Arriving at the door, we took our time to gather fresh air as we handled her through the entrance. Looking around, I saw it wasn't just me who was doing everything to avoid catching Chloe's sunken eyes.
Soon we were out in the chill night, with no idea what the time was but were surprised again at how bright the half-moon lit up the night.
The mood sat heavy as I rushed into the car, revving the engine as I tried to disconnect the Freelander from the building.
With Andrew, Toby and Matt back in the burning building pushing the bonnet as hard as they could, the engine roared in their faces. Metal continued to grip and when the wheels eventually moved, the car stayed still and filled the air with a thick rubber burn.
The heat raged out to where we stood around the car. Every gaze scoured the horizon, no matter what they believed had happened earlier in the evening. We saw no movement. Nothing but the casual sway of distant trees. We were in the middle of nowhere.
“Let's follow the road,” I said in a whisper, picking up the front right corner of the blanket.
The others followed in silence at a cautious pace. Heads turned left and right, darting at every sound.
At the entrance to the car park I twisted, looking back at the building and watched as the fire consumed it to the frame. The pyre plumed with black smoke rising into the night, joining the countless others.
Soon we relaxed into the rhythm of the procession, Chloe's insubstantial weight hardly a burden. Still no one spoke, taking comfort in the spectacular field of vision. We could see for miles.
No one said anything, not even giving voice to the terrible odour we were carrying between us.
“Stop,” came Lily's voice and everyone started at the break in the silence, halting in unison and lowering the blankets to the floor as we turned.
Lily fell to her knees at Chloe's side. She pulled open the covers to take her wrist, pressing her two fingers against her skin.
We watched on, our spray of white breath slowing, shrugging coats tighter around our shoulders or raising packs higher. Each of us did anything but wait motionless for the verdict.
Lily looked up in my direction, a tear rolling down her cheek. Why did she choose me to receive her deep heartache?
I raised my eyebrows to prompt the next obvious question. She turned down at Chloe's face and knelt in, putting her ear to her mouth.
“No,” I shouted, my voice cutting through the night as I swooped down to push her to the side.
17
Lily rocked back with my swipe, falling towards the tarmac until caught, wide-eyed, by Toby standing behind.
To the raised voices questioning what they saw with varying ferocity, his hands grabbed under her armpits and helped her to her feet.
Blocking out the cries from the onlookers, I turned, ignoring Toby's glare and his unsure stare, ready to show his teeth as I saw him only just holding back the instinct to raise his fists.
Determined not to be distracted, my vision filled with the pale glow of Chloe's face, despite the darkness. My concentration fixed on every movement I couldn't see, with my fingers curled around the gun in my pocket, my gaze searching for any change.
The scrutiny was cut short with a sharp jab to my shoulder and I turned to see Naomi with her fist still raised, ready for me to open my mouth and say the wrong thing.
“Fucking prick,” she said, her words just as sharp as the knuckles on her hand.
Turning away, I swallowed down my growing anger as I looked over the assembled.
Zoe at Naomi's back, her eyes filled with terror and on the verge of tears, her hands reaching toward me; Cassidy backing off, looking down her nose with Ellie buried in her side.
Andrew was with me with a nod in my direction. He was the only one who'd shared my witness.
I didn't catch Matt's expression from my side of the blanket because my gaze had already fallen, my eyes wide again and watched as Lily, back on her knees, lowered her head to Chloe's face.
Toby stood to block any second attempt.
I turned away, stepping from the blanket and from the darkness of the pack. With three paces taken I heard the intake of breath and turned, a commotion lighting the centre of the group.
The first I saw was Cassidy dragging Ellie backwards, running, falling into a hedge.
Next, I saw Andrew stood still, transfixed on what I hadn't yet got to. Despite my desperation to see what I'd feared, my vision filled with Naomi and Zoe clutched tight together.
Zoe's face pointed to the ground, a wide scream shrieking from her mouth. Naomi stared back, her eyes wide, her mouth wider, her skin more pale than I ever imagined.
It was at that point I knew she’d conceded, knew she understood what I’d been saying all along.
I turned to the centre. Time didn't slow, but still I took in all the detail.
Chloe rose with her mouth attached somehow to the side of Lily's face.
Toby was in there too, his hands between them, pulling. He was grappling to pull the pair free.
Matt shouted, cursing, his words filling the air blue, unable to do anything to his partner who'd clamped her mouth deep on to our friend’s face.
Blinking for the first time, I was powerless to aid. I was a spectator, like Andrew, with a fixed stare looking on, unable to do anything. We couldn't attack our friend. I didn’t have it in me to repeat the violence I’d raged on Chloe’s attacker, couldn't repeat the same on Chloe with the sliver of doubt Naomi had planted.
We weren't doctors, we'd already been told. Maybe Chloe
