The air left his lungs in a rush, as though he’d been punched in the gut. What was she saying? A new host for Alexandria?
A new Librarian.
For a moment, Owl could only reel, his head spinning. At first, his thoughts were little more than a hazy blur of fury. Him? Give up his Librarianship? Hand Alexandria over to someone else? She was his—and she’d been his for untold years. Who was Indira to tell him to give that up?
Only, she wasn’t, was she? She was just...offering. Extending the possibility.
Hot on the heels of the rage came a wave of something far too akin to relief. If he wasn’t the Librarian…It wouldn’t matter where he went. Who he associated with. He’d live out a normal human life, with normal human friends and the sun on his face. No more months of solitude, with only rude, self-absorbed guests or Alexandria’s ministrations for company.
He could do anything.
She can’t do any of it, his thoughts whispered, putting a damper on the whole line of thinking. She’s just trying to offer what she thinks you want. Don’t trust her. Don’t-
“How?” Owl said. The words echoed in his head, drowning out the voices that screamed to throw her out, to tell her to leave. “Something like that- How could you possibly-”
“I don’t know,” Indira said, holding her hands up at last. “I can’t promise anything, of course. But we want to help.”
Her words brought him screeching to a halt. Again, his eyes narrowed. “Why?”
She chuckled softly, her gaze softening. “It would be mutually beneficial, yes? You want your freedom, and we want to know more about the miracle you play guardian to. We can accomplish both at the same time, if we only work together.”
He stared. And then, slowly, he shook his head. “It’s impossible,” he whispered. “She’s not- She’s not something that can be understood with a bit of research, Indira. You could never- It’s impossible. I’d be giving up everything, and getting nothing back. I’m not an idiot.”
“That’s not so,” Indira said, and again she surged forward a step, only to stop when Owl backed away. Taking a deep breath, she folded her hands once more. “The Booklenders are an old organization,” she said, a tiny smile on her lips. “Ancient. We know things.”
“It doesn’t matter what you know, it won’t-”
“And we have connections still,” she said. “Connections who...are more knowledgeable in the inexpiable miracles of the world.” Her eyes twinkled in the dim glow of the lanterns. “It would be my utmost pleasure, Librarian, if we were able to use those connections together. To help both of us. Allow us to work on your behalf.”
Connections? Warning bells started clanging in his mind. The only sort of knowledge that would be relevant to Alexandria would be magic. Which meant that Indira had connections to mages.
A shiver rippled down his spine. It was the only thing that made sense. Mages...might be able to do it. The thing he’d never believed would be possible. The solution he’d disregarded for a hundred lifetimes spent among the books.
They might be able to find him a way out. But getting there meant risking everything.
The rafters creaked. Owl let his eyes flick up, remaining as motionless as ever. The candles overhead swayed gently in their fixtures, dribbling wax to the floor. Too often, they seemed to burn with a faint, unhealthy light.
She wasn’t happy. Not to the point of throwing a tantrum, but...he couldn’t deny that there was a sadness to the scene. A dim mood that somehow seemed rooted in more than just their conversation.
I’m sorry, he whispered silently. I wasn’t...I’m not trying to get rid of you. I’m not pawning you off anytime soon.
Even if he said as much, he couldn’t keep the thrill of interest from burning in his chest. Maybe she wouldn’t notice.
Maybe.
Interest or not, there was no getting around what Indira meant. “You want me to expose myself to you,” he said softly, letting his eyes drop back to meet Indira’s. “Outside. You want me to give up the mask.”
“I don’t see another way,” Indira said. “We’d seek to protect your identity as best we could. We’re not going public. But if we’re to get to the bottom of this, we have to be able to see you. To study Alexandria, and whatever it is that connects the two of you. We’d-”
“I’m sorry.”
Indira blinked, coming to a stop. “What?”
Owl took a deep breath. It sounded...well, as much as he didn’t fancy handing Alexandria over to a stranger, walking away from his legacy, the prospect of a normal life was more tempting than he really wanted to admit. But not if it meant exposing himself. If he agreed, if he took off the mask, somehow he knew it’d only be a matter of time before he woke up with Indira’s hands around his neck.
The fact Indira had played him once already only sealed the deal in his mind.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, clasping his hands like he’d become her mirror image. “That...goes too far. I have a responsibility. A duty. Even if it wasn’t one I chose, I…” He shook his head, smiling ruefully. “I cannot accept such an unpalatable proposal, guildmaster.”
Her face contorted, her brows drawing together. “But- Owl, if you’ll only-”
“I’ll need to put some thought into how guests should be handled moving forward,” Owl said, standing a little straighter. “The past few visits have shown there are some flaws in my screening process.”
“If you’ll only-”
“I’ll contact you again if the services of the guild should be required.” The words turned to ash in his mouth. Maybe it was too strong. Too bold.
But he needed her to know. To recognize how deep the knife her guild had driven into his side went.
She stared at him for a long moment, her dark eyes searching his mask. For a second, he thought she’d start to protest again. To try and convince him.
And then Indira bowed her head, tearing
