“You felt it, and you knew, fucking knew with every damn cell in your body that you belonged with me and you never came back. You let me burn for you, let me lay there sleepless with your ghost in my bed.” He shakes his head and lets me go so suddenly I stumble, my legs unable to hold me up. I land on my ass with a painful thump.
Damn it. The repair wasn’t as good as I thought, the dress pops open. Tony’s eyes run over me and before I blink, he’s over me. A rough hand opens the front clasp of my bra and I’m naked. A growl comes out of him as his mouth covers my breast. His mouth brings a chaotic rush of pleasure and pain.
“No, Tony, please. Not like this,” I beg him. I don’t want our first time after all these years to be like this, angry and bitter.
“Not like this? How else do you think it could be? What else do you think you deserve?” He enters me in one stroke, slamming deep inside me. God, it hurts. It's been so long. So very long and he’s so big. The pain is immense. Yet we both moan lost in the pleasure—the ache at long last soothed.
Tony is wild in a way he's never been before, and it scares me. “Please, please,” I whisper. I don’t even know what I’m asking for.
He says nothing as his mouth takes mine, demanding everything. I give up to him. I can't deny him. Too soon, the orgasm explodes inside me, tearing me apart piece by tiny piece. It’s back all over again, the need to melt into him, to crawl into his skin and never leave.
The hot rush of him coming, filling me full of him shocks me even as it carries me back under the tide of pleasure all over again. Tony pulls out of me while I’m still trembling, leaving me gasping at the loss of him. All I can do is watch as he does up his pants, and I realize he hadn't even unbuttoned his shirt.
Staring down at me, he shakes his head. “Damn you.” The words are bitter. I close my eyes. When I open them, he’s gone.
***
Tony
Staring down at Christy, the bitterness is still there, filling me until I can barely breathe through it. I walk away while I still can. Before I fuck up beyond what I already have.
I go to my car. But as I slam into it, all I can do is sit there. I’m too afraid to drive away from her, to leave her again. I know she's not going anywhere. Even though this time I deserve her leaving.
What had I done? It didn't matter she came in the end. I've never forced a woman before, ever. Not like that. Shame threatens to consume me. For five long years, I dreamed of her every night and the moment I touch her again, I hurt her. Dominic warned me, and I still fucked up.
A text comes through. It’s Luca wondering if I’m okay. Fuck, in all of this I hadn’t called him tonight like I usually did. I call him. “I’m sorry, I forgot to call you. Today has been... busy.”
“Business or personal?”
“You have a sister; her name is Sophia Rose. She goes by Rosie.”
Luca laughs. “And that’s why I always wear a rubber. No way am I going to wake up one day and find out I have a kid I didn’t know about. Damn, Pop. Do you think you got any more running around out there?”
“I have no idea. Rosie was planned though and wanted. Never doubt even though you weren’t planned, you were always wanted.” I never want him to think I’m not grateful he’s here.
“You found her, the one who ran away. You’re full of regret right now. How badly did you fuck up?”
“So bad I don’t know if I can come back from it,” I admit.
His sigh is loud in my ear. “I don’t buy that. She walked away and was the one to fuck up big. You wanted to hurt her. Did you want to hurt her or to make it you fucked up worse so you don’t deserve her the way you’ve been feeling you didn’t?”
Had I really done that? “Fuck me, I don’t know anymore.”
“Maybe you should figure that out. Go talk to her. Use your words, Pop.” He ends the call.
I go back inside. There is no sign of Christy downstairs. I find her in Rosie’s room, sleeping with Rosie on the small, twin bed. For two long minutes, I stare down at them. My woman and my baby girl, so alike. The love I feel for each of them is almost beyond bearing, yet it’s two very different kinds of love.
Today Rosie clung to me like a vine, her sweet mouth running nonstop. I only had to gently ask one question for the answer, along with a dozen other things she was sure were just as important were also told to me.
Vito dropped Dominic off on our way home from the airport. I think Vito’s eyes popped out of his head at the sight of me carrying Rosie off the plane. He did a double-take for sure when Rosie waved at him and called him by his name. She knew he was my best friend because her mommy had told her. That means he was her best friend too. Which was nice because she didn’t have any best friends.
My daughter grew up a lonely child. I clench my hands in memory. If she had grown up with me, she would have had Matteo as a playmate. Alicia and Cesare’s son was born within weeks of her. I work to force back the anger. Quel che e fatto, e fatto. What’s done is done. If I don’t let go of this anger, I’m going to destroy the both of us with it.
I pick up Christy and carry
