A few minutes pass as we research in silence, except I’m so distracted by him sitting across from me and I find myself looking up and watching him every so often. The way he twirls his hair with his fingers or chews on his thumbnail. I want to take my hands and run them through his messy hair.
He looks up, catching me staring at him. I immediately avert his eyes and feel the heat rush to my cheeks.
“What?” he asks.
“Nothing.”
Several awkward seconds pass.
“Are you going to the prom?” I ask, trying to make small talk for some reason.
He flashes a wicked grin. I love it, but I hate it at the same time. “Why? Are you interested?”
I kick him in the shin under the table. Complete knee-jerk reaction.
“Ow!” he cries in a whisper as he rubs his leg. “What is your problem?”
“I’m trying to be nice.”
“Kicking me is your way of being nice?”
“I was trying to have a civilized conversation.”
Casper locks his eyes with mine and finally answers. “No. I’m not going.”
I’m actually surprised by his answer. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to. Why do you care?”
I shrug. “I find it odd that you’re not going.”
“Why should I? So, I can see the girl I love kiss and hang on some other guy? No thanks.”
My heart is pounding against my ribcage. “What did you say?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. I’ve gotta go make copies of this stuff,” he says without meeting my eyes. He gets up, taking a few books with him, and goes into the copy room. The door closes. He can’t be in love with me because we talked about this. What he feels for me isn’t real. It’s some side effect of the dreams. And I don’t feel the same no matter what I told Cherry. She was wrong.
I get up and make my way to the copy room. I open the door and let it close. “Casper.” I put my hand on his arm.
He turns and there’s a desperate yet painful look in his eyes that me makes my knees weak and I forget anything I thought about saying to him. His lips are on mine, his hands cradling my face. I should push him away, but my hands run through his blond hair and I’m drawing him closer. He kisses me with such a fervor that my back hits the wall with a thud. It’s the same passionate kiss as in my dreams and I’ve never felt anything like it. His lips move against mine, slower now, and I realize how much I love Casper Truitt.
His hands slide down and he presses his body against mine. I’m flying high as little pricks of excitement rush throughout me. My heart is throbbing, and I feel it all the way to my feet.
Casper pulls away and leans his forehead against mine. “Wow,” he breathes.
We are both breathing hard and still cling onto each other.
Then, it all comes crashing down on me. I kissed Casper. And I loved it. I cheated on Vincent. Tears prick in my eyes and I put my hands on Casper’s chest. He moves back.
“I’m so sorry,” he says. “This wasn’t your fault. Oh god I’m so sorry.”
“I-I.” I shake my head. I can’t seem to catch my breath as I dart for the door and run out, grabbing my things in the process. There’s an ache in my chest and I bury my face in my hands. What have I done? I promised Vincent that I am his. And he’s so afraid of something like this happening. What am I going to do?
“Megan, please,” I hear Casper’s voice behind me as I reach my car. “Wait. I love you.”
I freeze with my hand on the door handle. Did Casper Truitt say he loves me? I turn and meet his eyes. “How can you possibly love me when you know nothing about me?”
“That’s not true. I know a lot about you.”
“Like what?”
“You have incredibly controlling parents and you don’t like coffee but like the smell of it. You’re not a morning person. You like the smell of rain because it reminds you of being happy and you hate fire because it gives you a bad feeling. You cry when you hear a song that moves you. You like running barefoot in the grass.”
My heartbeat is so loud it’s throbbing in my ears. I can’t believe he knows all of this. How can he though?
He moves closer, his eyes pin to mine, which only makes me grip the handle behind me. “And I know what makes you shiver,” he whispers in my ear, making me tremble. “I know your favorite place to be kissed is the tiny spot behind your ear.” My breath hitches and he pulls back slightly. “I know these things because I know you. Whether the dreams mean anything or not, you’re still the same, Megan.”
I want to kiss him again and run my fingers through his hair. His eyes lure me closer, and I give in, pressing my lips to his. Heat reverberates throughout me. I am in love with him. His kiss is just as chaotic and passionate as mine. Months of tension between us release throughout our kiss.
I have to get out of here. No matter how much I want to stay. “Casper, I-I have to go,” I say pulling away, and averting his heavy gaze.
“Megan, I’m worried about you. Vincent is dangerous and you have to leave him. Not for me or anyone, but for yourself.”
I open the car door, sink into the seat behind the wheel, and close it. I take a deep breath when I’m out of his sight, but my I touch my tingling lips.
What am I
