Paisley stared at him, at the whole other box of stuff still waiting beside him. She and her problem had invaded his life, inconvenienced him in countless ways, and in response, he’d tried to bring some of her home to his.
Something inside her broke. The opaque glass wall of denial surrounding the truth she’d been hiding from. There would be no managing of expectations. Because she was in love with him. Again. Or maybe still. Ty Brooks was her person. The one she’d been looking for and writing about for eighteen years, just waiting for him to come back to her. And now here he was, doing this devastatingly sweet thing, and she didn’t even know where he stood on the topic of them.
She burst into tears.
The blur of Ty moved into her field of vision, reaching for her. He pulled her in tight, wrapping those big, strong, capable arms around her, and all she wanted to do was lean on him. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask first. I thought you’d be okay with it. We can pack it back up. You don’t have to look at it.”
Under any other circumstances, the edge of panic in his voice might have made her smile. Instead, she sobbed harder, pressing her face against his chest. “No, I’m not mad. It’s sweet and thoughtful.”
His broad palm cradled her head. “Then what are you upset about, baby?”
“How the hell am I supposed to keep my head in this short-term, casual zone when you’re acting like this?” she demanded, hiccupping through another sob. A part of her wanted to pound against his chest, but that would require letting go of the death grip she had on his shirt.
“Like what?”
“Like the sweet, thoughtful, caring boyfriend you used to be.” Realizing the heaving breaths weren’t helping her be understood, she fought for some measure of calm. “I don’t know how to not feel around you. I asked for casual. I agreed to casual. I’m trying so hard not to change the rules, but you’re making it so fucking hard.”
The tension in his frame relaxed as he leaned back and tipped her face up. His hand was gentle as he thumbed away her tears. “We were fooling ourselves that this was ever going to be casual. It’s not who we were, not who we are. There’s something here, Paisley. There always was.”
That shocked her enough to stem the tears. Her heart kicked hard and fast against her ribs. “What are you saying?” She needed him to spell it out for her so she didn’t take a leap without a net.
He cupped her cheek in his broad, callused palm. “I’m saying let’s change the rules.”
It scared the shit out of Ty to say it. No part of him felt like he deserved the gift of another chance with her. He wasn’t at all sure he could do more, but he knew without a doubt he couldn’t do less. If this time with her had showed him anything, it was that he couldn’t do casual with her. He couldn’t be with this woman and not remember what used to be.
She made him want to protect her, to be the one she could turn to. He wanted to be the one to take that fear away for her. With every part of his battered, battle-scarred soul, he wanted to earn her love again because it was the color, the joy he’d been missing for half his life, and he was more afraid of having to learn how to do without it again than he was of not trying at all.
Throughout the past few weeks, she’d slipped in and out of this unfamiliar, guarded demeanor, as if she’d kept reminding herself of the rules she’d mentioned. And maybe she had. But all traces of that emotional armor were gone now.
“I’m going to need you to spell this out for me because I want to make sure I don’t misunderstand.”
The tearful, tremulous hope dawning on her face twisted Ty into knots. He’d hurt her so badly before. He was determined that he wouldn’t—couldn’t do it again. That would take more honesty, more bravery, than he’d given her in years.
Because he needed to keep touching her, he cupped her jaw, his fingers pressing against the fluttering pulse in her throat. “I had to walk away from you after high school because I knew we wouldn’t survive my constant deployment, and I wouldn’t be able to do the job the way I needed to because a part of me would have been back home with you. I thought it was better if you had the chance to move on and build the life you wanted. One with somebody else, who wouldn’t always be half a world away. Garrett never let me forget how much of a fool he thought that made me.” Ty swallowed, thinking perhaps he was finally doing something his brother of the heart would approve of.
“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I wasn’t. But I never expected to have you back in my life. Running into you again has been like a damned miracle. I stopped even hoping for those a long damned time ago. But the fact is, we have a second chance—if you’re willing—and I don’t want to waste it. I can’t make any promises of smooth sailing. My service changed me, and I’ve got shit that will never fully heal. But you make me remember who I used to be, who we used to be, and I want that. I want you. I always wanted you.” The pulse beneath his fingers leapt.
“Ty.” Paisley’s voice was choked, and he realized she was crying again.
Before he could give in to the fresh spate of panic that he’d said the wrong thing again, she rose to her toes and kissed him. “Yes.”
