Seeing them with their mates reminded him that…
Ka’Cit pushed the thoughts away.
This wasn’t the time.
As he held the human, her hair brushed against his mask and he found himself leaning farther into it as her body heaved against him.
“Calm down, ta’ii. I am here.”
The words felt strange coming from his mouth.
When had he ever…comforted anyone?
It wasn’t something he’d thought he’d even be capable of doing.
As he held the human, she seemed to calm a little, and it took a few moments before a low sound reached his ears.
It wasn’t the clanking of the ship’s engine, or any other sound coming from the ship for that matter.
…it was coming from him.
There was a hum in his throat, and as soon as he realized he was the source of the sound, his vocal chords stopped vibrating as he stared down at the human in his arms.
Just…what…what was he doing?
He didn’t hum lullabies. Not to mention this was a song he’d thought he’d long forgotten.
Her hands fisted in his clothes some more, tightening their hold, and it dawned on him that she wanted him to…continue?
How could he deny this strange female being?
Ka’Cit swallowed hard.
The song was a soothing sound—one his momor had hummed to him when he was a chid many, many eons ago.
That was probably why she was drawn to it.
The thought made him shift uncomfortably.
Okay…he could hum…if she needed it.
If it helped.
He released a slow breath through his nose.
He could hum the…lullaby.
Phek…
He was really going to do this.
The sound started off hesitant in his throat but the more the seconds passed, the more he was able to do it and if he closed his eyes, he could probably pretend he wasn’t doing so many things so uncharacteristic of him.
But, as the song flowed from his memory into his vocal chords, he watched her. He couldn’t pull his gaze away.
Not now, especially in this strange situation they’d found themselves in.
Her body was tense and her eyebrows remained knitted, but her breathing was stabilizing.
He was sure.
Every breath she took caused her small frame to rise and fall against his, and it was definitely getting a more even rhythm.
A few moments before, it had sounded like every breath was raking against her windpipe.
Now, every breath was a deep inhale followed by an even deeper, smooth exhale.
That alone urged him to continue even though with each note, memories he’d locked away came flooding back.
Memories of when he’d been innocent.
Memories of times past.
The Before.
Before he’d had to run away.
It was hard keeping above the surface of those memories and he fought to concentrate, choosing the present lest he get locked into the past.
The human.
Focus on the human.
She needs you.
Slowly, the human’s body stopped heaving as much and he began to prepare himself, erecting those mental walls, for when she awakened from her fit and threw herself away from him.
…But…she wasn’t letting him go.
Minutes passed and she still held on.
Not that he minded it, but now that they weren’t in direct danger and she seemed to be calming down, he could see that the way he was holding her was quite…intimate.
Her thighs straddled his and he was holding her against him, his arms wrapped around her, the roundness of her ass cheeks in his hands.
Her head was still against his chest, her face buried into him, and her hands were still fisted in the front of his tunic.
Phek.
This was not the time nor the place, but, along with the general trouble they were in, he seemed to have a problem brewing in his trousers as well.
Ka’Cit squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
It was a blessing his mask prevented him from sniffing her scent. His mask was already brushing against her strange hair, which stood up and away from her head instead of falling down her shoulders, and if it weren’t for the mask, his nose would be pressed into the curly strands.
He hadn’t intended it and he knew it was inappropriate, but this was intimate.
Looking down at her, it dawned on him that this was what his friends, Riv and Sohut, had.
Every. Single. Day.
Their mates were the same species as this female.
Did they fear the dark too?
Heights?
He imagined La-rehn shrieking and running toward Riv when she happened upon a random ladder on the Sanctuary grounds.
Did his friends’ mates seek comfort from them like this when they felt threatened or scared?
The question was easy to answer.
Of course, they did.
His friends got to hold their females and take pleasure knowing they drew strength from them.
And now—again, it was inappropriate for him to be thinking this, but…now he was this female’s strength.
It was a new feeling, one he’d never experienced before, and an ache developed within him that he knew far too well.
Not because he was envious of what his friends had…
No.
This ache was something else.
This ache was there because this was a part of life he, Ka’Cit, would never ever have.
And for good reason.
He had nothing to offer any deserving female.
He was cursed.
Bone Crusher wasn’t the only unwanted moniker he’d been given.
In other places, at another time, he’d been given another name.
He was Ka’Cit Urgmental, the Cursed, the Unwanted…the Smooth-Faced.
12
It felt like a long, long time before Nia was able to open her eyes.
As the minutes ticked by, the big, blue guy had held her close, allowing her to breathe through her panic attack.
She was still fighting with herself, telling herself that it was fine, that she wasn’t about to suffocate.
She knew it was an illogical response. She knew perfectly well that she wasn’t going to die…that there was enough air for her to breathe.
Still, she couldn’t stop herself.
She’d always suffered from claustrophobia.
It had haunted her most of her life and even now, it was still haunting her.
It was why she’d decided to become a nurse instead of doing what she’d wanted to do in the first place—join the army.
Her claustrophobia was a vulnerability, and in times like this, that was achingly obvious.
Imagine freezing up on the
