“Yeah, she does,” I said dryly. “And it’s starting to make me feel like I’m a pushover, and that’s not what I am.”
“Of course, you’re not,” Elise said, frowning. “You knew what you wanted, and that’s fine. She’s just trying to rewrite history, and that’s not the way things work.”
“I don’t know. But I’m kind of done letting her take up real estate in my head. You know?”
“Exactly,” Mackenzie said.
“What are you all talking about in here?” Sanders asked, strutting in. He had a beer in his hand and handed another to me. I accepted it, even if I hadn’t been sure I wanted one.
“I wasn’t sure what you wanted, Elise, I’m sorry,” Sanders said.
“I’m fine for the night,” Elise said. “But thank you.”
He kissed Mackenzie on the top of her head, and she smiled up at him warmly, pure bliss on her face. The two of them seemed great. They got one another and were happy. It was odd to me to think that you could find happiness so young and make it work. But then again, maybe you could. They had.
I did my best not to look at Elise just then, not with where my thoughts were headed. It would be a little too weird if I did. Not when I was trying to formulate my thoughts.
Mackenzie perked up. “Oh, by the way, if you guys happen to hear of a house looking for roommates, let me know. I’m trying to find an apartment or at least something to live in for the next year. My roommates are all seniors and are graduating. I should’ve been fine, but now they’re changing up the lease where I’m currently living and doubling the rent. It’s a little ridiculous.”
I winced. “That sucks.” I looked up at Sanders, but Mackenzie gave me a slight shake of her head.
I wasn’t going to ask, and I didn’t even know if we were ready to have a woman live with us, but if her living with Sanders wasn’t a good idea, I wasn’t going to step in the middle of that. Plus, it wasn’t even my place.
“If I hear of something, I’ll let you know,” Elise said. “It’s too bad that we only have a four-bedroom,” she said.
“I know. I get along with all of you so well, but I think having five of us in your house might be a little too much.”
Elise laughed. “Sadly, yes. Because then you’d have to have a bunk bed with one of us, and that’s not exactly what we want.”
“So, what are we talking about?” Pacey asked, Tanner and Miles behind him.
“Just living situations and life,” Sanders said. “Anyway, good party tonight.”
I shrugged. “It was okay.”
Sanders sighed. “School’s tough, and everyone’s stressed out. They’re either lashing out or hooking up. Pretty much the norm.”
Elise snorted, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “Pretty much.”
She and Mackenzie started talking, as did the guys. I just looked around and figured that maybe I had found part of my place. Part of what I needed.
I hadn’t expected them or this, and I still wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I would find my way. I had to.
I didn’t want to become the person that Mandy thought I was.
And that meant I couldn’t hurt Elise. I couldn’t hurt my friends.
Somehow, I had to find a way to keep that promise.
Chapter 12
Elise
Me: I’m so not in the mood to go tonight.
Dillon: Just don’t let your parents see these texts.
I cringed.
Me: Dear God. I would never hear the end of it. But no, I will not let my parents see these texts. They will never know.
Dillon: That’s good. But I hope it’s not that bad. It’s just dinner, right?
I wasn’t exactly sure how to explain a lifetime of failing to live up to my parents’ expectations in a text. Dillon had gone through hell, literally in some cases, and had come out stronger. My petty grievances with how my family treated me weren’t even in the same realm. I didn’t know how to complain about my family without sounding like a petulant child. And maybe that was an answer in itself. That it was just hard to stand up to people who didn’t see me as an adult and who had never truly understood my choices.
Dillon: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to trivialize anything you’re going through.
I let out a soft smile and shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. I didn’t understand how he came to understand me so quickly, how he understood everything so quickly. It wasn’t as if we’d been together long. It had only been a couple of months at this point, yet he knew how to calm me down when things got a little weird or complicated. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I hadn’t expected Dillon Connolly. Therefore, I had no idea what to expect next.
Me: My parents, hopefully, will be satisfied with merely dinner.
I sidetracked, but I knew he’d let me be. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel anyway. Not when it came to school, or Dillon, or going home to people who still saw me as the perfect thirteen-year-old they could mold into their ambitions.
Or maybe I was just thinking a little too hard about all of it and layering where nothing existed at all.
Dillon: Have fun. Text me when you’re done. You’re sitting in their driveway, aren’t you?
I cringed.
Me: Yes, but with the way the driveway is, you can’t see. They don’t know I’m creeping here.
Dillon: They probably know.
Me: Thanks. I’ll see you soon.
Dillon: I hope so.
I blushed, but did my best to push thoughts of Dillion from my mind. I needed to focus on my parents and this dinner. I loved them; I really did. They just expected so much from me and sometimes I had to wonder about the reasons behind their visions for my life and why their intensity
