Eva tilts her head, her expression less stony and more reasonable than before. Her arms move across her chest. She hugs herself as if she’s trying to build up a shield against my truth, but in her eyes, I see that she can’t. My words are getting through her barrier all the same.
That’s when I know that I need to keep going and not stop till I’ve told her everything. Till I make her interested enough to know what I did for her and for me. For us.
Because I’m letting myself hope there might be an us.
Chapter 40
(Eva)
My heart is beating in my throat as I stare into Nathan’s grey gaze. I’m confused and don’t know what to feel or believe. Could this be true? Could Nathan love me? The honest glint in his eyes and the throaty fervor in his voice speak to this truth. But so did many of his previous gestures before I discovered he had been betting about me with his brother.
Nathan draws in a sharp breath. “There’s still something else you need to know. I didn’t just fail the bet. I consciously decided that I wanted something more than the original prize.”
He bends closer and the weak barrier of my crossed arms isn’t enough to keep my hammering chest at bay. When I feel the heat emanating from him, I lick my lips. “And what is it that you want more?”
“The thing I want, not more, but the most in this world, is you, Eva. I want you to be happy, and if possible, I want your happiness to be shared with me.”
My lower lip twitches and I gasp. “Nathan…I can’t…you hurt me so much…I can’t…”
But the protest I manage to utter is partly a charade. A part of me, the larger chunk unfortunately, is already hopping in a celebratory dance at Nathan’s words.
Nathan must’ve decided to take no prisoners, because he continues to reveal his motivations. Each word bores into my already staggering protection. “Thanks to you, Eva, I realized that becoming leader of the family’s company right now would turn me into a man like my father was. He always cared more about the company than about anyone around him. I used to believe that this made him strong and focused. A real businessman. But I was wrong, Eva. So very wrong.”
He reaches out and brushes back my hair.
I know I should move back, but I can’t seem to. It’s not possible to curb my primordial instinct to respond to Nathan any longer. My arms move on their own without permission from my cautious brain. My hands seize his, and I lock my gaze with his. “Nathan, are you sure of all this? A man with your ambitious drive stepping back from a promotion you spent years chasing?”
Nathan smiles and inches even closer. His breath caresses my cheeks. “That’s the thing, Eva. I don’t feel like I’m stepping back. I feel like a chrysalis who always believed he was destined to be a bee but through love discovered he is a butterfly.”
A bemused snort escapes my throat. “This is a metaphor worthy of Pablo Neruda. But I believe it should be a caterpillar.”
“Probably.” He grins. “I’m a bad poet. But it’s true. This trainee program I invited Alejandro to participate in is my idea. It’s a great opportunity for AMEA, but it’s also a chance for me to bring together a long-forgotten passion I had about becoming a teacher while staying with what I know best, which is our business.”
“Teaching?” I recall mentioning this career path to Nathan after he molded Juan’s resistance and him laughing at me.
“Yes.” He winks. “You see, you recognized things about me sooner than I, myself, did.”
“So, does this mean that Fresh Start actually exists?”
“Of course. And Alejandro will be in it, if he wants it. And if you allow him to.”
I can’t wrap my head around it all. I came here determined to extinguish Nathan from my heart. But whatever is happening here, is having the exact opposite effect. My body is numb except those few patches of skin where our fingers touch. As if all my other sensory receptors shut down to focus only on him. His words, his eyes, his breath…
If I’m honest, I’ve never felt this strongly about him before. And I know it’s because I’m starting to believe him.
Again.
Am I committing an error?
As if Nathan can read my soul, he murmurs softly, “I know I’ve made a mistake. No, many, many mistakes. Gigantic ones. I lied to you, I didn’t recognize what I felt for you quickly enough, and when I finally did, I was stupid enough to cover up my feelings about you while still blinded by my hope of becoming CEO.”
As he lists his deeds, I should get angry. These are the facts that made me promise he wouldn’t have a place in my life anymore. But, instead, I get it. I get him. I can see why he did what he did and that he feels awful about it. It doesn’t make it okay, but it certainly takes away my rage and bitterness. And with those gone, it becomes increasingly difficult to ignore the sweetness spreading through me.
Nathan squeezes my hands. “I love you. And I’m here to make my previous actions right. I don’t care how long it takes. If you only give me the benefit of the doubt…I’ll prove it to you. You’re everything to me. Can you do this, Eva? Can you give me another chance?”
This is the moment I have
