Now, my life is in shambles. But that isn’t the part that bothers me the most. I realize I am the only one responsible for what happened to me. It is the destruction of my children’s lives that keeps me awake every night. They started getting threats and then bullied by their peers in school—by grown adults on social media!
I hate that I’ve put my family through so much because of my poor decisions.
My daughter had to be pulled from school to do virtual learning at home due to all this. Her junior year of high school became nothing like she imagined, and that is all on me. I have no words I can give her that can possibly make up for all the chaos I have brought into her and her brother’s lives. “I’m sorry” will never heal the hurt I have caused them, as well as the others whom this madness has touched.
I was selfish and even immature. But I swear, from this day on, my only goal is to protect my children.
The Authors Sit Down with Jason for a Quick Q&A
Terri Anne and I also wanted you to hear from Jason Collier directly, in more of an interview format. After discussing it, we both decided that I was the more…shall we say…diplomatic of the two of us. As Jason has discovered, Terri Anne tends to go straight for the throat when asking questions. Whereas I will be a little gentler—when I have to be. So, I sat down with him to ask a few questions. I know you all are wondering at this point if he brought me a coffeepot. No, he did not. But we did each have a coffee while doing the interview. For me, an iced caramel macchiato. For Jason, dark roast with two Sweet’N Lows and a splash of sweet cream creamer.
Lonnie Doris (LD): Thank you, Jason, for sitting down with me. Over the course of the last few weeks, I have gotten to know you, and I want to thank you for opening up to me and Terri Anne. I know a lot of what you told us had to take you back to times in your life that were very painful. As I stated on our first phone call, I don’t condone you cheating, but I think this story got stretched way beyond the truth. So, with that being said, when did you catch wind that Candie’s post went viral and your personal indiscretions were being plastered all over the internet?
Jason Collier (JC): I started receiving messages on Facebook from my staff at the time, asking, What is going on? So, I checked Facebook and saw her original post. The next day, I saw all the social media posts. I went to work the day after that, worked about a half a day, got called into my boss’s office, and was placed on administrative leave.
LD: As the readers have read in Texted Lies, Whispered Truths, you have gone through a lot of emotional trauma in your life, leading up to the internet scandal in late January/early February, 2021. Did you ever seek out help with a licensed mental health counselor?
JC: With the trauma of my parents’ death, I dealt with it on my own. A friend of mine told me to just put it away, and so I did and just let other stuff pile on top. Even after the shooting, I just stuffed it away again.
A friend and coworker of mine saw I was struggling, and he went to my chief to help get me counseling. I saw that counselor for about seven months.
O and I went to a Christian marriage counseling couple. They weren’t licensed. They were through the church.
I would love to see somebody now, but at the moment, I don’t have any insurance.
LD: You mention in the book that you were a momma’s boy. What would your mother say to you if she were still here to see what has happened?
JC: That’s a tough one. Honestly, I think my mom would embrace me in a hug, tell me she loves me no matter what, but she would also look me in the eye and tell me she was disappointed. She would have told me she and my dad raised me better. And she expects better, but that she loves me, and we would cry together.
All my life, I was always scared of disappointing either of my parents, and I know this would have had her disappointed in me the most. Yet, I feel as if my mom would have been behind me every step of the way as my family and I struggle through this.
LD: After everything the two of you have gone through together, when exactly do you think things within your relationship with O changed the most to make you seek attention outside of the relationship?
JC: I think with everything held over my head, everything that happened with my daughter—and the perpetrator getting the attention for what he had done—I got tired of getting beat down. You can only get beat down for so long, and that’s when I decided to step out.
LD: Did the thought of divorce or separating from O ever cross your mind before joining the various dating sites? What stopped you from separating from her?
JC: A lot of the times when O and I would get into arguments, she threw out divorce as a threat. That always hurt. I would always tell her when we reconciled, we don’t use that word. She would agree. Then she’d do it again. She kept divorce forms on her computer, so I knew she could do it at any time.
What stopped me was that I loved her. I still love her. I don’t understand why—with everything we have put each other through, it makes no sense—but I love her still.
I knew what the final outcome would be. I guess my feelings for her are what stopped me.
LD: What made you decide to set
