He stepped back from me, the lost boy from moments before buried beneath the guy he was now, the guy he always was.
He stared down at me with clear disgust on his face, and I didn’t know if he was revolted by himself or by me. But I knew with certainty that the moment where he looked like he could possibly want more from me was gone.
He didn’t say another word as he turned from me and made his way back to where his friends still stood. They were watching us, they probably had been the whole time, and I suddenly wondered if they hated me too.
Allie had told me that the three of them were more like brothers than friends, and I could tell by the way they still had their eyes on me as they laughed at something someone said that they didn’t trust me.
But I didn’t trust them either.
I didn’t trust anyone who could allow their friend to be so cruel while they simply sat back and watched.
I lifted the shitty beer to my mouth, and I swallowed every drop as I stared back at them. I didn’t care that Clermont Bay was their kingdom. I refused to play by the rules of a few privileged boys who thought they ran everything.
They were madness, and I refused to be a pawn in their game. Whatever it was that they wanted from me, they would have to get it from somewhere else.
I could already feel the one beer buzzing through me, or maybe it was still the effect of having Beck so close, but I knew that it was a feeling I didn’t want to let go of. Not yet. I poured another beer from the keg, and I downed half of it before I managed to move my feet back to where Allie stood.
She was still talking cheerfully with some of her classmates, and she grinned as soon as I made my way to her side.
“What was that about?” She bumped my shoulder, and I knew she meant Beck. She was as shocked as I was by his behavior at the country club, but for some reason, I didn’t want to tell her the truth. At least not all of it.
Not the part where I stood there like a fool while I half-expected him to kiss me.
“I don’t know.” I shook my head and took another sip of the beer. “I think he might be insane.”
She laughed and crashed her cup into mine. A bit of beer spilled over the side, and I tried to relax. I could avoid Beck and his friends for the rest of the night. I was here to enjoy my night with Allie, and I was determined to do so.
Even if I could still feel him looking at me from across the bonfire.
“Here.” Allie handed me a small flask. “This will help you forget all about him.”
It was like she was reading my mind. I took a small sip from the flask, and I coughed as the rich liquor burned my throat.
It tasted worse than the beer. Allie grinned and patted my back.
I could feel the alcohol buzzing through me as the night went on, but I didn’t stop. Beck tracked my every movement, but I didn’t care. I laughed with Allie and made lots of new friends, even though I couldn’t remember their names, and I was pretty sure I barely even looked over at him or the girls who were vying for his attention.
I barely noticed the smirk on his face when he saw me watching him or the way that damn smirk made my stomach feel so tight that I couldn’t clear him from my thoughts.
I had no idea what time it was by the time Allie grabbed my arm in hers and giggled. It was beyond clear that the two of us would be Ubering home.
“Beck is looking at you again.” She rested her arms on my shoulders and looked behind me to where I knew he still stood.
“He can keep looking.” I actually sounded like I meant it.
“He looks like he wants to eat you alive.” She swayed slightly, and I barely managed to hold us both up as my thighs tightened. “It’s kind of hot.”
“It’s not hot.” I lied to both of us. “It’s neurotic.”
“Uh-huh.” She sounded like she didn’t believe me at all, and I didn’t blame her. I didn’t even sound believable to my own ears.
“Do you just want to stay the night at my place?” I didn’t want to go home alone tonight. I wasn’t sure if Lucas was even there, and I didn’t want to sit in my room and dissect every single moment I had with Beck.
“Sure. Your parents won’t care?”
My heart cracked open at her words. My mom would have cared. She would have given me a speech about responsibility while simultaneously trying to get any juicy details out of me about my night.
“No.” I shook my head and finished my beer. “My dad probably won’t even be there.”
“We need to call an Uber.” She poked the tip of my nose, and even though I wasn’t used to having such a close relationship with another girl, I felt so comfortable with Allie so quickly.
“I’ll give you all a ride.” I turned my head to the left, where Will stood now covered in a t-shirt. He had barely spoken to me since Beck interrupted us earlier, and he hadn’t looked at me the same.
I hated Beck even more for that.
“Thank you.” I had barely managed to speak the words before I felt him at my back.
“Allie, me and the boys will give you all a ride home.”
Allie smiled up at Beck as he spoke, and I tried to catch her eye. Tell him no.
But Allie wasn’t looking at me. She was staring up at him like he had just offered her the moon.
“Thanks, Beck. That would be amazing.”
I dared
