Absentmindedly, Harlem placed her hand over her stomach as she watched him watch her. He had a way of looking at her that made her forget everything that was swirling on around them. Harlem hated that things had become so awkward. Nervously, she stuttered. “H-how have you been?”
Carter didn’t mean for it, but his voice had an edge to it. “I’ve been busy.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. He had been incredibly busy, but he could always find time for Harlem. It had only been a few days since they put their relationship on pause, but it felt like an eternity. “You?”
I’ve missed your calls. “I’ve been trying to keep busy too.”
There was more awkward silence between them.
Finally, Harlem couldn’t take it. She spoke through nervous laughter. “I think Nate might be trying to get us together.”
“Maybe.” His words slipped past his lips much too easily. “He knows how I feel about you.”
Dagger to her heart. Ashamed of her behavior, Harlem glanced down at her feet.
Carter knew the moment the words came out of his mouth that he had said the wrong thing. Frustrated, he ran his hand down the back of his head. It was clear that Harlem did not feel the same way as he felt about her. It hurt, but Carter had to deal with it. He attempted to clean up the effects of his words. “Nate also knows that I respect your feelings. I get it. I have a lot of shit going on in my personal life. Your decision is totally understandable.”
“We both have a lot of crazy in our lives,” Harlem said quietly.
“I understand why you came to your decision.” It was harder than Carter thought to be around her. He no longer had the shield of frenemies to hide behind. “I’m sure with time, we’ll navigate this co-parenting thing with ease.” Carter wasn’t sure of anything. He could only hope.
Harlem twisted her fingers together. Just spit it out. “I miss you.”
Harlem spoke so softly that Carter couldn’t make out exactly what she’d said. “What?”
Harlem took a deep breath and glanced up into his eyes. She said the words a little louder. “I miss you.”
Carter was not sure he’d heard her correctly. “Did you say you miss me?”
Her eyes were glassy. “Yeah.” Vigorously, she nodded her head up and down. “I miss you so very much.”
Carter was rooted to where he stood. All he wanted to do was pull Harlem into his arms and hold her. But he couldn’t. Carter didn’t want to make a mistake by hearing what he wanted versus what Harlem was actually saying. Carter needed Harlem to make herself clear. “I don’t understand.”
She released a heavy breath. “I know we’ve been on this rollercoaster with seemingly more downs than ups.” She pressed her lips together before trying to explain herself. “You have been nothing short of understanding, generous, and incredibly patient given my crazy emotions. They have been all over the place. I just want you to know that there hasn’t been a minute that I didn’t know I could count on you. And when you pulled back, I realized how much you meant to me.” I think I’ve fallen in love. If sleepless nights weren’t an indication of how much Harlem missed Carter, seeing him certainly was. He was a balm to her soul. She hadn’t been able to breathe properly since their break.
“As a friend or more?” I’m crazy about you, Harlem. I need you to feel the same way.
“I want to more than co-parents.”
“How much more?”
Harlem bit her lower lip, searching for the words to describe what she was feeling. “I want it all. I want everything with you.”
Her words were exactly what Carter needed to hear. However, he still needed to be sure. “Elaina is going to be a pain in my ass for the rest of my life. Are you sure you can deal with that?” Carter held his breath, waiting for her to answer.
Harlem took tentative steps towards him until she was close enough to touch his chest. “I won’t lie. Elaina is something else, and lately, I’ve been feeling–.” Harlem didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but now wasn’t the time to play around. If she wanted Carter, she was going to have to be completely transparent.
“Feeling what?” He asked
Harlem thought about her most recent run-ins with Elaina. She wasn’t sure if there was anything to be concerned about, if she was just over-reacting, or worse–jealous. Therefore, Harlem decided to keep that part to herself. “I don’t know. It’s almost as if we don’t deserve to be happy together.” My overactive imagination has also been getting the best of me. Harlem had to release that energy. “These last few days have shown me how important you are to me. As far as Elaina, I won’t get it right every time, but I will try.”
“That’s all any of us can do, right?”
Harlem stood in front of Carter. Slowly, she brought her face to his and cradled his head in her hands. Gently, she pressed her lips
