“Yeah, really seems that way. He’s, what, eighteen?”
“Seventeen, turning eighteen this year.”
“Jesus.” Unable to sit still, Noah began to pace again as the disbelief began to blend with anger. Then it finally got the better of him. “Why? Why did you never tell me? Did you hate me that much?”
“No.” I shot to my feet and stepped toward him. “I did want to tell you. I was going to. But when I went to see Harry to ask him where you were, he…”
Noah’s eyes narrowed and he closed the final few feet between us. “He what?”
I swallowed and lifted my head. I wasn’t going to run from this anymore. Jake knew everything, and now it was time Noah did too.
“He wouldn’t tell me. He didn’t want your family, the town, anyone to know about Jake—not even you. But that wasn’t going to stop me. I was determined to find you no matter what, and he knew it. Unfortunately, there was one thing he knew that would keep me quiet.”
“What?”
My mom’s face came to mind. Her smile, her laughter, her voice as she told me I’d make a wonderful mother no matter what, because I was strong—she’d made sure of that. And it was that strength I called on now as I retold one of my most painful memories.
My eyes blurred as I blinked up at him. “Shortly after you left, my mom was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. It was devastating. She got so sick so fast, and we struggled trying to make ends meet while she was in and out of treatment. Harry had somehow heard, of course, and when he found out about Jake, he offered to pay for her care—with one condition.”
“Your silence.”
I wrapped an arm around my waist and pressed my lips together, knowing if I spoke now, I would lose any hope I had of keeping it together.
“Laurel…”
My name in that deep, resonant voice made me look away, unable to bear the sympathy. I didn’t deserve Noah’s understanding—if anything, I deserved his anger and resentment. But right now, the truly good part of him was shining through, and was a stark reminder of just how different he was to the father who’d taken so much from him.
“Laurel,” Noah said again, then he took my hand and drew me to him. “I’m so sorry about your mom. I didn’t know.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. You weren’t here.”
“I wanted to be.” He cradled my face between his hands and swiped his thumbs over my damp cheeks. “You’ll never know how much. That morning of graduation, Harry called and told me that people around town had seen us at the hotel and were talking, and if I cared for you at all I would leave immediately and he would come and take you home, and make sure your mom knew nothing bad had happened between us. Call me naïve, but back then I still believed that part of my father was good, that he’d finally seen how much I loved you and he’d given up this stupid, old-fashioned way of thinking about who I had to marry and how I’d live my life… It wasn’t until I got home and saw my packed bags and the car waiting to take me to the airport that I realized how wrong I was.”
Noah took one of my curls between his fingers and stroked the soft strands.
“He had it all planned out from there. My schooling, my career, my future fucking wife. And he made it crystal clear that if I contacted you in any way he’d make your life a living hell. Seems like he did that anyway, goddamn bastard.”
I closed my eyes and finally let the tears slip free for all the years we’d lost, all the moments me, him, and Jake would never have, and for what? The selfish wants and desires of a monster. It wasn’t fair. None of this was.
Noah wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head, and the steady beat of his heart was like a balm to my soul.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I should’ve tried harder, should’ve found you after my mom—”
“Shh… This is on Harry, not you. Just let me hold you. Let me feel you in my arms, where you’ve always belonged.”
I tightened my arms around his waist and nestled into his embrace. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he shifted back and tipped my face up. The emotions in his eyes seemed to be warring with each other.
Anger, hope, pain, and desire. They were all there, and I wondered what it was he was looking for in mine.
“Does Jake know?”
I licked over my lower lip and nodded. “Yes. He worked it out on the weekend, at the baseball game.”
“So, the whole time I was in there he knew and was—”
“Checking you out? Yes. Did he grill you badly?”
Noah scoffed. “No. But I’m pretty sure he knew I was out of my depth.”
“He’s a smart kid.”
“Gets that from his mom, is my guess.”
My lips curved, and I suddenly felt…shy. “Or maybe his dad.”
Noah shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t feel particularly smart right now.”
He looked over my shoulder to the front door, then back to me.
“It didn’t even occur to me when you told me about him yesterday that…that—”
“He was yours? Why would it?”
“Because I know you. That bullshit one-night-stand crap Willa and Ryan spouted should’ve tipped me off.”
That made sense. Then something else occurred to me. “What did tip you off?”
“Ryan. He said that it was all just a rumor and told me to look closer, and then…”
“Then you did.”
Noah nodded. “And you’re sure no one else in my family knows?”
“Not as far as I know. Harry said I couldn’t tell anyone, and I can’t imagine your mom ignoring her own grandchild, can you?”
“No. I can’t. But I also can’t seem to
