Without breaking eye contact, he let his fingers travel up my naked stomach to the edge of my bra. He pushed one strap out of the way and kissed my collarbone. I wrapped my hands around his neck, digging in my nails.
He hissed in pain and pulled back, surprised.
Oh, no! Not my nails. My claws!
I clenched my fists tightly, hiding the evidence, and pushed against Jake’s chest. He rolled off of me, and I jumped out of the bed, snatching my discarded shirt, and dug my claws into the palms of my hand. The pain sobered me. I rushed into the tiny bathroom and slammed the door shut. Frantically, I ran my hands under cold water and revealed the half-moon wounds I’d made. I pumped soap into them and hissed at the sting that followed, but that bit of extra pain made the claws retreat.
A stream of blood washed down the sink. I watched in awe as the wounds closed, leaving smooth skin behind without a trace of what I’d done.
Holy witchlights! That was a new one.
I splashed cold water onto my hot face. It hardly felt like enough. I needed an ice bath to put out the heat and desire that was coursing through my body. I wanted to stay locked in the bathroom, but I gathered my courage, slipped on my tank top, and walked back out.
Jake was sitting at the edge of the bed, his head buried in his hands. His shirt was also back on, which sent a pang of regret into my heart.
God, I wanted him so badly, but I didn’t have the answers I needed to understand the werewolf world.
“I... I’m sorry,” I said. “It suddenly occurred to me that maybe having sex wasn’t such a good idea—even if my entire body disagrees with my brain.”
He glanced up, straightening. He ran a hand behind his neck, then looked at his fingers, rubbing his thumb over his index finger, peering at the tiny bit of blood I’d drawn. He stood and walked to me, his eyes intense, his desire still simmering.
Crap, if he kissed me again, I didn’t think I would have the strength to stop him, and he would find out the truth.
“Um, we shouldn’t... you know... it’s a bad idea.” I wrung the front of my tank top, twisting it like an old rag.
Part of me, like 99.99% of it, wished he would argue and say “to hell with it,” but he didn’t. He just watched me closely for a long moment, then nodded in agreement.
“I don’t mean to complicate things or make things harder for you... and me. It’s just,” he paused and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, “I lose my head whenever I’m around you.”
“Ditto.” I smiled sheepishly.
He smiled back, his eyes tender and full of love. My heart ached, twisting on itself so intensely that I gasped for breath.
The words “I love you” perched on my lips, but I held them back. Right now, they wouldn’t make any of this easier, and maybe, once I knew what I should do, I would be glad I’d held them back. If I decided that I didn’t want to be with him, not saying them would be for the best. But if instead, I decided to be his mate, then I would be able to tell him without any concern about what might happen next.
He took a deep breath, his broad chest expanding. “I think it’s better if I leave.”
I nodded.
“I’ll be right next door if you need me.” He walked toward the steps, then paused with his hand on the railing. He shook his head and gave a derisive laugh. “This goes to show you how you affect me and make me forget everything, but... did you find Blake? Is he alive?”
I matched his derisive laugh because I had also completely forgotten about the awful experience, and now that he brought it up, the horror of what I’d witnessed hit me all over again, and all I could do was nod, as I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to put the images of that mangled face out of my mind.
“Fuck, so Ulfen was right.” Jake forgot about leaving and walked back. “Do you know where to find him?”
I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t come up with a location. Um,” I searched my memory for something other than the blood and Blake’s gleeful expression, “he was in some sort of warehouse, I think. He was beating a man to a pulp. I believe... I watched him kill him.”
“Oh, Toni. I’m sorry. That must’ve been awful.”
“It was. He was enjoying himself so much, beating him with his naked fists.”
“Did you recognize the man?”
“No. His face was destroyed.”
Jake winced. “I hate that you had to see that.”
“I always thought Blake was a good man, but no good man could do what he was doing. I wish I’d been able to see more, so we could find him.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it, okay? You did what you could. Just call Tom and let him know what you found out. He can tell his men to be on the lookout. I’ll see what I can find out, too. Earlier today I made a list of people I can ask and places Blake was known to frequent. Maybe I’ll find him.”
I stepped forward and snatched Jake’s hand. “Don’t. Please, don’t look for him. He’s a monster. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Jake gave me an amused smile that seemed to say “Don’t be silly, little girl. No one can hurt me.” Oh yeah, he thought he was such a big bad wolf, and no one could harm him or ever get the drop on him, but he hadn’t
