“We are not—”
“Why does everyone always say that of course you are. The market value of your company is assessed at one hundred and seventy million euros. I will give you one hundred seventy-five million euros today consider the extra like a personal tip.”
“No this is absurd. Absolutely absurd. No one does business in this—”
“Two hundred and twenty-five million.”
What?
“I have increased my offer by fifty million euros I am in a hurry. Also I am a little freaked-out by how inexpensive banks are they should be way more expensive than this that is just common sense. But I looked on the Internet and everything there is true. Yes or no will be fine ideally yes everyone will be happier.”
“I do not—you are rude.”
“I am energetic.”
“You are rude.”
“I am just in a hurry I wish to spare you some upset and tribulation is all. Take the money it’ll be great.”
“I do not want it.”
“That is not relevant this is capitalism Mr. Eiger it is the apotheosis of the system of the world. It is the precise statement of your country’s ferocious ethos of independence and business. This is your moment sir you can do anything from here. Found a new company in competition with your old one if you wish there will be no prohibition on such behavior. Go white water rafting with a trio of exotic dancers and fall asleep under Mexican stars. Buy an island I know of a very nice one I was thinking it would be ideal for me but for you Mr. Eiger I will step back. The world is your oyster sir it is the overpriced delicacy of your choice. It is your foie gras your caviar your fermented snake.”
“Who eats—no that is not important—”
“Mexican stars Mr. Eiger.”
“This also I do not want I am nearly seventy I am respectable—”
“That in my experience is not a bar but you know—”
“Mr. Hecht!”
“Mr. Eiger—”
“MR. HECHT—”
“Mr. Eiger no. I am speaking now. I will listen in a moment.”
“…Very well. Proceed.”
“I am interested in your company for reasons. By this time in one month you will no longer have it. You can sell it to me or it will cease to exist as a functional entity, that is not a threat it is simply business. I have a priority the priority requires that I have control of your company, if I cannot have it as part of a willing trade for money I must take it that is all sir it is a matter between entities and you and I are just talking heads on sticks. You sound like nice people you got all kinds of upright and spine and so but that—that does not change things between us Mr. Eiger I reiterate just take the money and everyone will be happier.”
“You sound almost regretful Mr. Hecht. Why is that?”
“I’m a person getting along in the world Mr. Eiger and sometimes I feel the urge to do something nice for someone I have never met. I despise vandals Mr. Eiger and you have made something beautiful there. I do not wish to break it for no good reason that is the act of a barbarian sir.”
“That is helpful thank you.”
“Oh good so shall we do the deal and go eat?”
“Mr. Hecht I will speak clearly because I see this line is secure. You will not have my company and if you try to take it I will make you sorry you were born.”
“Oh okay.”
“I am glad that you understand.”
“It is the wrong answer.”
“It is not.”
“Have your people do a little research. My company is the AAA Aarhus Holding Company it is not the school of architecture it is a business registered in Panama but you would not believe how pissy those architects can be.”
“That is the Danish Mr. Hecht they have a strong sense of self and their own importance you do not want to deal with those people.”
“Indeed not Mr. Eiger I am dealing with you. I feel that we are right now bonding over the obduracy of Danes.”
“Mr. Hecht there will be no deal.”
“Look me up.”
“It would make no difference if I did.”
“I feel confident that it would.”
“Your confidence is as in other areas misplaced. I also despise vandals Mr. Hecht and I feel that you are one such.”
“Well now that is just personally hurtful sir I am a man in the system of the world is all.”
“Then let the wheels of that system carry you away from what is mine. That would be best.”
“I counsel you strongly to consider it Mr. Eiger. I will leave the offer on the table until tomorrow.”
“I advise you not to pursue this Mr. Hecht.”
“I was going to make you massively rich Mr. Eiger.”
“I am rich Mr. Hecht.”
“No sir. You are merely vested with money at this time and that is not the same. Your wealth is contingent on many factors.”
“Such as?”
“Such as me Mr. Eiger. Such as me.”
—
I wait and I wait and in the meantime I go online and read Mr. Eiger’s website and his brochure. I am just full of respect for everything he has achieved I mean this guy. French Foreign Legion in all kinds of hot situations such as the DijonAir hijacking before I was even out of school, comes home and you can see right off he believes more than anything in stability. He believes in stability so much that he builds himself a business that is all about making a hard foundation in the world. He literally carves out a place for himself I mean that is fucking poetic. There are pictures of him looking patrician and hard-ass in the brochure with all the big doors of his bank like big round space doors in big round door frames set into the rock. He has on a blue suit with a little blue flower in the lapel and he is hella good-looking for a guy his age. The Kircheisen Festung is a statement of permanence and I can completely see how he would not want to give it up but but BUT sentiment has no place in business. Business is not
