She’s getting to me. Dammit!
Meredith clenched her fist and stared angrily at her shoestrings. This was the far worse Meredith had ever played and she was pretty sure everyone knew it. Of course coach subbed her out second half and she ended up sitting the rest of the game. She was playing like shit. They won, of course, but Meredith didn’t feel like she was a part of the win. Her teammates cheered and giggled loudly, squirting Gatorade in each other’s faces while Meredith ignored the happy atmosphere, and sat on the bench in the locker room staring down at nothing.
“Alright girls, gather around.”
Meredith let the images of her performance run through her head over and over again and cringed every time she thought about that fall. Dear God, was that the most embarrassing thing ever. The coach congratulated her team on the win. She was awful today. She was worse than awful. Meredith hunched her back over, sinking lower on the bench as the coach reviewed the highlights of the game and gave the members of her team recognition for being such a good contribution to tonight's win. Meredith winced whenever the coach said something good. He clearly had nothing good to say about Meredith and it was obvious when he skipped over her when congratulating everyone. After his post-pep talk, the locker room cleared and Meredith waited impatiently for her coach to speak. He stood in front of her, arms folded across his chest and legs planted wide as he let the silence take over for dramatic effect.
"I expect better from you, Compton. Do not ever pull any shit like that again or you will be wishing you had never touched a soccer ball."
"Yes sir."
"Hit the shower and come to practice next week with a better mindset. Leave whoever was wearing number seventeen today on the field just that...on the field."
"Yes sir."
The head coach exited and Meredith waited until she heard the door to the locker room close before picking up her water bottle and throwing it across the room to hit a locker. She turned around and pressed her hands against the locker and breathed heavily through her nose. Gabrielle picked up the water bottle that was thrown and hesitantly walked up to Meredith.
"You um, dropped this."
Meredith looked back at Gabrielle who was clutching her green Gatorade bottle like her life depended on it.
"You can leave it on the bench."
Gabrielle quietly placed the bottle down on the seat and dragged her teeth across her bottom lip, choosing her next choice of words carefully.
"You played great today."
Meredith dropped her hands down from the locker and snatched her gym bag form the bench. She had so much anger coursing through her veins, she became lightheaded.
"Don't lie to me. You did enough of that shit in our relationship. I am not some naive teenager anymore. I can handle the truth."
Gabrielle was taken aback and it showed by her opened mouth and raised brows. Meredith exited the locker room hoping Gabrielle wouldn't follow her. Of course Gabrielle didn't. She remained in the locker room, standing in shock. Out of all the scenarios she imagined her first encounter with Meredith to go, she did not expect that all. Meredith seemed different. So dark, so angry. After moments of getting herself together, Gabrielle went to find Keliah in hopes that Meredith would be there as well but when she saw the smile on Keliah's face, she knew that Meredith had not been there.
"Hey!"
"Hey,"
Gabrielle breathed.
"Um, I tried to talk to Meredith."
"Did it go okay?."
"She's angry. She has every right to be but I—I just need someone right now."
"Okay. Well I don't think she's coming back home tonight so you can stay here."
"Thank you."
"Yeah."
***
It was eleven o’clock on a Friday night and the library was empty except for a few people studying by themselves and one group study going on near the front. Meredith sat in a corner in the back of the library at an empty table skimming through poetry books. She was up to date on all of her assignments and didn’t have any upcoming exams so there was really no point of her being there but she just needed to be with herself for a while and regain her composure. She walked around the library looking for a book that sparked her interest. Nothing. She had read everything with purpose. Everything left was just a bunch of nonsense. Meredith dragged her index finger across each book, skimming every one of them. Meredith was bored out of her mind and she didn’t know what to do. She walked out of the library and headed to the coffee house. It was a bit of a walk but Meredith had nothing but time on her hands. She sat down at her lonely table in the back and watched the coffee slowly start to slow down. Meredith was still in her uniform and felt filthy but she was so tired and didn't feel like walking all the way back home. So she leaned her head against the window pane, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.
Meredith found herself in a deep sleep when she felt her shoulder being shaken.
“Meredith?”
Meredith woke up, seeing blurred lights and the smell of coffee beans hit her nostrils.
“What?”
Meredith groaned, still half asleep.
“You’re sleeping. The restaurant is about to close."
Meredith’s voice detector went off and suddenly she was
