“Do you love him?” Michael asked her, his nostrils flaring.
“Sweetie, I…”
“Because he loves you. Or so he says. But we both know he’s full of shit.”
He loved her? Mia’s hands started to shake. When she looked at Cam she could see it. The softness, the light shining out of him. A tiny gasp left her lips.
He loved her. Oh god, she loved him, too.
“That isn’t any of your business,” she told Michael. There was no way she was going to declare her feelings here and now.
“But you love me, right?” His lip trembled.
“Of course I do.” She stroked his hair, but he recoiled from her. “So much.”
“If you love me, you’ll stop seeing him. Right now. Tell him it’s over.”
His words felt like a mack truck hitting her head on. She turned to her son. He was staring at her with a question in his eyes. Did she love him enough to make Cam leave?
Or was she going to turn out like Niall, and put her love life before her children? There was no question about her choice, but it hurt so damn much. She inhaled raggedly, looking at both the boy and the man she loved.
“Cam…” She tried to find the words, but her brain was a mess of emotions.
“It’s okay,” Cam said, his voice cracking. “I’m leaving.”
That’s when the tears started rolling down her face.
“It can’t be over,” Joanna said, her voice low. “There has to be a way to make this work. Maybe give Michael some time. He’ll get used to having Cam around. You can’t sacrifice your happiness for your children.”
Mia squeezed her eyes closed. “Of course I can. That’s what moms do. And what’s the alternative? Be with Cam and break Michael’s trust in me forever? He already had one parent desert him, I can’t do the same.”
She leaned back on the bed, feeling light headed. The evening had been fraught, and more than once she’d thought she was going to throw up. Josh had been so upset when she’d walked back into the house, wanting to know why Michael was so angry and hated Cam. He’d cried as she explained it was an adult thing, but they all still loved Josh and that’s what mattered.
By the time he went to bed, he’d perked up a little. Hopefully by the morning he’d be back to his usual chirpy self.
Which was more than she could say for Michael. He barely spoke all evening. Didn’t eat his dinner, or hang around in the kitchen to do his homework. Instead, he’d disappeared to his room and told her to go away when she knocked.
Time. He needed time. Maybe that would help him get over this.
As for her? Everything inside of her felt broken. If you shook her, she’d rattle. The little shards of her heart that Cam had helped her glue back together had been crushed all over again.
“What about if you two cool it for now? Try again in a few months. Michael’s at such a difficult age.” Joanna was grasping at straws. “I mean, what if he does this to every guy you date? You’ll be a lonely old woman.”
“I don’t think I’m going to date again.” Mia’s voice was monotone. She couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be with anybody but Cam. He was the first man to make her feel alive. To make her feel like she could take on the world with him by her side.
The only man she cared about.
“Jo…” her voice cracked, a sob escaping her lips. Hot tears rolled down her face. “I’ve messed everything up. I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh sweetie. Just breathe. It’s okay,” Joanna crooned. “You haven’t messed anything up. This isn’t your fault. You’re allowed to fall in love. It’s what makes the world go around. One day, Michael will regret hurting you like this.”
Mia could taste the salt of her tears on her lips. “I never should’ve sent those flowers.”
“And Cam shouldn’t have let Michael in his house while they were there, but neither of you expected this to happen. I thought the flowers were a cute touch, for what it’s worth.” Joanna sighed. “I still don’t think you should give up.”
“What do you think I should do?” Mia asked, desperate for hope.
“You should ask him to wait for you.”
“No. I can’t do that.” Mia shook her head even though her cousin couldn’t see her. “I can’t leave him hanging when there’s a chance Michael won’t change his mind. It’s not fair on him.”
She could hear Joanna’s soft breathing echoing down the phone. “So you’re done?”
“I don’t know.” Mia pressed her hand to her brow, blinking back the tears. There was no other way. Not unless she wanted to alienate Michael forever. Her head was pounding like somebody was hitting it with a sledgehammer. “But I can’t hurt Michael any more than he’s been hurt. I don’t see us coming back from this.”
“Oh honey.”
“I know. I know.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cam pulled into the school parking lot and switched off the ignition, sighing loudly as he slumped in the driver’s seat. His head was pounding, and his eyes felt as dry as the Sahara, thanks to a night of sleeplessness. Instead he’d tossed and turned, thinking about the anger in Michael’s eyes, and the horror in Mia’s.
This was all his fault, and he had no idea how to make it better.
At midnight he’d tried calling her, but her phone was off. So he typed and deleted about a hundred different messages, before sending a simple ‘I’m sorry.’
And now he had to go in and coach the varsity team, and pretend that everything was okay. At least it wasn’t JV – so Michael wouldn’t be there. But he’d have to face him eventually.
Face the fact that the kid hated his guts.
It was stupid how much that hurt. But it was nowhere near as powerful as the excrutiating pain in his chest every time he thought of her.
Yesterday,
