“Good riddance,” the blonde said, appearing relieved to have discovered his douchebaggery in time. Gracefully, she whirled on her pointed heel and walked away.
Jake scrubbed at his face, appearing exhausted.
I thought of saying something biting and hurtful, but being around Jake got me all tangled up inside. I lost my mind around him—exhibit A: our recent make-out session—and forgot all the promises I’d made myself. The best thing I could do was avoid him, so I skirted around him and walked away, too.
“Toni, I didn’t mean to.” He went for my hand, trying to grab it, but I snatched it away.
“Stay away from me, Jake.”
“I—”
I lifted a hand to stop him from saying anything else. “You already told me that this,” I pointed at him then back at myself, “wasn’t possible, so you need to stop acting like it is.”
My words were all kinds of wrong. The reasons that had made our relationship impossible had disappeared, and all I had to do was tell him the truth. What he thought was an obstacle didn’t exist anymore. In fact, it never had. But now, more than ever, I felt I couldn’t open up to him. Jake had destroyed my trust, and he wasn’t making a good case in rebuilding it. On the contrary, his actions were nothing but a flashing warning sign to keep away.
And not just that. There was too much I needed to learn. I didn’t know me anymore, didn’t know my limits, my strength, my character. Everything was changing, so how could I be with anyone when I didn’t even know myself. I would not become anyone’s accessory out of convenience. I would not join my fate with someone else’s without understanding the consequences.
Did I need a pack? Would being with Jake mean I was joining one? He’d been a lone wolf when I met him, but now he was talking about building his legacy. I didn’t understand enough about being a werewolf, and I needed my head clear to be able to make the best decision possible. That definitely meant staying the hell away from Jacob Knight.
“I have enough problems as it is,” I said. “Don’t add more to my list. Do you think you can do that? Because I can surely help you with your promise and legacy problems. I’m trying to let you be, to move forward.” I swept a hand over the room to indicate the party. “You see, this is me trying. So let me.”
I waited for an answer, but he just stood there staring at me, his eyes dark, his expression guarded. I felt what he felt. It was plain in his features. He shared my pain, and it tugged at my heart. But I had to be strong. I had to look further than today. He and I couldn’t have a future together if there was no trust.
At last, he spoke, “You’re right.” He took a step closer and lowered his voice. “I’m trying, but it’s not easy. You have a hold on me that I can’t understand. It’s like...” He shook his head and pressed his lips together, unwilling to say what he thought. “I know you feel the same. It’s been like this since that first time.”
I held his gaze, unable to deny any of it. We were like two open books to each other. The dumb attraction was mutual. We were a pair of fools who lost all reason whenever the distance between us was less than a few hundred miles. God, maybe Rosalina was right about moving to China.
“Why can’t you understand I just want you to be safe,” he continued. “If something happened to you...”
I took one of his large hands in mine and squeezed it. “You have to let me go, Jake.”
“Don’t friends have a right to worry about each other?”
“We can never be friends. You know that.” I let go of his hand and retreated a step. “Friends don’t...” I gestured toward the corner where we’d just made out.
“Then maybe we should...” He let that hang, eyeing me suggestively.
Wait?! Was he trying to say that we could be lovers while he found someone else to fulfill his other needs?
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to insult you. I guess I can be a selfish asshole sometimes.” He paused and considered for a moment, then added, “It wouldn’t do for me either. I want to give you everything.”
My chest squeezed painfully. I wanted everything with him, too. God, this was so painful. The back of my eyes stung, and I turned away before tears made their appearance.
“There you are!” Rosalina came running toward me. “Damien’s friend is ready to meet you.” Noticing Jake standing behind me, she came to an abrupt stop, looking surprised.
“Hi, Jake.” She gave him a little wave.
“Hello,” he said.
Her sudden presence brought my onslaught of tears to a halt, for which I was more than grateful.
“Oh, good,” I said, putting on a cheery voice. “I was starting to get bored. Let’s go.”
Damien appeared next, weaving through the crowd. “C’mon, Eric Lone waits for no one. Hurry up!”
What? Eric Lone? That was Damien’s friend?
Eric Cross—or Eric Lone as he was known in St. Louis—was an infamous werewolf that had almost become a sort of urban legend. The rumor went that fifteen years ago his wife and daughter had been killed by the leader of a rivaling pack. They said that when he heard the news he was stricken with grief and tried to take his own life. His pack stopped him and when the bulk of the pain passed, he vowed to avenge his loved ones.
He parted from his pack, becoming a lone wolf, and a year later, every trace of his enemies had been erased from existence. Eric Cross had killed every single one of them, down to the last descendant, erasing their legacy forever. Ever since, everyone knew him as Eric Lone, and his name
