‘Oh God, please tell me you didn’t. Not with Ned.’ Her eyes widened with genuine fear and she lowered her head into her free hand. She looked sickened. ‘Nelly. No.’
‘Ew, Mum, no,’ I said. Why was sex with Ned always the first place people’s minds went to? ‘It’s nothing to do with Ned at all. I kind of went on a date with a man I met over the phone at work.’
She almost choked on her second sip of wine. ‘You did what, Nelly?’
My mother was the only person on the planet that I allowed to call me Nelly and that was simply because she’d gone through the agony of birthing me. I’d escaped from school pretty unscathed in terms of bullies, but I think I’d been referred to as Nelly the Elephant about twenty thousand times between the ages of five and sixteen.
‘It’s a long story that didn’t end up going anywhere, so I’ll just fill you in when you get here. When will that be, exactly?’
‘You’ll know as soon as I do.’ Her eyes filled with pity. ‘Did you like this man, the one you went out with?’
I scrunched up my face and my voice turned to a whine. ‘I did.’
‘Well, I’m sorry it didn’t turn out how you wanted it to, but, Nelly, it’s so nice to know you’re back out there.’
‘God! Is everyone just waiting with bated breath for me to start dating again?’ Everyone was acting as if I’d just renounced my vow of chastity. I mean, she didn’t know about me and Joel restarting the physical side of things, but even so, it hadn’t been that long since I’d gone on that Tinder date with that overly handsy radiographer who kept tutting every time I neglected my coaster. But then again, maybe it was for the best that no one remembered that particular lapse in judgement.
‘Nelly, it’s been two years. You’ll be thirty soon and I just don’t want you ending up alone.’
‘You don’t mind being alone, neither do I,’ I argued.
‘I do mind, very much so. It’s just that my job and all the travelling don’t allow for that kind of thing.’ She sipped her wine again and gracefully tucked her hair behind her ear. ‘Anyway, I’ll let you know when I’ll be heading back to you.’ She tutted. ‘And, Nelly, don’t be sad about him. He’s an idiot if he didn’t fall head over heels for you, but maybe this was just the start of you stepping out again.’
‘Stepping out? Which era is that term from, exactly?’ I asked as I turned up the pizza aisle and, as expected, found Ned looking at two pizzas as if his life depended on the choice he had to make. I walked over and stood beside him. ‘Maybe you’re right. I could get back on Tinder and see what prime specimens are out there?’
‘Don’t do that,’ Ned said without looking up. ‘You’ll end up with another gropey X-ray technician.’ Shit, I guess not everyone had forgotten. ‘You’d be much better off going on Bumble.’
‘That’s right, listen to Ned,’ Mum said through the phone and he looked up at the mention of his name.
‘Oh, hi, Cassie.’ Ned stepped into the frame of the camera, waving at her enthusiastically.
She lifted a hand and returned the greeting. ‘Oh, nice dress.’
I sent him a warning glare. ‘Look.’ I turned my attention back to her. ‘I’ll try and be successfully ensconced with someone by the time you arrive, but don’t hold your breath.’ I was getting exasperated with the conversation.
‘Ooo, she’s coming to stay?’ he asked me, then turned to the phone screen again. ‘You’re coming to stay?’
‘Yes, I’ll see you soon,’ she answered. ‘If that’s all right.’
‘More than all right,’ he said enthusiastically.
I held the phone to my chest and covered the microphone. ‘Okay, down boy,’ I chided. ‘Remember that she’s my mother.’
He grinned cheekily, looking back to his pizza conundrum, while I turned my attention back to the call. ‘Right, Mum, I need to go before Ned blows a gasket over trying to pick a pizza. Enjoy your evening and tell Piero I said hi.’ I threw that last bit in to annoy Ned.
‘Will do. Bye, sweetie.’ She blew a kiss and hung up.
‘Erg, Piero,’ Ned said, tossing the four-cheese pizza back on the shelf and placing the ham and mushroom one into the basket.
That evening, as we watched the film that we’d known would be bad, but surpassed even our low expectations, I thought about the strangeness that had occurred over the last two days. Yes, I was disappointed about my rom-com moment not playing out like I’d hoped it would, but I was more annoyed about the fact that he’d just left, without explanation. Was Ned right about him being married? Or was the moment I moved closer to him the same moment that he realised that I wasn’t worth his time?
I picked up my phone and began typing out a message to him:
Hey, how are you?
But after a few moments, I deleted it.
I shook my head, and slouched a little further into the sofa as I tried to get back into the film. I felt a weight drop onto my shoulder and I turned to see Ned’s steady hand there. He patted me, reassuringly, before his hand returned to his beer.
‘Cheer up, kid.’ He pointed to the half-naked, surgically enhanced woman on the screen who was being chased through a dark corridor, her ginormous breasts jiggling in the seedy lighting. ‘I’m pretty sure this idiot’s gonna get skewered any second.’
Chapter Six
‘So, she walks into the fire and you’re thinking that there’s no way she’s coming out of this alive. I was bummed out; I’ll tell you that. But then the fire dies down and there she is, sat in the ashes with these three baby dragons clutching on to her,’ Jackson said, his tone enthusiastic as it travelled through my headset.
‘It sounds really exciting,’ I responded,
