“And?”
“And the first layer of the paradox was planted with powerful magic.”
The dew-web shone bright for an instant with the sound of inhaling.
“I smell Mab’s hand in this,” the creature spoke.
The mood suddenly turned dour. It was difficult to read the lipless fellow’s expressions, but the fractional narrowing of his eyes spoke volumes.
“Well, that makes this an easy choice,” The thick-skinned man said, a massive wooden branch manifesting in his hand.
The creature raised the log above his head, and Jeb got a real good view of a couple teeth embedded in the bark right before he brought it down on Jeb’s face.
Jeb flinched back and covered his head reflexively. Fat lot of good it’ll do, that thing’s the size of a tree. Jeb realized with horror that the last thought he’d ever have would be about the size of another man’s club.
“Hold!” The crude oil woman shouted, her hand interposing between Jeb and the club. “Have you forgotten so soon!?” She demanded.
Leatherface snorted. “I’d rather lose a pawn than risk giving that bitch one.”
“In light of the circumstances,” the lipless creature said. “I tend to agree with Erron. It would be safer to snuff out potential problems.”
“That’s the stance you’ve taken every time, and every time you’re made a fool of!” The oily woman said.
“Why don’t we put it to a vote, then?” The lipless creature said, glancing between the woman and the man with the club.
“Fine,” Leatherface rumbled, pulling the club away from Jeb’s face.
“I say we kill him,” He said. “Save us a lot of trouble down the road.”
“Agreed,” The dew-web chimed along with him.
“Risking allowing one of Mab’s plans to come to fruition is a needless risk. Kill him.” The lipless creature gave Jeb a glance. “Apologies.”
“This is another of her tricks to sow discord and cripple our future allies. Let him live.” The oily woman said.
“My domain is Reward. I cannot abide this man going unrewarded for his efforts in conquering the Impossible Tutorial. Let him live.” A man-shaped cloud of stardust that had remained silent until then spoke.
Jeb listened carefully, tallying like he’d never tallied before as the creatures – gods? – around him continued to vote. When it finally made it back around to the C.L.G, the vote was tied.
Jeb held his breath as his fate rested in the hands of a creepy little girl that seemed to writhe just beneath the surface.
“Well, with Kes'thuali’s vote, that makes six for destroying him,” The man with the club said, lifting his tree trunk before the CLG had even said a word.
“Let him live.”
The creatures around him froze as one, staring at the C.L.G. dumbfounded.
“You want to…not…destroy something?” The oily woman asked, frowning.
The C.L.G. slowly smiled, revealing a mouth full of needle-thin teeth, bending inward. “Why, is it not my prerogative to dole out destruction as I see fit? That should include not destroying, shouldn’t it? This seems like more fun in the long run. One way or the other.”
The giant leather-faced man growled and slammed his club into the black floor, causing it to ripple like water beneath Jeb for an instant.
“Fine! He lives! But a potential pawn of Mab’s can’t be allowed to roam around with so much Fate. Humans have no natural talent, so if we strip it from him and block him from the System, that should limit the amount of trouble he can cause.”
There was a general murmur of assent, nodding of heads all ‘round as Jeb’s gut sank. They weren’t gonna kill him, but tossing Jeb back into an earth in the middle of apocalyptic upheaval filled with superhumans was like plucking a turkey before throwing it to the wolves.
“Very well, we are in agreement that this corner of the cloud be instated as the new prime branch, and to strip the Fate from this human.” The lipless creature spoke, glancing at Jeb. “Good luck, Jebediah Trapper, and congratulations on passing the Impossible Tutorial.”
“Doesn’t really feel like I’m being congratulated, to be honest,” Jeb said, doing his best to keep the ire out of his voice.
The lipless, white-skinned man reached a gnarled finger out and poked Jeb in the forehead, dousing Jeb’s body in cold for a fraction of a second before his consciousness fled, leaving nothing but –
***Jeb***
Jeb briefly had the sensation of falling, before his back slammed into something soft. He bounced back upward, flailing, as he tried to process everything at once. A moment later he slipped off the edge of the bed and tumbled onto the ground, his nose filled with the ashy scent of cheap drive-in motel carpet.
Jeb put his shaky arms underneath him and propped himself up to his knees, glancing around.
The same motel room? he thought, scanning the room, gaze landing on Frank’s thick black glasses on the end table, ecstasy tablets right next to them... Am I back?
Was it all an ecstasy dream? Is that a thing? Maybe they got a bad pill, or somebody switched it with LSD. That makes more sense than magic, fairies, and Earth getting stitched onto another planet. I’m sure Frank will come out of the bathroom at any second with a glass of water or something.
Jeb itched his stump.
He glanced down, icy cold settling on the back of his neck as he took in the most powerful evidence that it wasn’t a dream.
Jeb’s right foot was AWOL.
His beard was nearing a month old, his hair was shaggy and felt like dog fur, his clothes were totally different than the ones he’d been wearing at the beginning, covered in wounds and monster blood.
“Damn,” Jeb grunted, pushing himself up to his foot, looking around for something to serve as a crutch or cane.
Congratulations Earthlings! A group of humans have completed the Impossible Tutorial. The
