“And you?” Laura asks again, and I know she’s just trying to instigate.
I gave her and Nate the download, or part of it, on what happened on Thanksgiving and then right before the winter holidays. I’ve been keeping a lot from them, partially because I haven’t yet sorted it out in my head. They all but freaked when I revealed just what was going on, and that I finally confessed to finding Sawyer’s pros and cons list.
It’s like an electric current hits me square in the chest, that’s how I know he’s just entered the room. Sawyer is standing across the party, looking like sin in black jeans that mold over his thighs and a black long-sleeve that forms to his biceps and pecs. His hair is slicked back with some kind of gel, and I watch as the dimple in his cheek pops out as he laughs at something Glavin said.
Seeing him makes my inside go fuzzy, and my heart heats even more than it did with that last shot of Jose Cuervo.
We haven’t seen each other since school let out for break, about a week after he promised to undo all of the wrongs while we heatedly spoke just outside the business our dads share. I’ve missed him, which is strange. It’s been years of us not talking and actively doing things to spite each other. Of course, beneath that animosity there was underlying pain and yearning, but I never let myself admit it.
Now that Sawyer has opened the can of worms, and promised to get us back to where we once were, and maybe more, I find that I ache for him. There seems to be a deep cavern that’s opened up inside me, and the only thing that can fill it is time spent with Sawyer.
As if on cue, his head turns and finds me, our gazes colliding. I swear to God, it feels like an inferno just started in this room. He tilts his head toward a hallway, one that looks dark and unoccupied, and without another word to my friends, I take off in that direction.
“Oh, okay, I see how it is.” Nate chuckles at my back as I seek out Sawyer.
It could be the liquor, it could be his impassioned speech on Main Street, or it could be that my view was changed yet again by another trip to Haiti. But something in me has let a lot of the pain and animosity go where it concerns Sawyer.
We reach the opening to the hallway at the same time, and I notice that we’re alone and out of view over here. This doesn’t feel like homecoming, where we were dancing out of view because he didn’t want anyone to see us. This feels … necessary. Like we need to be alone with each other, not out of the public eye.
“Hi.” I breathe, looking up into his eyes.
Sawyer searches my face and steps in closer, his big body dwarfing mine. My heart skitters to a halt and then beats so rapidly I practically feel it in my throat.
“I’m not waiting until midnight.”
And before I can ask what he means, his mouth is engulfing mine.
It only takes me a second to respond, my arms winding around his neck and my body pressing flush to his. The kiss seems endless, sucking every ounce of attention from me and focusing it solely on Sawyer and his lips. Friction builds in between my thighs, so intense a pressure that I feel the need to arch my back and press my core into him.
He’s practically lifting me off my feet, and our bodies are nearly suctioned together. There is so much heat I might just ignite. It’s as if we’re about to knowingly jump right off the edge of a cliff, and both of us are excited to do that.
“You drive me crazy.” Sawyer breaks the kiss, growling a low and seductive noise.
“I know what you mean.” I don’t even sound like myself, I’m so breathy.
“Come with me?” he asks, lacing his fingers in mine.
Somewhere behind us, the countdown to the ball drop begins. We’re going to miss it, but there is nowhere else I’d rather be than wherever he’s about to take me.
“Anywhere,” I tell him.
Before Sawyer takes my hand and pulls me completely out of view of the living room, I watch as Matt bends his head to Laura’s. Well, I guess she got her New Year’s wish. I just hope it doesn’t end up burning her.
And I hope whatever is about to happen doesn’t end up burning me.
In all of my encounters with boys, I’ve been reserved. I’ve held back, I wasn’t into it, or maybe, they just weren’t it.
Nothing about this seems fast, even though it is. Nothing about this seems impulsive, even though it might be. Tonight, I may just give myself to Sawyer in the most intimate way possible.
Everything about it feels right, there is no uncertainty in my mind or in my heart.
I just hope that doesn’t come back to burn everything down around me.
25
Sawyer
My heart is going to give out.
No, truly, it’s beating too fast and I can’t seem to catch a breath. Blair, Blair, is half-naked beneath me and I think I might just faint on top of her.
Jeez, I need to get it together. I can’t pass out, not when I want to touch and taste every part of her. She deserves to be worshipped right now, but it’s like my body, mind, and heart are in disbelief that this is finally happening.
“I’ve waited a lifetime for this.” I groan, coming down on her as her legs wrap around my waist.
I led us into one of the bedrooms in Hailey’s lake house after I nearly took Blair right there in the hallway. Not exactly the place I thought we would first … well, I’m not exactly sure how far we’ll go here, but I
