her engine but the two women remained in the car, sitting in silence.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Why do you see my father?”

Keliah swallowed a huge gulp before speaking.

“He’s nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah. He understands my sarcastic wit and doesn’t mind it like most people. I don’t really have anyone to talk to lately because my friends are just- -complicated right now so he's there and I like him. And he likes me.”

Georgia grimaced and looked down at her fingers and played with the coat of nail paint. She knew she was hard on Keliah. But that was only for certain personal reasons. She didn’t mean to treat her like an outsider or make her feel small. That was just her way of protecting Keliah and herself.

“Well Keliah I had a great time tonight.”

Keliah’s mood lightened back up and she smiled at her professor

“This was fun.”

“Be safe getting back to you dorm okay? I don’t want to hear about you on the news tomorrow.”

“Professor Kerouac you act like we live in New York. This is Cali, babe.”

“Don’t call me- -”

Georgia sighed.

“Goodnight Keliah."

Keliah smiled at Georgia. She could make out enough of Georgia’s features from the moonlight to tell that Georgia was grinning.

“Night Professor!”

Keliah ran off inside of her dormitory and Georgia chuckled as she put her Porsche in reverse.

CHAPTER NINE

 

When’s the last time that I’ve been happy?

Meredith’s thoughts ran wild as she searched for the correct answer. She stared at her family all gathered around the dinner table, laughing and sharing fond memories while Meredith was just…there. Meredith stared down at her plate of food that had been untouched for the last thirty minutes.

“Meredith, honey, I made your favorite pie. What’s the matter?”

Meredith smiled thinly at her mother and reluctantly stuck her fork into the pie.

“I was just thinking. It looks delicious.”

Meredith made herself swallow her plate of food and her family went back to carry on their laughter. Meredith could be around the entire human race and she would still feel alone. She couldn’t share the physical pain she was tolerating with anyone.

So you got your heart broken, every teenager has. Move on.

Meredith tried to tell herself that but it was more to it. Much more. Meredith didn’t know how happy she could be, how hard she could laugh, how wide she could smile until she met Gabrielle. There was just this special bond that the two of them shared. Gabrielle made Meredith feel like she was living in a utopia. Like she was the only person on Earth and like she was truly loved. Then all of that was taken away from Meredith and she just felt alone now. Meredith’s eyes rolled up to the chandelier.

Come on, not at the dinner table.

Meredith tried to hold back the flood of tears that was soon to escape from her eyes. Her lower lip trembled and she looked up to the ceiling, hoping to send the tears back.

“May I be excused?”

Meredith’s voice came out low and wobbly. She was doing everything in her power not to burst into sobs in front of her family. The Compton family stopped talking and stared at Meredith.

“Sure, honey.”

Meredith’s mother told her in a questioning tone. Meredith pushed her chair back and made her way to her room upstairs. She shut the door softly and plopped down face first into her bed. The tears escaped her eyes and this time she didn’t try to stop them. Meredith grabbed her blue pillow and yelled into it. Her fan muffled her yell but she didn’t care if she was heard anyways. Her nose was dripping, her eyes were swollen and there was a big wet stain on her pillow now. This was good, Meredith thought. She needed this release. She needed to react to her heart being broken. She hadn’t reacted for almost three years so she needed this good cry. Meredith cried for twenty minutes, replaying the scene over and over again in her head of coming home to an empty house. Calling Gabrielle’s name several times before finding the letter sitting on top of the coffee table. Meredith’s sobs had calmed down but she now had an excruciating migraine. She went to the bathroom connected to her room and ran the bath water. She splashed the sink water on her face and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and a bloodshot red. Her lashes were long and wet and still dropped salty tears. When the bath water was full, Meredith removed her clothes and dipped her body into the warm water. She laid back and put her entire body and head under water. She closed her eyes letting the water wash over her, escaping her world for a moment. She could take her life right here. She thought about it. She would hold her breath, listen to her heart slow, and wait for the burning sensation to course through her veins until it reached her head and she exhaled deeply, letting the water over flow in her lungs. But that would be the easy way out and God forgave for taking someone's life, but not if you took your own. Meredith closed her eyes and felt the blood rush to her head. She lifted her head above water and sat up straight, gasping for air. After moments of catching her breath and looking

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