“Is that really what you want?” She nods her head in response.
I want to pull her close and tell her that I want her, but she's right. I'm not ready for a relationship, and I'm certainly not looking to get married again. I have absolutely nothing to offer a girl like her.
Plucking my t-shirt from the floor and tugging it over my head, I walk out the door and without saying another word, I plod down the corridor to my room with the worst blue balls I have ever experienced, slamming the door behind me.
Fuck!
“Is that really what you want?” A hint of sadness flickers in his voice as he waits for a response. I nod my head, worried that if I speak, the wrong words will come out.
My heart, or most likely my hormones, are telling me to take what I can from this Adonis, but my head is telling me to walk away before I end up hurt. As much as I want him, he will never be willing to give me what I need, and I can't let myself be hurt like that again. Guys like him are only interested in one thing, and I'm not the type of girl that can get involved without emotions taking over.
His eyes are fixed on me for a second as my gaze darts around the room, doing everything I can to avoid eye contact with him as he grabs his t-shirt from the floor and leaves, slamming the door loudly behind him.
What have I done?
Slumping down on my bed, going over the list of reasons why we can't be together, I try to remind myself that I made the right decision.
It's not like it was an easy decision to make, I've been thinking non-stop about it since I left his room at just gone one this morning. I even got up and made a full batch of cinnamon rolls to distract me. It probably wasn't the best idea to leave him that note but I've done it ever since I moved in, so I thought it might be a little odd if I didn't.
At least he's training today, so I should be able to avoid him easily for the rest of the day. Hopefully, that will give him enough time to calm down.
The bright sun beams dance across my mirror as I pull a pair of denim shorts out of my chest of drawers and pull them up over my thick thighs, matching them with a loose fitting, pastel pink off the shoulder graphic tee with the slogan 'be your own kind of beautiful'.
Just as I pull the t-shirt over my head, my phone lights up and starts dancing across my bedside table. I glance down at the screen and a groan escapes me when I see the familiar name on the screen.
“Hey mum, what's up?” I ask as I answer the phone. I contemplate not answering but it's the third time she's called in less than an hour and I'm starting to worry that something might be wrong. “Is everything alright?”
“Hello Amelia.” Her voice sounds tired, probably from the long hours she's working, “The hospital fundraiser is this Friday and I just wanted to let you know that I have sent a couple of tickets over to the house for you. They should be with you tomorrow.”
I've attended the fundraiser for the past five years, and before the break-up I was excited to go to the extravagant event that usually includes a seated meal, dancing, and a silent auction to raise money for heart disease. Now, I'm not so sure.
As much as I would love to go, my chest aches at the thought of seeing Peter there with her. He'll be there having fun with his beautiful fiancé, and I'll be alone and miserable. Unless I can somehow find a date in less than a week.
“Amelia, are you still there?” The voice at the end of the line is getting agitated.
“Yes mother, I'm not sure I can make it this year.” She sounds surprised, almost a little angry that I won't be there to support her. “I have other commitments now.” I continue.
“Surely that man can give you one night off. It is for a good cause after all.” She spits venomously, “Put him on, I'll have a word with him for you.”
“Mum, I'm a big girl, I can ask him myself.”
“Good, so I will see you on Friday then. In fact, if you are not bringing a date, I have a lovely House Officer that I'd like to introduce you to.” Absolutely no way am I'm letting mum fix me up again, not after last time.
“I've been dating someone, so I'll check if they're available.” I lie, “If not, I'll convince Lexi to come with me.”
“Please tell me you're not dating that ogre you live with. I've seen all the posts on the internet of him surrounded by half naked women. I don't understand how you feel safe enough to stay in that house with him after all the things he's done.”
“He's not that bad mum.” He is actually pretty amazing once you get to know him. “Besides, he wouldn't hurt the woman looking after his daughter.”
“Okay darling, but I still think he's bad news.”
We say our goodbyes and I scroll through my contacts to dial Lexi's number while walking to the mezzanine floor to wake Maddie up for school.
Realising the time, I decide to text her instead. She'll still be sleeping off last night's hangover and definitely won't be in the mood to do me any favours if I wake her up.
Mia: Hey sis, need to chat. Brunch at the house?
Not expecting her to respond for a while,
