I wrack my brain to recall anything about her brother that might’ve slipped by me, but the only time she talked about Alejandro was when she told me he wasn’t at home when I brought her those earrings.
“Nathan, it wasn’t an easy topic to address. First, I didn’t even know whether it would make sense. We were just, you know…nothing serious.”
“Wait…are we serious now?”
Eva shifts her weight on her leg. “I don’t know. But we kissed.”
“Yes, we did.” I prohibit my brain from jumping back to the alluring image of pressing Eva’s lips to mine. I also ignore the joy that her words’ hidden meaning could unleash in me. I need to understand why she kept me in the dark. “So when were you planning on telling me?”
“Next time we meet. That’s what I meant when I told you I needed to confess something. That…and about my ex.”
Oh, I’d totally forgotten that. “What about your ex?”
Eva sighs. “Before judging me, please understand, I had no idea what kind of a man my ex was when we started seeing each other. I was young, and he was my first real boyfriend. As soon as I found out, I left him. I left San Sebastian to be as far away from him as possible.”
“Found out what?”
“That he sells drugs. And that he cheated on me more times than not.”
Eva’s ex is a drug dealer? And a cheater? Gosh, add in what I know of her biological father, and I can see why she had such a hard time trusting me in the beginning. “Was it your ex who got your brother in prison?”
Eva’s jaw tightens and she nods.
So her brother is a dealer, too? No, then he would have received a far longer sentence than three months, right? Be it as it may, I would have loved to know of this much sooner. “Eva, this isn’t information that you should have kept secret from me.”
Eva flinches and a spasm runs down her neck.
Seeing how hurt she is by my accusing tone, the irony of the situation slaps me in the face. Who am I to tell her off like this? Her brother might be an inmate and her ex a small-time criminal, but what I’m hiding from Eva is no better. If I’m honest, if I had known about her family’s entanglements sooner, I still wouldn’t have quit the bet. And not only because I’m determined to win. I rub her shoulders. “Sorry for being such a jerk. It’s obviously not the most casual conversation starter. Was your brother working for your ex?”
“No!” Eva shakes her head so vehemently that her long tresses cover her face almost entirely and tickle my fingers. “My brother used to look up to Fernando when we dated. They didn’t have contact after we split, but when Ale got older, he befriended Fernando’s gang without knowing they were involved with illegal stuff. Fernando asked my brother to deliver a package…and Ale was stupid enough to do it. He got busted. It was all my fault.”
“Your fault?”
Eva’s eyes fill with a painful, self-accusing glint. “Yes. I should have never left my family. If I’d stayed, Ale wouldn’t have ended up hanging out with Fernando and his pals. But above all, if I had only been honest with my brother…”
I can’t stand seeing Eva this distressed. Her trembling lips make my chest constrict with an impotent rage, and my hands roll into fists. I want to share my opinion of a man who not only betrayed Eva’s trust, but also got her brother convicted.
Eva swallows twice. “Do you know why Ale didn’t rat out my ex to the police or to us, his family? He thought it was an honest mistake, that there must be an explanation for why the package he was carrying contained a large stash of hashish, instead of documents. So he didn’t want to get Fernando in trouble.”
“Young boys are often trustful of their role models,” I murmur. “Unable to see them for what they are. Their shortcomings are invisible through the lens of admiration.” As I say these words, I remember what Marjorie told me several times about Father not being the man I thought he was. Could it be that I had also idealized Father’s actions and his zeal to succeed at work, while refusing to see his lack of affection and dedication to his loved ones?
Eva clicks her tongue and the sound echoes in the silence between us. “Yes. Perhaps part of it was Ale’s young and trustful heart, but the large chunk is on me. I kept him and my other siblings in the dark about why I ended things with my ex. Only Abuelita knew.”
“Why?”
“Shame, Nathan. Pure shame. I didn’t want them to learn that their older sister has been such a nitwit. After his first month in jail, Ale finally decided to trust me with his truth, and I also shared mine with him. He never blamed me, even after learning that I lied to him. But there is not one day where I don’t blame myself for his misfortune. My only excuse is that I never thought Fernando would mingle with my brother once I left town. But it’s no consolation when I think that my brother will live his life with a criminal record.”
“I’m sorry.”
Eva’s gaze darkens. “So you see, I didn’t tell you because…” She shrugs. “I don’t know. I think I wasn’t sure how you would react.” Eva buries her face into her hands. “Oh, I’m such an awful sister…I behaved as if I were ashamed of Ale. But I’m not. I’m only ashamed of myself. I just didn’t want you…didn’t want you to stop…wntsssmee” Her last word is muffled by a big sob, but I understand the meaning all the same.
She didn’t want me to stop wanting to see her!
