me. Since Eddie left...”
Her eyes are so soft, it makes it easier to tell her. “I haven’t even wanted to. We didn’t have sex for almost two years toward the end. With Eddie, it never felt good. I always counted down in my head until it was over. Which is why I don’t think your idea will work. If
