The mixture of adrenaline and fear and relief made her body feel weak. Her legs shook as he held her tightly. “Guys, you want to go in and eat?” Cam asked, nodding at the brown bags in front of him.
“I’m starving,” Josh said. “What’s in there?”
“Burgers and fries from Logan’s place.” Cam was still holding her tight.
“Come on, Josh,” Michael said, sweeping the bags into his hands. “Let’s go in and eat.”
Mia heard the thump of their feet as they ran up the steps, then the click of the door as they walked inside. Cam didn’t loosen his hold on her for a moment. She was glad. Because right now she wasn’t sure her legs were strong enough to hold her up.
He tipped her chin up with his thumb, until her eyes connected with his. “What a fucking day.”
She laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. “Not exactly what I planned when I got up this morning.”
“I’m so sorry about Brian. I have no idea how he could’ve driven that far without realizing Josh was in the car.” He dropped his head until his brow touched hers. She could see herself reflected in his eyes. Could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheek.
“Becca says he plays his music loud.”
Cam chuckled. “Yeah, she knows him well. Where is he, anyway?”
“Sam took him inside. He needed the bathroom. I get the impression he was too scared to stop before he got here.”
“Damn right he was. He was on strict instructions to get here as quickly and as safely as possible.” Cam cupped her cheek with his rough hand. “When did you last eat?”
“I’ve no idea.” Mia frowned. “Yesterday maybe?”
“There’s a burger inside for you. You need to eat it now.”
“Can you just hold me for a moment?” she asked, closing her eyes. All day she’d been frantic. And even surrounded by police officers and friends and family, she’d felt so damn alone.
But right now she felt okay. Not perfect. Not yet. But pretty damn close.
“Thank you for coming,” she murmured.
“Wild horses couldn’t have kept me away. I’ve missed you, Mia.”
She exhaled softly. She could see the truth in his eyes, mixed with the pain of their separation. Had he felt it as much as she did?
“I’ve missed you, too, so much.”
“Now go eat.” He nodded at the door. “Before you faint.”
“Come in, too. You must be hungry.”
He glanced at the front door, then his gaze flickered back to hers. “I can’t. Not if I have to leave again.” The ghost of a smile passed his lips. “I don’t think my heart could take it.”
She knew all about hurt. About fear and pain. Not just from today, though that had been hard enough. But from life experiences. From losing and gaining and losing again.
But she couldn’t lose him this time.
“You won’t have to leave.” She traced her finger along his jaw. “Stay.”
“For how long?” Hope flickered in his eyes.
“For as long as you want.” She bit down a smile. “Or until Sam kicks you out.”
“And Michael?”
“We’ll talk to him. Together. That’s what I should have done from the start. I was too busy protecting him to think about how to deal with his reaction.”
“And I was too sure you’d be better off without me.”
Her fingertip brushed his bottom lip. “I’m so much better with you,” she admitted. “Not because I need you, but because I want you. I want you in our lives. I want to start living again, with you.”
“I want that, too. I want you. All of you. The boys, the craziness, all of it.” He brushed his lips against hers.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss, his hands holding her steady as she melted against him.
When she pulled away, she was breathless. Sliding her hand into his, she nodded at the door. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat.”
“I’m all for that.”
He was here. He wanted them all in his life. That was all she needed to know.
“Can we talk, man to man?” Michael asked Cam later, as he put their dirty plates into Sam’s old dishwasher. Mia had taken an exhausted Josh to bed, and was sitting upstairs with him until he fell asleep. Sam had taken the opportunity to head for the bar. Cam got the impression that all this angst was too much for the guy.
And now Michael was standing in front of him, twisting his arms as his gaze barely met Cam’s.
“Sure.” Cam closed up the dishwasher. “You want to do it here?”
“Can we go outside? It’s more private.”
Cam nodded. “Lead the way.”
The night air was cool as they walked onto the deck. Beneath the light of a single outside lamp, Cam could see that the wooden boards were slippery with moss. The table and chairs at the far end looked like they’d seen better days. Maybe in the 1970s. Michael leaned against the rail – which thankfully looked solid – and swallowed hard.
“I’m sorry for hitting you,” he said, his voice small. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” Cam wanted to tell him it didn’t hurt, but thought better of it.
“And for asking you to leave. I was angry and upset, but I shouldn’t have done that either. I just…” Michael shook his head, as though he couldn’t find the right words. “I guess nobody wants to think of their mom like that.”
“You shouldn’t have to. What happened between your mom and me should have stayed between us until she was ready to tell you. I messed up, too.” Cam ran his palm through his hair. “Neither of us meant to hurt you. But especially not your mom. None of this is her fault. She doesn’t deserve to be shouted at.”
Michael looked down at the ground, his expression guilty. “I’ve been an idiot.”
“We’ve all been idiots at one time or another. The secret is in how we move on from that.” Cam
