“Sorry, I…Well done, you two, fantastic, great news, great news,” and Harry’s voice trailed off. He managed to smile, to look like this was alright. But I could see that it wasn’t. Then he said, “Yes, well, have you seen the bride and groom? We should be getting on and saying hello, shouldn’t we, terribly rude of us, Gigi hasn’t met them yet,” Harry’s hand on my back trying to move me away from Hannah and Rupert, but there was no way to make a quick getaway in the crowded room, not with Rupert forcing glasses into our hands.
“Not yet, don’t go, a toast is in order, don’t you think? Let me sort everyone out.” Another look passed between Hannah and Harry as Rupert handed each of them a glass. Then Rupert drained his drink and fumbled his reach for the next one, spilling champagne on my dress while I watched the man I thought was mine try not to drown in some old regret.
I missed Johnny suddenly and painfully, wished that I was at home in our little apartment, in our little world, the way it was before I let Harry through the door. I looked around the room, felt the cold champagne soaking through the fabric into my skin, watched a drunk couple try to reenact the lift from Dirty Dancing in the middle of the floor. I didn’t belong here. We came to this wedding so I could meet Harry’s friends and see London and fall in love with it, but I didn’t belong here. I don’t know why I thought I did.
“I’m so sorry,” Rupert spluttered at me as I backed away to avoid the spray and keep myself from stumbling into Hannah and Harry’s affair. Or whatever it was that was sitting there between them. I said, “That’s OK, would you excuse me a sec…I’m just going to the ladies’.” I broke out of Harry’s grip and pushed my way through the crowd with him calling my name and me refusing to hear it.
I fixed my makeup in the bathroom because I didn’t know what else to do. I blotted at the dark patch of champagne on my dress to look busy. He didn’t pull his arm away as fast as he should have. He should have pulled his arm away when she ran her fingers down to his wrist. He should have lifted his hand to have a sip of champagne and shrugged her off. But he didn’t. He looked down at her fingertips on the fabric of his suit. He said…What did he say? I asked him, when I called him, before our first date, I asked him, was he…
Are you with her?
Who, Hannah? No, not at all.
Because I don’t want to get involved, you know, if you’re taken.
No, Hannah’s a friend, an old friend from university, that’s all.
Because if you’re with her, even a little bit, it’s kind of shady, to give me your number like that. How’d you know I didn’t have a boyfriend?
I didn’t. I looked for a ring, but didn’t see one. I thought that if you had a boyfriend then I would have to take the risk. You could explain me away. A friend from long ago.
Yeah, it was long ago.
Yes, and I’d waited for you for a long time.
Me too. I was waiting too.
Maybe he was waiting for me, but I could see by the way the air was knocked out of him when Rupert said “expecting” that while he was waiting for me he had been passing the time with her. The champagne buzz lifted from my head. The clarity was harsh, like summer sun through a window, showing up all the dirt.
“Oh, Gigi, thank goodness you’re in here, I thought I’d lost you. Thank you so much. That could have all been very ugly,” Hannah said from the bathroom door before opening her clutch to take out her lipstick. I glanced at it. Laura Mercier. The bag, YSL. I watched her for a minute, reapplying makeup, combing through her hair, spritzing perfume. Her eyes focused entirely on herself as she talked to me.
“You’re really a star, I’m sorry you had to be in the middle of that, I tried to keep Rupert away from you both, but you see what he’s like. He was drunk before we even got to the first course. I’d be so grateful to you if you just wouldn’t mention this to anyone else tonight and preferably wouldn’t speak to Rupert again, you understand, don’t you.”
“No, I don’t, not really,” I said to her reflection. She had everything: looks, money, friends, my boyfriend. She got away with things because she was pretty. She talked to people like they worked for her.
“You know, don’t you, Harry told you, of course, at least, I assumed he had. No? Well, alright, the short story is that Rupert and I got together after uni and we were on and off for six years. Things would be so good for a while and then they just, wouldn’t. He always managed to get me back. But we were off when I was seeing Harry, so it could hardly be described as cheating, not really. Rupert just never knew about us. When he decided to really be on and finally propose to me, well, everything moved very quickly. I think poor Harry was quite put out but he knew it could never work between us.”
“You were on a break when you were seeing Harry?” I said, just to say something, wondering if Monica, Phoebe and Chandler would be joining us in the bathroom too.
“Yes, and we agreed it would be better for Rupert to never know. Rupert loves Harry and always has, so it was easier all around for everyone, kinder really, even though we didn’t really do anything wrong, just easier never to tell him or anyone, don’t you think?”
She
