“Oh, that. He’s playing a joke on me. Trust me, I’m available.” I stop. That sounded way too needy. “I just meant you don’t have to worry about him. I don’t like him.”
“Why would he play a joke on you?”
“Because he’s a jerk. He likes playing games. I don’t know. The list is endless.”
“That’s weird.” He seems surprised and I wonder if he knows something about Casper that I don’t. “Want me to say something?”
“No, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry he’s being a dick to you.”
“Don’t be.”
“Do you wanna go out Friday night?” he asks.
I smile. “Yes.”
“Okay. Great. I’ll call you.” He gives a meek smile that fills me with warmth.
I make it to the tail end of my class and the bell rings signaling lunchtime. I find Cherry in the line and walk up beside her. She gags at the soggy green beans and sighs.
“You know, you could always bring your lunch,” I tell her.
“Oh, hello, my crazy psychotic friend. How are you?” Her lips upturn into a wide smile. “Is your boyfriend okay?”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“If you say so. Seemed like you were making an emergency booty call.”
“Seriously?” I give her an annoyed look.
Cherry shrugs and carries her tray to the cashier. I follow her to a table and sit across from her.
“Aren’t you going to eat? I bet all that exercise—”
“Enough,” I cut her off sternly.
“Then tell me what the hell had you busting out of here like the place was on fire. And for Casper.”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“Hard to explain? You’re acting so weird ever since you started having dreams about Douchebag Casper.”
“Shh! Keep your voice down.”
“They’re dreams, Megan. They aren’t real. I mean, you dream about him getting shot and suddenly you have to go check on him? There’s something going on.”
“Nothing is going on.” I buried my face in my hands.
“Then help me understand, because honestly I feel like I’m losing you here. You’re my best friend, Megan. But lately, it’s like all you ever talk about is Casper. Very little about Vincent or anything else. I’d rather hear you bitch about your parents than hear about Casper.”
“These dreams are so real, Cherry. Like, they feel like they’re a part of me. Or something. I don’t know what it is.”
“Maybe you secretly want them to be real so you can be with Casper. I mean, I get why you’d want to hook up with him.”
“Can you please stop?”
“I didn’t mean that as a tease. I’m just saying, Dream Casper is all romantic and completely the opposite of the real Casper. I don’t want you to forget who he is and what he’s done to you and me and get involved with him so he can hurt you again. He’s only messing with you. You know that.”
“I’m not getting involved with him. I wish I knew why I’m having them.”
“Maybe see a shrink. I don’t know. Stop spending so much time dwelling over them. Seriously. It’s not healthy.”
“I’m trying. It’s hard when they consume my mind.”
She frowns. She’s right, but she doesn’t understand how it feels and I’m not sure I can explain it any better. “Then write about them. Get it out of your system. Maybe that’ll help.”
I have been. I nod, needing to change the subject because I don’t want to spend our lunch hour talking about Casper. “Vincent asked me out.”
“I knew it.” She squeals. “When are you going out?”
“Friday.”
“Omigod. I can’t wait.”
“You realize it’s my date, right?”
She waves her hand. “That doesn’t mean I can’t live vicariously through you.”
“You need a life.”
“Well, it seems as though you have two, so let me have one.” She bats her eyelashes.
She isn’t going to let it go.
“I’m kidding. Trying to lighten you up is all.”
“Thanks.”
The rest of the day, I worry that Casper’s told the entire school what I’ve done. But I hear nothing. I’m scared of Casper. Terrified of the fool I made of myself this morning and the rumors that are sure to follow. I want to avoid him at all costs. Maybe Cherry is right in that I shouldn’t focus on the dreams so much and think about Vincent instead. But that is harder than it seems. The dreams are so consuming. Why am I running for my life in them? I remember the dark figure walking toward me and I shudder. I can’t get it out of my head.
I come home, pull out my books, and open them. My eyes sweep over Casper’s note and I read it again. I focus on the words until they blur. Why is he playing with me? We never talk. I don’t understand his need to feel superior. I sigh and bury my head in my hands. What possessed me to run to Casper’s house like some crazed moron? What are the kids at school gonna say about me now? Being called an easy lay is bad enough and now this? Maybe I could be sick tomorrow.
The garage door jolts me back to reality and I wait for Ron to pass by my room.
“How was your day?” he asks, stopping in the doorway.
“It was fine,” I answer moodily, not looking up from pretending to do my homework. I’m not in the mood for pleasantries with him today.
“Well, aren’t you going to ask how my day was?” he huffs.
I sigh. “How was your day?”
“It was good. I think I got a deal with a large company,” he says and launches into some boring explanation of some account he can get, but I know it’s all talk. Like all the other times, he gloats about how much money he’ll make on an account, but there never is a follow-through. Suddenly, the company had issues, or
