I try to ignore the sounds of the guns popping throughout the building and the way that the floors shake. They shouldn’t be shaking, it’s a concrete foundation, but they are.
“How do you satisfy two men?” I blurt out.
There’s a moment of silence and I think that she’s going to ignore me and refuse to answer my question, but then I hear her giggling from beside me.
“If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry,” she whispers.
“Why?” I ask.
She’s quiet again before she reaches out for my hand and squeezes it. “Because they’re not happy.”
“Maria,” I whisper. “Babe.”
She squeezes my hand again, but finally speaks. “I’m in love with them both, but I don’t give them equal time. I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Mamba is easier. Gator is sweet, but he’s much more closed off. Mamba and I truly click and I know Gator feels it, but Mamba loves us both and it’s killing him that Gator has started distancing himself and feels like a third wheel.”
“But Gator and Mamba love each other too, or is it just you and them?”
“I think that’s part of the problem. It’s Mamba and Gator, it’s me and Mamba, me and Gator, and then it’s all three of us.”
“That’s a lot of sex,” I mutter.
She laughs. “It is. But it doesn’t matter how hard you try, someone feels left out and right now, it’s Gator. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“And it needs fixing?” I ask.
She’s quiet for a few breaths before she whispers. “It needs fixing. I need them both and they definitely need each other. I’ll fix it,” she says, determination clear in her voice.
I’m thankful for the conversation, for the distraction from the complete fucking nightmare that is currently going down outside of Dragon’s office. It’s a heavy conversation, but it keeps my mind off of everything else.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
HAWK
“I warned Dragon. I warned that motherfucker that this shit was going to happen and look. It’s fucking happening and I’m here, not there, and I can’t get a hold of fucking anyone,” I growl.
Gator has his phone to his ear, shaking his head as he paces. “I can’t get Maria. I’m going to try Mamba.”
I watch as he calls Mamba and then relief floods his face. “You’re okay,” he rasps. “What is going on?”
There’s a moment of silence, Gator doesn’t speak, but his gaze slowly cuts over to me and his eyes widen. He licks his lips, then dips his chin to the ground before he brings his gaze back up to meet my own. “What the fuck?” he whispers. “What the fuck are you going to do? Is Maria okay?”
“Fuck,” he hisses. “Call me when you can.”
He ends the call, shoving the phone in his pocket before turning to fully face me. “He’s with Trista in her safe room.”
My breath comes out in a whoosh at the sound of Trista being safe. But a whole new panicked fear slices through me, because he did not mention Avah.
“Avah?”
Gator slowly shakes his head. “Don’t know. He said they came busting through the gate, crashed into the side of the building, then started shooting. He threw Trista over his shoulder and ran her home.”
“Fuck,” I spit.
I do not feel good, nothing feels right about any of this. I think about Jaguar and wonder why he didn’t tell me, if he’s serious about coming back this would be something that he should have fucking warned me about. The only reason I can think is that he is dirty as fuck and played me—played Dragon, played the whole fucking Savage Beast MC.
“Skulls are on their way to back up the Beasts,” Dutch announces as he walks up to our two-person huddle. “Don’t know if they’ll make it in time, but they’re rolling deep with hope to take them all the fuck out.”
Gator doesn’t say anything, I glance over to him and he’s moving his lips. Then I hear his voice as he murmurs to himself. “I love them, I love them and I’m fucking up. I’m a selfish prick. Fuck, I love them.”
I feel his shit, I love Avah and I was thinking about taking off from here and not going back. I’m a selfish fucking prick too.
“What do we do?” Dutch asks. “Because I got an idea.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Get the girl, blow the fuck out of their clubhouse, and bring her back with us to use as we all see fit.”
“Thought we were vigilantes now?” I ask on a snort.
Dutch shakes his head, but it’s Gator that speaks first. “Not her fault, but we don’t make a statement, they think we’re gonna bend over and take their cocks up our asses and even though I might play that way, I don’t for or with them.”
I almost laugh. If I wasn’t so fucking pissed off and scared, I might. “Not her fault, but it’s none of our people’s fault either who are sitting there in a place that’s supposed to be safe.”
“That’s the fucking truth of it,” Gator grunts.
“Know where we can get some bombs?” I ask, turning to Dutch.
His lips curve up into a grin. “Fuck yeah. I’ll make that shit. Won’t be strong enough to kill everyone there, but enough to distract them so we can get in, get the girl and get the fuck out.”
“Any idea what she looks like?” Gator asks.
Shaking my head, I lift my hand and run my fingers through my hair. “No, but I know someone who does, I just don’t know if I can trust him.”
“Fucking Jaguar,” Gator snaps.
“Fucking Jaguar,” I agree with a nod.
Dutch clears his throat and I look over to him just as he dips his chin toward the body on the ground in a growing pool of blood. “What do you want to do with this fuck?”
I
