Harlem spotted her bra at the end of the sofa and her panties not too far away on the floor. Underwear? Who needed those? She threw those babies into her purse. Her only goal was to get dressed and get the hell out.
By the time Carter came back, Harlem was fully clothed and putting on her shoes.
He raked a frustrated hand through his already tousled hair. “Harlem, I–”
She didn’t allow him to finish. “You should take me home.”
Carter didn’t have to be a Psychiatrist to see that Harlem was in flight mode. “We need to talk first.”
She couldn’t make eye contact. “Nope. No. We don’t.”
“We’re supposed to just ignore what’s happening between us?” He didn’t feel like he could breathe while waiting for her to answer.
Her voice was strained. “Don’t you think it's best?”
“For who?” Carter wouldn’t pretend he wasn’t feeling what he was feeling. It was too big. He had just experienced a high no drug could give and didn’t want to come down. Carter knew that he was balancing on a knife’s edge when it came to how their relationship would move forward. He had sweet-talked his way out of many sticky situations but didn’t want to use those tactics on Harlem. His mind was racing. Carter needed to calm down so that he could think.
Thinking clearly around Harlem had always posed a problem. His brain never worked the way it was supposed to especially now.
Carter reached for her and gently pulled Harlem up off of the couch. “Hiding our feelings and pretending like they don’t exist isn’t the best move.” He said simply. “I won’t allow Elaina to run you away . . . or anyone else for that matter.”
“This isn’t about Elaina,” Harlem said quietly as she stared down at her feet. “She’ll do and say anything to hold on to you.”
It was about Damian. Carter knew that. Getting past the guilt was going to be a huge mountain to climb. He decided his best plan of attack was to be honest. He placed a finger underneath her chin and lifted her eyes to his. “We can’t ignore this.”
“Carter . . . we . . . we crossed a line.” You were inside of my body. She whispered. Her glassy eyes were conflicted. “This can’t be right.” Yet, being with him felt like the most natural thing in the world.
“Why does it feel like it?” He cradled her face in his hands.
The naked vulnerability in his eyes held her captive. Before she knew it, Harlem found herself speaking her inner thoughts out loud. “Does it matter how it felt? This should not have happened.”
“Then, why did it?”
It was an obvious question. Harlem took a moment to mull over her response before responding. “It’s Valentine’s Day. We saw the baby for the first time and are both emotional.” She sighed. “I won’t hide behind those excuses. I wanted to be with you.”
Finally, Carter heard the words he needed to hear. Relief washed over him. “So you feel it too?”
Her words came out as a whisper. “Yes.” Harlem glanced away quickly before slowly returning her eyes back to his. “I’m also feeling confused and guilty.”
“As if you’re betraying him?” Carter asked knowingly.
Harlem nodded. “I need some time to process all of this. Everything is happening so fast.”
Their gazes locked. The intense emotion as they stared into each other’s eyes was insane. Carter wanted to take her up to his bedroom and make love until they were too exhausted to move. Instead, he dipped his head low and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. His lips lingered there for a while.
Harlem’s eyes fluttered closed. Her entire body was buzzing with electricity. She leaned into Carter and placed the palm of her hands on the heated skin of his chest to keep her balance.
Slowly, Carter pulled back. “I want to explore whatever this is between us. Take as much time as you need. I’m not going anywhere.” He meant it. He would wait for Harlem. Forever if he had to.
Chapter 2
Harlem was finally home and alone to deal with her muddled feelings. As she began to undress, flashes of Carter kept popping into her mind. She couldn’t run away from images of him sliding his hands all over her body or him kissing her so thoroughly; she lost all sense of time and space. Harlem could still feel the weight of his body as it covered hers. It was evidenced by the fact her body was still having mini spasms from their bout of making love. Carter was wreaking havoc not just on her body but also on her mind.
Harlem closed her eyes, pinched the bridge of her nose, and slowly inhaled as if those actions would clear the confusion in her brain. I can still smell him on me. Half of Harlem wanted to get in her car and drive back to his house. It was the other half that was the problem. It was in direct conflict with that idea. For every memory of being with Carter, there was another. Thoughts and images of Damian would appear clear as day.
God, what am I going to do? If what happened between Carter and me was only physical, I would still feel guilty, but this was different. It was something else.
She felt it. That thing she had always dreamed about. That elusive connection. How was it possible to be so strong? Regardless of Damian’s blessing when it came to dating Carter, Harlem felt as if she were cheating.
The ultimate betrayal.
Harlem needed to quiet her mind,
