I called my doctor next.
“I’m going back in after a week,” I said. “I assume that’s fine?”
“Well, normally, I would advise against it, but considering that your job is not physically straining, I think it will be fine.”
And then Dr. Needham brought up something I’d somehow let myself get away from.
“I will see you for the pregnancy test and scans to verify the results.”
At that moment, I got a beep on my phone indicating that I had another call coming in.
“Yes Dr. Needham, thanks.”
When I pulled the phone back, I saw Kelly calling. That was a surprise—if anything, I was worried she was getting tired of talking to me. Maybe something had happened. Regardless, I answered immediately.
“Kelly?”
“Hey, have you heard from Burke recently?”
I swallowed. Her tone was not exactly cheerful. In fact, it almost sounded like she was on the verge of being terribly upset.
“Yeah,” I said, trying not to sound like me hearing from him had been a disaster of unbelievable scale. “Why do you ask?”
At first, Kelly didn’t say anything on the other end of the line. For a moment, I just thought she’d put the phone down so she could take care of the kids. But then I realized something.
Her breathing wasn’t steady. It was…
Sobbing?
“Kelly?”
“Liam told me not to say anything, but I can’t help it,” she said. Oh, God, are they all dicks now? Did he hide— “He said that he’s gone on a mission somewhere in South America. He wouldn’t tell me anymore and warned me not to tell you, but it’s scaring me to death. I thought I could do this but I can’t live like this anymore.”
I grimaced on the other side of the line. That was probably where Burke was, too. It certainly explained the shitty connection. But what the hell were they doing in South America?
“I know, Kelly, I’m sorry. They’re professionals. They’ll—”
“Even by Liam’s standards, though, he seemed off,” Kelly said. “Maybe I’m just reading too much into it, but there was a certain hardness to him when he said he had to go. I’ve never seen him like this. Not even when it came to Sean.”
Oh, Jesus. Now I was the one who felt nervous.
One, for Liam, because while we weren’t that close, he had done a lot to help me and I cared about him. But two, for Burke.
And I was surprised by how much my concern for him was affecting me. All of the anger I’d felt just moments before, even all the joy and cheer I’d felt when I was speaking to Dr. Needham in happier times…none of them carried the strength of emotion that this particular moment did.
“I don’t know. But these guys have come back from a lot of shit, Kelly. I’m sure they’ll be back.”
“I hope so.”
“If nothing else, Liam will come back for you and the kids.”
But will Burke come back for me? For our maybe child?
I bit my lip. I knew the answer, much as I wanted to hope so it wasn’t the case.
“I know,” Kelly said. “I appreciate it, Emily. I guess I just needed someone to rant to and get this off my chest.”
“No, girl, I get it.”
We talked for just a short while longer. My words might have provided the most temporary of respites for Kelly, but I knew she was still confused and hurt when we got off the call. I hoped like hell that Liam came back injury-free so that I didn’t have to worry about the future of that family.
And in hoping against reality, I hoped that Burke also came back and that maybe something was there.
It was the one good thing about hope. You could have it even if it didn’t conform to reality. Sometimes, you especially needed it when it didn’t conform to reality.
Because right now, reality was not good.
Chapter 14: Burke
“Hey, get it together, Burke. This is no time for Ladies Anonymous.”
I growled at Scott’s words. He was fucking right. I needed to stop acting like a little bitch.
“Roger that,” I said, pocketing my phone. “Are we going to go and fucking kill Snake now?”
“As soon as you’re ready,” he said. “So get off the phone and get on your gear.”
I didn’t say a word as I once more grabbed whatever body armor and weaponry I needed. I was usually good about putting concerns like this to bed. Actually, I couldn’t really say that, because I never let shit get this far—it was truly a unique situation.
But if I’d been able to block out thoughts of Emily and kids in the middle of the daring rescue on the highway, I sure as shit could do so for part two of this mission. No, it wasn’t just that I could do it—it was that I needed to fucking do it.
“Snake’s bunker is about a hundred miles north of here,” Scott said, “assuming our intel is accurate. Which, as you both know, is hard to nail down with Snake.”
“Fucker was with the truck, though,” I said. “He’s going to be close.”
I hope.
“Agreed.”
Scott had enough sense not to add the “but be aware” part after that. We all needed a win. Scott and Liam had families to get back to. I had to go to Miami and deal with whatever I had. We were all running on fumes, if not literally, then just in terms of lifestyle. I never thought we’d reach the point where DOM would become a burden, and
