She’d planned so hard for this day, had thought about it so long, that she found the reality dizzying. As the clock ticked so slowly toward seven, everything seemed dreamlike. She’d lain out by the pool, watching the clouds move overhead, and held the thought to her like a cherished doll. Ben O’Callahan was in love with her. He was going to claim her as his. Formally, as his submissive, his property. His lover. She knew what that meant to those five men who were an integral part of her blood family.
She’d refused to let the possibility of failure enter her mind until that dreadful night had forced her to confront the unthinkable. Until then, her certainty that she was meant to be his had driven her forward. With the goal achieved but not consummated, it left her oddly unbalanced, that part of her empty and waiting to be filled with something more substantial.
Returning to the present, she decided she felt like a harlequin, one half focused as a laser, steady as a rock, the other like nitro trapped in a bottle, ready to explode.
Putting her hand on her heart, she tapped out that song, I’ll Stand By You, remembering their dance together. It made sense that it came to mind now, because she was standing on the same footbridge. She swayed, replaying the words in her head, so appropriate to everything she’d hoped and dreamed about when it came to Ben.
“You amaze me.”
Opening her eyes, she saw her sister at the entrance to the bridge, watching her. She was glad to see Cass a little less tired today. She, Lucas and the others had tried their best to balance her natural need to grieve with distractions, things to keep the ache from being unbearable. It was going to take time, they all knew that, but it was hard to see her sister with that sadness in her eyes so often. Marcie had shed her own tears over Jeremy, but no matter how guilty she felt about it, the truth was Ben’s behavior toward her these past several weeks had kept her preoccupied. She wouldn’t put it past him to have taken into account that side effect. Ruthless Master, merciful lover. Good friend.
She went to Cass now, held her sister close. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Don’t you want to know why you amaze me?”
“Because I’m an incredible sister in all ways and you worship me?”
“Still not loaning you my Jimmy Choos.”
“Bitch.”
Cass grinned, as Marcie had hoped, and eased back. “This is beautiful.” Cass fingered the hem of the robe. “The man does have good taste in clothes.”
“I know. He’s probably a repressed homosexual.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Cass snorted, then sobered. “You amaze me because you had such determination, such conviction. You didn’t doubt yourself, or the way you felt for him, no matter how much it looked like an adolescent crush. You knew.”
Marcie shrugged. “There were times I was afraid I was wrong, from his end of things. But the stories you’ve told me…each of them knowing which woman was the one? There was another side to that. Even though each of you had reasons to resist or doubt the inevitable, it was already inside you too, such that he was able to convince you of it pretty damn quickly. I remember how Dana put it. ‘One look into Peter’s gray eyes and I knew I was fucked. Literally and figuratively.’”
Cass’ blue eyes twinkled. “Well, the soldier’s as much a part of her as the minister.” Then she grew somber again. “We should have supported you more. It wouldn’t have been as difficult.”
“No.” Marcie shook her head. “That was part of it. You challenged the premise, tested it, Ben most of all. That’s the way any deal is supposed to go, to make sure it’s solid. And these past three weeks…he’s been wonderful.
Her sister gave her that penetrating look. “There’s a but in there.”
“It sounds terrible.” Marcie laughed at herself. “I’m just kind of going crazy, because he’s keeping it to all romantic stuff. Most women complain about guys wanting to have sex and nothing else, but…”
“I’ve seen some of the romantic things he’s doing.” Cass lifted a brow. “Yes, it does fulfill emotional needs, but at the same time, it keeps a fire going under the physical. They’re very good at that. He wants you worked up to the point you’d jump him on a public street corner if he told you to do so.”
Marcie blinked at the bald assessment. “He’s doing it intentionally?”
“Yes, and no. Yes, in that they can’t help themselves. The romantic is integrated with the Dom, and no, in that I do believe he’s truly trying to woo you, the way he knew he should have been doing from the very beginning. More than that, he’s giving you time to trust him again. And maybe time for him to trust himself again as well.”
Marcie nodded. “Much as I hate to admit it, I probably needed that. I’m not sure if…right after, I would have been ready. There needed to be some time for the air to clear. But honest to God, if he gives me another one of those neck kisses in front of you guys again I’m not going to be responsible for raping him on the kitchen island.”
Cass put an arm around her, smiling, but then they contemplated the water together. “You had to grow up so fast,” her sister said at last. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Ben asked me the same thing. He called at lunch, and he was so gentle. Told me it wouldn’t change anything for him. Said I could have more time if I needed it. But I don’t need more time. I’ve wanted this for so long. I feel like a carnival’s been set up within a stone’s throw of my bedroom window for seven years, but I haven’t been allowed on any of the rides.”
At Cass’ raised brow, Marcie chuckled. “Okay,
