SEX ON CAMPUS
Hooking up is a means for experiencing casual sexual encounters, but it is also a means for beginning romantic relationships. Many of the college women with whom I spoke were interested in hookup encounters evolving into relationships; men, in general, were less interested in pursuing committed relationships. Regardless of what individual college men and women want, many recognized that, for better or worse, their college years are a time for less serious romantic relationships.
Since hooking up is a no-strings-attached approach to sex and relationships, it facilitates “keeping things casual.” This outlook on relationships is fueled, in part, by the way students define what it means to be in college in general.3 Many college students referred to college as being a time to “party” or a time to “let loose.” As freshmen, they enter college with the notion that a large part of their college experience should center on having fun. Although college administrators might like to believe that college is about academics, for many students the social aspect of college is equally important, if not more so. Several students, particularly men, spoke of picturing college life to be like the film Animal House, which portrays an alcohol- and party-centered lifestyle. Certainly, not all students feel this way. I interviewed many devoted students who put classes first and anything else second. However, even those who do not buy into the idea that “college equals partying” cannot help but be affected by the number of students who live by that sentiment.4
If many students define college as a time to have fun and “party,” it is not likely that these same students will want to pursue only committed, exclusive relationships, which are believed to interfere with the goal of having fun. As Lee, a freshman at State University, put it: “I had a boyfriend senior year [in high school] and he goes here also. We 52
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decided before we got here that we were going to break up and see other people just to do the whole college thing or whatever.” Similarly, Max, a sophomore at State University, discussed how some of his female friends who are currently in relationships often say that experiencing college life is more important than being faithful to a boyfriend. “Then even here [at school] some of the girls are like: ‘Yeah I have a boyfriend, but then again I’m a sophomore in college. ’ . . . So, I think the word ‘couple’ here is vague in the sense that you know in high school what you thought would be cheating . . . may not be [considered]
cheating here [at school]. I don’t know, it’s difficult; it’s a touchy subject” [emphasis by interviewee].
Tony, a senior at State University, also talked about the merits of keeping relationships casual during college before entering the “real world” changes things.
KB: Would you say that if somebody hooks up that they tend to hook up with the same person repeatedly or is it generally different people?
Tony: For me, it’s generally a month or so.
KB: You hook up with the same person for a month?
Tony: Yeah, and then like I don’t know, I find like little like flaws.
I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but you find little like things that you’re not too attracted to and it kind of fades away a little bit. And it might, maybe the girl finds little things too [that she doesn’t like about him]. It kind of fades away and then someone else comes along. I think being a senior right now is a big part of it. I think a lot of the seniors right now just like to have someone to hook up with on a steady basis because they know they’re going to be graduating soon and once they graduate like that’s it, no more college life, so you might as well do it up while you can.
KB: Why do you think it will be different after college?
Tony: Because you know, real life, real jobs, I’ve got to wake up every morning at 9 o’clock and do the whole corporate thing.
Umm, I think it’s a lot easier right now.
In addition to students defining their college years as a time to party, they may also be keeping relationships casual because they are in T H E H O O K U P S C E N E
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no hurry to get married. Although there may be some students, particularly women, hoping to meet their future spouse in college, there are many others who are in “no rush” to find their future spouse.5 Most students I interviewed were not preoccupied with thoughts of marriage, yet almost all of them planned to marry by their mid- to late twenties or early thirties.6 Therefore, most students believed there would be plenty of time after graduation to find their future spouse.
Despite both male and female college students expressing their wishes to marry several years after graduation, men and women’s different timetables for marriage may affect the dynamic between them on campus. In general, women indicated that they were interested in marrying sooner than men: age 29 was their absolute deadline for getting married.7 Men, on the other hand, did not refer to a deadline for marrying. It seemed that many men wanted to get married “no sooner than
[age X],” while several women were hoping to get married “no later than [age Y].” Violet, a junior at State University, was one of a handful of female students who indicated that marriage was on her mind.
KB: Do you think about marriage at all?
Violet: [Laughing and animated] I was looking at a bride book today while I was at work this morning and I was like: “I can’t wait to get married! I just have
