I didn’t want to tell her that I was very limited on experience where benefits were involved. I was seventeen years old, and most girls my age were far more experienced than me.
I wasn’t ashamed of the fact, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel the slightest bit embarrassed and behind.
My only sexual experience had been awkward and unpleasurable, consisting of a boy’s hand down my pants who had no idea what he was doing.
I threw my towel at Allie’s head as my cheeks reddened. “I am not getting a friend with benefits.”
“Why not?” She laughed, and the way she smiled made it feel like the idea was the simplest thing to her. “You holding out for a hate fuck from Beck?”
My mouth dropped open, and she threw her head back in laughter. “I was just kidding.” She held up her hands. “Unless you are?”
I shook my head quickly, but I swear my stomach felt like there was a rubber band being pulled tightly inside it. I felt like it may snap at any moment.
“Oh my God. Are you a virgin?”
“Shh.” I leaned forward and slammed my hand down on her mouth.
“You are.” Her words were muffled around my hand, and her eyes bulged out of her face.
“Would you shut up?”
“No one else is here.” She waved around us, and I let go of her mouth. “The guys in the kitchen can’t hear a thing we say.”
I sat back down in my seat and grabbed a spoon. I stared down at the silver as I rubbed and rubbed with the towel in my hand.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’m just shocked.” Allie’s voice was so sincere, and I dropped the spoon in the bin before looking back up at her.
“I’m not embarrassed.” I totally was.
“You’re hot.” Allie laughed. “The boys in this town are going to be fighting over you before the school year even starts.”
I knew she was just trying to distract me from being embarrassed, but I still appreciated her compliment.
“I think I just need to stay away from all the boys in this town.” I laughed. “Apparently, they don’t like me.”
Allie grinned just as we heard a loud crash from the hallway before laughter rang out. Allie straightened her shirt as she stood, and I followed suit. It was probably one of the guys from the kitchen, but I didn’t want Jack to catch us sprawled out at one of the tables gabbing about boys.
“Shit.”
I looked around Allie just as Carson pushed through the door. He stumbled slightly, and it was clear that he was drunk.
“What are you doing here?” Allie’s voice was strained as she took the smallest step back.
“Allie!” He practically cheered her name just as Olly and Beck walked in behind him.
I held my breath as I watched him swagger into the room. He was grinning as his eyes met mine, and I knew he had to be intoxicated because the smile didn’t fall from his face.
“Well, looky here.” He pulled out a chair and sat down with his feet wide and his arms loose. He would look so at ease if it wasn’t for the way his jaw tightened.
I knew better than to trust any sort of calmness from him.
It almost scared me more. The way Beck was looking at me felt like the calm before the storm, and I didn’t want to get caught in his onslaught.
“We didn’t realize you guys were here.” Allie sounded so professional. “We’ll get out of your way.”
She reached for my hand, but Beck’s voice stopped us both.
“Stay.” He cocked his head just slightly, and I could feel him staring at me. “I already warned Josie once to not be here, but she didn’t listen.” My spine straightened and the urge to run from the room was overwhelming. “So stay. Finish your work.”
Allie turned to me, but I was still looking at him. I felt like he was a snake and I was his prey, and if I dared look away for even a second he would strike. If I dared to turn away from him, he would make me realize my mistake.
Allie moved back to the table, and the two of us started working again silently. Carson had a bottle of liquor in his hands, and he chugged from it before passing it to one of the others.
I wasn’t sure if this was normal behavior for them, but the way Allie sat with her back perfectly straight and her eyes constantly darting to them made me think it wasn’t.
The three of them laughed and talked as Allie and I finished up what we were doing, and it felt like it had been hours since they walked in the room. I knew it had only been minutes, but every second felt excruciatingly long as I watched him.
I had no idea what they were thinking, what their plan was tonight as they looked like they didn’t give a shit, but I knew that I didn’t trust a single one of them.
I stood with Allie and the two of us carried the bins of silverware over to the bar.
“Josie.” Beck’s voice was smooth and effortless, and my stomach fluttered at the sound. “Come here.”
Allie looked up at me, and I knew that she was willing to tell him to go to hell if I wanted her to, but part of me wanted to know what he wanted.
I wanted to end whatever game he was playing and just get it the hell over with.
I walked toward him, but every part of my body warned me to stop. My breathing was rushed, my hands shook, and I felt like every part of me knew that I should fear him.
“What?” I stopped several feet away from him and linked my fingers together in front of me.
“A little closer.” He crooked his finger as he bit down on his lip, and it was as if every
