“You can stop pretending you’re able to handle everything.”
“I’m not pretending. I’ve been taking care of myself for years.”
“If that’s what you call hiding out here.” Dolan stared down at her. “I’ve read your file, everything. You were a high…”
“You had no right!”
He ignored her. “You were a high-rated chemist working on Alliance weapons projects, until one of the experiments went sideways. There was an explosion. People died. Your husband died.”
“I know what happened.” Jayda choked on the words. “Why are you throwing this in my face?”
“Because we’re facing a possible threat and I don’t need to be worrying that you’ll go down under the pressure.”
“I won’t!” She tried to pull away.
Dolan gripped her harder, refusing to let her go. “You were in the service. You know the weakest point of any defense has to be identified. You’re it. You couldn’t handle ten minutes in the gym.”
She tore her eyes away from his. “So what am I supposed to do?”
“When the time comes, wear your environmental suit.”
Her eyes darted to the cabinet where she kept it stored.
“Yes, I checked it out. It’s reinforced so you can move under gravity. That’s why you kept it on that first day. We can’t pull off any miracles, but don’t wear it again until you need to. Threat or no threat, you need to get used to higher gravity.”
Jayda knew it was true, as was his demand. “I’ll leave it off until then.” She swept her hand through her hair, loose and tangled. He must have undone it when he undressed her. She let it fall between them, hiding her face and pulling the blanket up around her tighter.
“Don’t do that.” He pushed her hair back and pulled her face around to look at him again. “You have to stop cringing every time I walk into the room.”
“We covered everything. Let me go.”
“No. Look at me.” Dolan pulled her back when she struggled to break free. “Look…at…me!”
She didn’t want to, but found herself locked in a stare down.
“I’m not Jack. Stop seeing him when you look at me. You were once a soldier. I need to know, when the time comes, that you hear me. That you obey me. That you don’t freeze up.”
She couldn’t escape his grip, or look away. His eyes burned down at her. His eyes, not Jack’s. His eyes were not as dark, instead a green-hazel. His skin was brown from recent sun exposure. His dark hair curled at the tips where he’d let it grow out a bit, with just a hint of grey along the temples.
The longer she looked at Dolan, more differences faced her. This man was taller and his hands stronger as they gripped her arms so tight. His chest was broader from years of strength training. She could see the bulging of muscles.
Her body trembled again, but this time it wasn’t fear gripping her. Jayda felt her face heat up and he smiled at her. That crooked smile that was his, not some cruel reminder from her past.
She liked the way he smiled. Dolan’s smile. She felt her own lips start to curl into a smile of her own as she let down her defenses.
Before she could think, his lips pressed against hers.
“Stop it, Dolan!” She tried to push him away, but his hands held her tight. “What are you doing?”
He laughed. “I don’t know. Do you?”
His lips were warm as he kissed her again. Her hands were still spread out over his chest, pushing him away, but with less and less urgency. The flush in her cheeks spread through her whole body. His hands slipped down her back to pull her against him.
He moaned softly in his kiss and combed his fingers back through her hair, drawing her head away from his. The color of his eyes shifted, the green overtaken by golden amber, as if a fire burned in their depths.
Mesmerized, she didn’t resist as he carried her across the room and lowered her into bed. Dolan kissed her again, harder. She moaned against his lips as his body pressed against hers, kissing him back with a hunger growing hotter inside her.
She bit at his lip when he pulled at the blanket between them, his fingers brushing against her breasts. She felt them trailing down her side, along her hip and over her thigh. Over her scars.
She flinched and Dolan’s eyes met hers again. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know.” She lied, as his fingers continued to stroke the scars. She tried to not let him feel the tension his touch brought her. She let out the breath she was holding, sliding her hand down his arm to his hand.
He caught her fingers, pressing them to her own thigh, his woven between hers. “See, Jayda, it is not as bad as you imagine.” His hand slipped out of hers. “Don’t be afraid to let me touch you.”
When Jayda woke again, she was alone. Crushingly alone. “What did I do?” She hadn’t felt this broken since waking up in medical rehab, tethered to life support.
She remembered who she was and what happened. She remembered those last moments. She’d been so close to reaching Jack, his hand almost in reach. He pushed people into her arms. She pulled them from the smoke, then another explosion blew her out of the doorway. Her last image was the chamber door cycling closed to stop the fire.
Waking up from that was the last thing she wanted, but she did, going on with her life. Just like she would today.
Thankfully the galley was empty. She took her coffee to one of the viewing portals, leaning against the frame to gaze out into the sparkling void. Space was the one place that calmed her. She’d been born and raised out here.
If she’d stayed out here, everything would have been different. Some survivors say they’d never have changed things, because they’d have never
