The holographic tilgran bobbed in the air above him and he knew he was getting some looks from the other shoppers.
The Bone Crusher, walking through the Exchange with a chid’s toy…
His reputation was probably being questioned—but the pure glee on Nee-ya’s face…Phek. It was worth it.
As he approached the hover car, though, his steps faltered a little and his life organ thudded in his chest. For the millionth time since they’d given V’Alen the package and headed back to the surface, he asked himself one question.
Could he really do what he was about to do?
The words of his momor came back to him.
In those last moments, before she’d smuggled him onto the ship, she’d said a few words that had stuck with him ever since.
“I’m letting you go because it is best for you.”
“But…Momor. I don’t want to go.”
“Sometimes, my dear Ka’Cit, you have to let go of the ones you love because it is better for them.”
And it was better for Nee-ya if he let her go.
Regardless if he loved her or not.
His heart shattered at the thought and he stopped walking.
He hadn’t known her for long but in the time he’d spent in her presence, he’d felt…happy.
Like…true happiness. Not the fleeting kind.
She matched his energy, she didn’t judge him, she was fierce and beautiful and AWESOME.
He could be himself around her.
His life-organ swelled and thumped as his body, unaware it seemed of the turmoil in his mind, got overly excited at the prospects—at the chance.
She was everything he wanted in a female.
Only, he wasn’t anything she deserved in a male.
A female like Nee-ya deserved a male that was as perfect as she was. And he was…broken.
Broken in many ways but this was one way he could not fix.
Forcing himself forward, he continued walking.
He almost couldn’t breathe by the time he reached the hover vehicle, choking on his emotions.
Wordlessly, he deactivated the energy protection and hopped into the vehicle.
Nee-ya’s eyes were still alight with excitement, her gaze on the holo-creature, completely unaware of the dark shadow over his thoughts.
“I saw you look at it when we passed. Thought…”
She was against him so fast, her arms around his neck and her body pressing against his.
He would never get used to this—this human tradition of body pressing.
And somewhere in the back of his mind the thought that he would never get the chance to do so flashed like a beacon.
In a few hours, he would have to say goodbye.
“You’re so sweet!”
He wasn’t sweet. His skin was quite bland-tasting.
“Thank you so much!”
She pressed her body against his tighter and he placed an arm around her, not having the will to push her away. And…not wanting to.
This entire time with her, he’d been thinking that she was going to break him apart from the inside out. And still, he couldn’t find the will to save either of them from it.
He hadn’t wanted to resist her.
He couldn’t have.
‘Did I choose the right one?” Ka’Cit dipped his head into her hair and inhaled deeply, wishing he wasn’t wearing his mask.
He wanted to experience every last second with her.
He wanted to absorb everything.
She eased back to look him in the eyes and Ka’Cit gulped as he watched her.
Beautiful.
She was perfect.
How the phek was he going to walk away?
Up to this point in his life, this was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, and he’d regularly put himself into some shitty situations.
“Yes.” She smiled and his gaze fell to the movement of her lips. He wanted to do that mouth tasting one last time, but…his mask.
Phek.
“It’s perfect.”
You’re perfect.
Nee-ya settled back on her side of the seat and Ka’Cit took a moment to watch as she interacted with the holo-creature, waving her hand through it and marveling at how the animal reacted as if it was being brushed.
There was a sound in the heavens that made her look up and her eyes grew wide.
“Is that…is that thunder?”
Ka’Cit lifted his gaze and spotted the dark cloud overhead.
“There will be life fluid soon. Falling.”
“Rain?” She sounded amazed. “Wow, I don’t think it’s rained since I’ve been on the Sanctuary.”
She was probably right.
The occurrence was rare but whenever it happened, the torrent was heavy.
“I have to take you home.” It felt like he’d said those words in that sequence too many times now. Almost as if he was trying to convince himself rather than notify her about something.
“I don’t know. That thing looks pretty angry. Think we’ll get there in time?”
Ka’Cit started the engine. “I’d wager you on that, but it would be unfair. You don’t know what this machine can do.”
A frown materialized on her brow almost immediately. “What more can it do?”
Ka’Cit chuckled.
“Hold tight, ta’ii.”
36
The hover car was moving so fast it felt as if everything around them was a blur.
She had no idea how he was even seeing where they were going, but he was focused and sure.
They were outrunning the rain!
It felt dangerous, wild, and free.
As soon as they made it on the plain leading back to the Sanctuary, she let out a whoop of delight as the hover car swooshed over the tall yellow-orange grass.
Ka’Cit glanced her way, concern in his eyes, but his gaze softened immediately when he saw that she wasn’t terrified but that she was…happy.
And she was happy.
For the first time in a long while, she was truly happy.
Holding on to the dashboard, Nia stood and threw her head back. The wind played in her hair and her cloak, and she closed her eyes for a moment.
For that moment, she opened herself and truly allowed herself to feel. But that only caused one thing.
The glee she’d just been feeling slowly died even as the hover car began to slow down.
Her eyes opened and she saw the familiar structures of Riv’s Sanctuary approaching.
Home.
Her gaze moved to Ka’Cit and he locked eyes with her.
“Home.” He echoed her thoughts.
“Yea,” she replied.
Fuck. There was that feeling again.
There was a look in his eyes, one that had been
