“My dad wasn’t really looking for us, right? Because he’s the opposite direction.”
He smiled sheepishly, “Must have been one of his brothers or something; I could swear it was him.”
The music shifted to a mopey, almost elevator rhythm. That damn ear-splitting voice announced it was time for dinner.
Freya shook her head, “We can order room service.”
The scent of prime rib wafted toward them, his stomach growling for something greasy to combat the awful cocktail that was tearing up his gut and making his head swim. “Let’s grab some of that, then we can go back upstairs.”
As they headed for the food line, another aunt found them. “Hi, Aunt Del,” Freya’s phony grin began anew.
“Freya, I can’t believe it’s you. I haven’t seen you since–”
Zane cleared his throat, “Wow, another aunt. Freya, how many aunts do you have? What a wonderful family.” He sucked at this sort of thing, but would figure something out to keep Freya from getting a cheek spasm with her overly cheerful smiles.
Del shifted her gaze toward him, her hair, as black and curly as Freya’s, whooshing from the movement. “Hello. You must be Freya’s…?”
Nice one. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Freya gulped the last of her drink and blurted out, “Friend.”
“How nice,” Del’s smile oozed with saccharine charm. Raising her eyebrows up and down lecherously, she leaned closer to Freya. “He’s very handsome. Tall and strapping young man you’ve got. Bette says she heard rumor he’s a Navy SEAL,” she whispered to Freya, as if he wouldn’t be able to hear if she spoke out of the corner of her mouth. Her eyebrows waggled up and down, “You know they write romance novels about those guys. How close are they to the truth?” Her eyes tactlessly drifted down and wandered over his package.
Holy shit, how much had she had to drink? She giggled, a hiccup following close behind.
Freya nodded, whispering back out of the corner of her mouth, joining her aunt at mentally undressing him. “They’re close, but, really, they underestimate the stamina and dick-size.”
Del’s eyes widened and she looked constipated as she struggled to come up with a retort.
Zane’s breath rushed from his chest as he grasped what Freya had just said; he gulped as he struggled to adapt a poker face. Taking advantage of the pause, Freya smiled to Del, “Let’s try to catch up later.” She dragged Zane along as he gulped down the last of his odd beverage.
“What was that?” he muttered.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. For my bridal shower, crazy Aunt Del bought me one of those slutty teddy get-ups, all red and lacy, with a book of sex tips.”
“What?” his eyes crossed at the odd relationship. His family was crazy, but they never talked about things like sex.
“Seriously. She thought it was hilarious, as did half my other aunts, and they spent the rest of the evening acting like I was a virgin bride and telling me all about penises and orgasms and masturbation. I’ve spent the last decade trying to flush the vivid imagery from my brain.”
Appearing like a mirage, Tammy and Eamon appeared carrying two plates each. Tammy smiled softly, “By the time you two made it through all the aunts, the food would have been gone. Will you sit and eat with us?”
His stomach rumbled at the scent of food, fully rebelling at the sugar and bitter of that damn drink. Nodding, he accepted a plate and they found a table at the edge of the lawn overlooking the water. For a while, the four of them were alone, enjoying the momentary quiet, the rest of the crowd clustered around the buffet table.
As he was finishing up his salad, another aunt, Gloria, with her husband, appeared and joined them at their isolated table. This one wasn’t as bad. Gloria was Eamon’s spitting image, with the dark curly hair and deep blue eyes, the single dimple. Clearly this is the side Freya got her height and looks from. How many sisters did Eamon have, anyway?
They made small talk for a bit, commenting on the bride’s dress, the energy of the wedding party and their friends. They almost seemed normal.
Her aunt looked to Freya and asked, “How long have you two known each other?”
Chewing her salad for an eternity, Freya nodded as if the simple gesture would answer the question. Nope. Now all eyes stared at the two of them.
Zane took this one, his expression deadpan, “Feels like I’ve known her all my life.”
Hand to her heart, her aunt smiled, “That’s so sweet. Truly. Sometimes you can tell when things are right.” She looked around conspiratorially, “Not to judge, but maybe Lulu should have had the guts to get the hell out before the ceremony like Freya did.”
Tammy slapped her knee she laughed so hard. “You said it, not me. But you’re absolutely right.”
She sipped on a glass of water. Where had she found water? Gloria added to Freya, “I see Del found you. She still talks about how she saved you from a passionless marriage.”
Freya cringed, nodding with her lips pursed tight in disgust.
Tammy rolled her eyes, “Oh boy. Did she say anything?”
Letting a giggle out, Freya bit her lip impishly, “She ogled Zane and pretty much asked what he’s like in the sack.”
Clearing his throat, Eamon looked out on the water. “So, Oliver, you been out fishing yet?”
Oliver winked at his wife before responding. “Not yet. We should buzz over to Joe’s and take him out with us. When do you fly out?”
“Not until late tomorrow.”
A server came around and set a plate of cupcakes on their table. Zane grabbed one and finished it off
