I left the hospital with a big smile on my face. My life wasn’t crumbling to pieces, after all.
MY SMILE FADED WHEN I approached my car in the parking lot and found Jake leaning on it. He wore reflective glasses and had his arms crossed over his chest. When he noticed me, he pulled away from the Camaro, took off the glasses, and hung them from the collar of his gray Henley.
“Hey.” His silver eyes scanned me from head to toe.
I marked the changes I’d barely noticed when I first saw him inside. He looked freshly showered, and he’d trimmed his beard closely and shaved it to make pristine lines at the edges. There were no circles under his eyes, and his wild scent of pine and rain intermingled with a dash of sandalwood soap. Even though I felt like melting into a puddle, I hardened my expression and barely offered him a nod.
“Um, Stephen looks good, doesn’t he?” he said.
“Yes.”
“I was finally able to get some good sleep, knowing that he was all right.”
“Good for you.”
He heaved a sigh. “Okay, I guess I’d better get to the point. I’m here because I want to thank you for—”
“No need to do that again.” I walked around him and opened the driver’s side door.
“Toni, wait.”
I glanced back with raised eyebrows.
He swallowed. “I owe you an explanation, one I should’ve given you before I left to go to New Orleans.”
I turned away from the car and gave him my undivided attention, my heart suddenly racing. Was this it? Was he finally going to tell me why he left me?
“I realize that a thank you isn’t enough for what you did to help me find Stephen,” he continued, “and even though I think that sharing my reasons for leaving you will only make things worse, maybe it’s a better way to express my gratitude since it’s what you want.”
I wasn’t sure this would serve as thanks, but I needed to know, needed to understand, so I could finally be done with him just as he was done with me.
He moved a step closer, his gaze locked with mine. “I wish I hadn’t been such a coward and had told you face-to-face why I had to leave. But I was afraid that if I talked to you, I... I wouldn’t be able to end things.”
I slow blinked. What was he saying?
“Toni, I didn’t leave because I didn’t care for you. I left because... I cared too much.”
Confusion washed over me. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“We should’ve never moved in together. I should’ve never let it get that far knowing that a long-term relationship between you and me was impossible.”
I shook my head. “Impossible? Why?”
“Because I have a duty to fulfill. You see, after my brother went missing and my dad finally gave up the search, he asked me to keep our bloodline alive. With Neil gone, I’m the last one in what once was a powerful werewolf dynasty.”
I took a step backward, my thoughts and emotions whirling out of control, slowly wrapping around his meaning.
“I didn’t want to leave, Toni, but I had to. I made a promise. I owe it to my father, my grandfather, and Neil to pass on our legacy, and with you... that would be impossible.” His voice grew quiet at that last bit.
Tears slid down my face as the extent of what he was saying hit me. He didn’t leave me because he’d stopped caring. He’d left me because I wasn’t a werewolf, and as such, I would never be able to give him children to continue the Knight bloodline. But, more accurately, he’d left because he’d made a promise to his father.
Oh, God, this was the reason he didn’t like to make promises.
He reached over and touched my cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb. His silver gaze wavered with emotion and regret. “There hasn’t been a day since I felt that I haven’t thought about you, and when I saw you again I realized that all that time apart did nothing to change the way I feel about you.”
“Jake,” his name came out in a sob as my heart lurched in my chest.
He pressed on, his large hand cupping my face. “I took you to see my grandfather because I hoped he might be able to detect in you what I couldn’t. Sometimes, non-werewolf women can bear our children. It’s rare, but it happens. But he didn’t find that potential in you. You and I, we would never be able to—”
“Oh, God, please stop.” I pulled away from him, tears falling freely now. He’d been right. This was worse than not knowing. Understanding that he cared for me but had to choose someone else who could give him the children I couldn’t was torture.
He lowered his head, the fringe of his dark lashes hiding his eyes. “Forgive me.”
Jake took a step back as if to leave. I gripped his hand. It took him a moment, but he met my gaze, revealing a deep sadness that mirrored mine.
“I understand.” I nodded, fighting back my tears. “I don’t know if I can forgive you for leaving without telling me the truth or for the pain I’ve lived with all this time, but I understand.”
“Toni.” He pulled on my hand and wrapped me in his arms, squeezing me against his hard chest and burying his nose in my hair. I bit my tongue and shut my eyes.
We held each other for a long time without saying a word. What was there to say? The pain I thought I’d left behind blossomed freshly, tearing at my heart and delivering a sense of finality greater than the one I’d felt the day he left me. I couldn’t be the reason he broke the promise he’d made to his father, nor the reason his bloodline came to an end.
Of course, I understood.
Slowly, I pulled away and put some distance between us. “Thanks for telling
