“Bad dream?”
She nodded against him. “You’re not the only one having nightmares.”
“What happened?”
“I’d . . . rather not say. Nightmares are common with frays, but mine have been getting darker lately. I try to forget them. What else can I do?”
He held her closer. “I’m here for you.”
She parted from him, then wiped her eyes. “I’ll manage. I always have.” She looked out the window, noting the evening light. “We should probably get back out there. We’re probably missed.”
“I don’t want to go back out there. That’s the real world, and the real world sucks.”
She smiled. “All right. Not that I needed much convincing.” Her face suddenly became dark and contemplative, like a cloud passing over the sun.
“Another bad thought?”
She sighed. “Nothing we can fix. I was just thinking that whatever’s behind magic is not a good thing. Just look at what’s happening to me.” She looked down at her arm. “It’s larger, now. Twice as big as when we met a few days ago.”
Lucian felt guilty about that. If she’d never met him, that likely wouldn’t have been the case. “Well, if the dream I had last night is to be believed, something about magic is broken. Maybe we can fix it. At least, I hope so. That’s the whole reason we’re doing this, right?”
Serah was quiet again. His heart ached that she seemed to be going back to that dark place. He waited for her to speak.
“I don’t have long. I’ve been using too much magic. I never meant to come this far, but it seems my fate is tied with yours. Whether I want that or not.”
It felt as if he were a tornado, and every person he came in contact with got sucked into his schemes and struggles, whether they wanted it or not. Is that what it meant to be Chosen? Was the gravity of his destiny too great for anyone to escape?
“It’s not over yet,” he said, taking her hands. “Not until we say it is.”
“How?” she asked. “How is it not?”
“I’ll find a way. We can get off Psyche. We can find the Orbs, stop the fraying. You’ll be saved, then.”
She looked out the window. “How likely is that to happen?”
“Who knows? We might find a way we didn’t see before. We’ve got to try, right? We’re in this together, now.”
She gave a small smile. “I was wrong about you being just broody. You’re a broody optimist if there is such a thing.” She heaved a sigh. “All this about saving humanity. Well to be honest, humanity can rot for all I care. What has humanity ever shown me besides the lack of it?”
She had a good point. Lucian found he didn’t have a response to counteract it – not that he was looking for one.
“To hell with what other people think. I’m here because it feels like the right thing to do, even if I don’t understand everything. But this has grown to be so much more than I thought. I can’t make sense of anything anymore. And worse . . .”
Above came the creaks of footfalls on wooden planks and shouted orders. The ship was getting ready to depart.
Serah broke away from him and Lucian watched her dress. She went to the small vanity in the corner and straightened her long, honey-blonde hair.
Lucian took that as his cue, dressing himself and straightening his own appearance.
She took his hands and looked at him seriously. “Look. I like you and all, and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. But . . . I’m happy with things staying the way they are.”
“You mean, the way they were before we committed these unspeakable acts?”
She didn’t smile. “Come on, be serious. Not to say we can’t do this again. It was . . . nice.” She watched him closely. “I don’t know. I just don’t want you to think it was something more than it was.”
“What was it to you?”
She bit her lip nervously. “Um . . . two friends comforting each other during a dark moment? Can we agree on that?”
“Yeah. I mean, sure.”
“Sorry. I’m shit at explaining things. Let’s put it this way. Yes, it meant something, yes, it was good, and yes, I like you. Just . . . don’t get all lovey dovey on me, okay?”
Lucian laughed. “Is that what you’re worried about? Putting labels on things?”
“Maybe? I don’t know. Let’s just let this be what it is. We already have enough going on without feelings to complicate it.”
“Well, I agree.”
She blinked. “Oh. Well, that was simple.” She let out a sigh of relief. “As long as we’re on the same page as far as that, I think we can put this awkward conversation to bed.”
She opened the door slowly and peered both ways down the corridor. She nodded, the signal that the coast was clear.
Just before he slid into the dark corridor, she grabbed his arm with surprising strength and pulled him in for a final kiss.
“Remember. This never happened.”
He winked. “What happened?”
She patted him on the chest. “Good boy. Now get out of here.”
With a final slap on the rump, she sent him on his way.
43
Thankfully, the days passed without incident. It was hard to pretend things were normal with Serah, but it seemed no one was the wiser to what had happened. She was incredibly good at pretending, which made Lucian think the whole thing really did mean nothing to her. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Despite their conversation, he needed more clarification on where they stood. He’d been hoping it’d meant at least something, but from her behavior, it seemed it really was just comfort for a single night and nothing more. Because of their previous conversation, he didn’t want to bring anything up. That would just make things weirder.
In the
