We drove the short distance to her house in thick silence. I didn’t doubt Miley was sorry for betraying me, but I still wasn’t sure it could have ever played out any differently.
When I pulled up outside her house, she let out a resigned sigh. “I guess this is goodnight?”
“Guess so.”
“And tomorrow when I see you at school?”
“Honestly,” I said, “I don’t know.”
Dejection glistened in her eyes. “I guess I deserve that.”
“Miley, this isn’t me punishing you. It’s not about that. But this season is a big deal for me. I have scouts coming to the game Friday. I have to tell my dad I don’t want to apply to his alma mater. And everyone is expecting me to win State. I have a lot riding on my shoulders.”
“And I’d just be another burden to carry. I get it. It’s okay, Avery, you don’t have to explain.”
“That’s not—fuck, why is this so hard?”
“It doesn’t have to be. I guess you just have to figure out what you really want and what you’re prepared to sacrifice to get it.” She gave me a weak smile. “Goodnight, Avery, thanks for the ride.”
Miley climbed out and slammed the door. The noise reverberated deep in my soul as I watched her walk up to her house. I wanted to go after her. I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her I thought she was worth it. But something held me back.
Fear.
Guilt.
Shame.
There were too many fucking emotions vying for my attention and by the time I realized I needed to at least say goodnight to her, she was already gone.
The house was quiet when I got home. I dropped my keys on the sideboard and kicked off my sneakers.
“Mom? Dad?” I called.
“In here, Ave.”
My chest tightened. Coach had given me until yesterday to come clean and tell my dad the truth about Notre Dame. But I still hadn’t found the words.
“Hey, Dad, what’s up?”
“Sit. I think we need to talk, Son.”
Shit. He knew. Coach had taken matters into his own hands and told him. Traitor.
I dropped into the seat and raked a hand through my hair. “Listen, I don’t know what Coach told you, but I can—”
“Jase knows about this?” My dad’s mouth curved. “Of course he does. But no, he didn’t betray your confidence and tell me. I found the application.”
“Oh.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His eyes narrowed with disappointment.
“I knew how badly you wanted me to go to Michigan, to follow in your footsteps. And I wanted it, Dad, I did. But then I started doing my research and Notre Dame reached out… and things changed.”
“Jesus, Avery, you could have talked to me about this.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “Was I excited about you following in your old man’s footsteps? Hell yeah. I want this for you, Son, so freaking much. But I want you to want it too. And wherever you choose to go, I’ll be there one hundred percent of the way.”
“Really?”
“Of course.” He chuckled. “I can’t believe you thought you had to keep this from me.”
It did seem kind of trivial now. But I knew what he’d given up when he chose our family over his dreams of going pro. I’d wanted to do this for him, to fulfil his dreams. But when it came down to it, I knew my heart wasn’t in Michigan.
“I guess I didn’t want you to see another one of your dreams go up in smoke.”
“Avery,” he shook his head gently, “that is not how I feel about it, you know that. I love my family more than anything. Do I wonder what life would have been like if things had gone differently? Sure, I do. But it wasn’t meant to be. I might have lost my dream of football in senior year, but I gained something much, much better.”
He reached across the table and laid his hand on mine. “I never want you to feel you can’t come to me. Ever. I am always here, okay?”
“Thanks, Dad, and I’m sorry… I should have told you.”
“Anything else you need to get off your chest?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Back in high school, when you and Mom… you know.”
“Yeah…” A faint smile traced his lips as if he was remembering.
“Gross.”
“Hey, we were seniors once too.”
“Don’t remind me.” I chuckled and he pinched my hand. “When you and Mom were sneaking around behind Coach’s back, weren’t you worried about betraying him?”
“I was.” He scrubbed his jaw. “Jase is my best friend. I never wanted to hurt him. But how I felt about your mom, that wasn’t something I could just turn off, Son. She saw me. She saw past the jersey and the team. She saw me. When you’re in the kind of position you’re in, Ave, that’s a rare thing.”
“So you were prepared to sacrifice your friendship with Coach for his sister?”
“Step-sister,” he corrected me. “I guess. But what I really hoped was that if Jase valued our friendship as much as I did, then ultimately, in the end, he’d want us to be happy. Where is all this coming from, Son?”
“I just wondered.” I shrugged, trying to school my expression.
“Wait a second, is there a girl on the scene? It wouldn’t happen to be this Miss Fuller I’ve heard so much about from Jase would it?”
“Good talk, Dad,” I got up.
Laughter rumbled in his chest. “Oh, don’t be like that. You can talk to me about this stuff. I’m a cool dad. I’m down with the kids.”
“Never going to happen, old man.” Waving him off, I headed for the stairs.
A weight might have been lifted now my dad knew the truth about Notre Dame, but I still had the issue of what to do about Miley.
I knew I couldn’t just turn off my feelings for her, not now.
But was I really prepared to risk everything to be with the girl who had betrayed the team?
The
