At least he’d be in a good mood later. That thought got my toes curling. I watched him leave.
“Ah…hemm!” Schaeffer cleared his throat, bringing my imagination back to the present. “Now that we’ve dispensed with my punishment, can we get on with it?”
“Schaef, honey, don’t think the punishment’s over.” I folded my hands before me. “But let’s talk mission. You said the LR were behaving oddly? Pissed I left? Sounds sentient to me.”
“Okay, we’ve covered the possibility I might be wrong, but they’re still not rocket scientists. Though not dumb as rocks, or your dog.” He shook his head. “Zebra? Really? All this over a dog.”
“I was a kid. To me he was as big as a horse and had black stripes, like a zebra. They do too, hence the association. Can we move on?”
“Well, reports have it that once the LR realized you really were gone, they became agitated, even aggressive. They won’t have anything to do with the team and charge at them whenever they get too far from the camp.” He reached out to the hologram projector in the center of the table.
A view of LR-442 popped up, a totally virgin wilderness. The hologram didn’t do it justice. He tapped the audio and the room filled with a strange howling. He let it run for a few more seconds, before shutting it down.
“What is that?”
“Your team thinks they’re mourning.” Now it was Schaeffer’s turn to be smug. “We were almost restocked when the reports came in. With this behavior the mission’s at a stand-still. Since you’re the only person they’ve responded to, you’re going back, indefinitely.”
A dozen responses popped in my head, but nothing came out of my mouth. My Kazan-side focused on the LR and I couldn’t wait to get back. My Batista-side paralyzed me. Remy. I couldn’t leave him again, not for that long, not anymore. We had plans. A family…
Wait! That life was a lie. Half our lives together was a lie. He thought I was off looking for DNA mutations. The other half of our lives, I was his wife. I loved him. I couldn’t keep lying to him. I couldn’t throw it away, not for anything.
I could feel them both in my head, starting to mesh, then breaking apart, like now. I rubbed my forehead as the coin spun. It landed, but I refused to see which side was up. I made a promise.
“No!” I pushed away from the table. “I split myself for ten years. It isn’t fair to Remy, or me. We want a real life. I won’t put it off ‘indefinitely’, not for anything. I’ll resign first.”
“Can’t do that till we get back.” Schaeffer put on that smug smirk. “We’ll be there in a couple days. I can’t imagine your guests would appreciate coming this far, only to be confined to the ship because you quit.”
“I can imagine how pissed they’ll be to see a new world, only to have you wipe out their memories of it.”
Still the smirk. “So, what if there’s no conditioning for them or you?” When I didn’t answer it was his turn to push away from the table. “You’ve got three days to be rested and ready.”
He left, but I remained.
I needed to think, without everyone asking questions and looking at me like I was an alien life form. I couldn’t answer their demands if I barely knew who I was right now.
I recalled all the years I’d been out here alone, secretly. Our whole Corps, a secret. Almost fifteen years of secrets. I laid my head on the table, letting memories flood over me of all the missions and all the homecomings, Kazan and Batista.
My image marker, the coin, was tumbling wildly as I tried to shove my two lives into one. Which one was I going to be, or would I turn into someone completely different?
I got up from the table, nervous with that idea, all my memories getting jumbled together. They’d never be able to sort them out again. Was that why I wasn’t a candidate anymore? Would they really leave my memories intact this time? Or Remy and Lizzy’s? I couldn’t be sure, but I had to pass the offer on, give them a choice.
First I had to find them.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The task of finding my friend and husband was simpler than I thought. I only had to follow the shell-shocked backward glances of soldiers I passed. Lizzy had that effect when running rampant. I passed a young captain, her cheeks still blushed.
“Our guests?” I queried to the forward day room.
“Yes, ma’am, and you’d better hurry.” She went on, laughing.
I found Lizzy propped up on the bar. Not at the bar. On the bar, between two soldiers. She saw me and winked, letting her hand fall upon one of the soldier’s buzz cut. She wriggled her fingers. “Ummm, velvety. I could be tempted to run more than my fingers over this.” She scruffled the other soldier’s head too, purring. “I’m thinking stereo.”
“Ms. Salazar! If you would join me, I’ll give you a tour.” Her two somewhat willing victims turned to see me and jumped to attention.
“I’m doing fine on my own. If I get lost, I’m sure someone will be happy to escort me back to my room.”
I gave her the look I’d learned from her mother.
She rolled her eyes. “Ooookay.” She dropped her hands to the men’s shoulders and launched herself off the bar. She bounced lightly. “I looovvve this lower gravity thing.” She continued little bouncy steps towards me, but not for my benefit. “I’ll see you later, boys.”
Remy joined me from where he’d been sitting in the corner. “I thought you were watching her.” I herded them both out of the day room.
“I was.” He grinned.
“And I was watching him too.” Lizzy chirped.
They both sounded like kids, backing each other up. “Fine. I’ll
