I smile big at him, and he smiles in return. And that shared smile makes me fall for him a little more.
An hour later, we’ve finished our sandwich and salads, and Pearl and I are still sitting at the table at Bela’s Bakery. We have laughed and had a good time. She’s told me stories about her pawn shop and liquor store. Outlandish stories that would make a good reality TV series. We’ve talked about my family and the farm. It seems we’ve talked about everything except Ozzie.
She reaches over and taps the table in front of me. “Don’t give up on him.”
I don’t even need to ask who she’s talking about. “Oh, well uh, we just met last night.” I try to play it off, but a part of me really wants to know more about Ozzie.
Pearl cocks her head to the side. “Do you like my son?”
“I like what I know of him. But he’s not interested—” I don’t even get to finish the sentence.
“Hogwash. He’s interested. I could tell by the way he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”
A part of me stirs, thinking that I was right, he does feel something for me, but I refuse to get my hopes up. “Yeah, well, he told me he’s not interested. I mean, more or less, that’s what he said.”
She nods knowingly. “You mean he gave you a spiel about him being on the right path and nothing’s going to get in his way, blah, blah, blah.”
I laugh and snort at the same time because obviously she knows her son well. That’s almost exactly what he said. “Uh, yeah.”
“Well, it’s a bunch of shi—crap.” She catches herself. She takes a deep breath, and her face becomes solemn. “Did he tell you he was in prison?”
I nod. “He did. I think he thought I wouldn’t want to get to know him after that—almost like he was trying to scare me off with it.”
She just shakes her head side to side. In less than an instant, with her face unguarded she looks as if she’s aged at least ten years. “Did he tell you what he was in for?”
I shake my head side to side but don’t say a word. It’s like a deep, dark secret that everyone knows but me and I keep silent, hoping she’s going to tell me. I feel bad, again like I’m talking about Ozzie behind his back, but I need to know. Not because I’m questioning if I’m still going to be interested in him or not. No, I’m wondering if it’s something that he’s going to be able to move past and trust that I still want him, even knowing it all.
“I raised my boys by myself. Ozzie is the oldest, and since I worked all the time, he had to take care of his brother a lot. It was more like he was his father than brother. Anyway, my youngest son, Kyle, got mixed into the wrong crowd. Doing things he shouldn’t. One night Ozzie went out to look for him. He came upon him in the middle of a drug deal, the cops showed up, and Ozzie claimed the drugs were his. There was so much Kyle was into, things we never even knew. And well, Ozzie went to prison for three years.”
I put my hand over my mouth. “Oh my God.”
She nods her head, her gaze almost vacant as if she’s living through it all again. “While Ozzie was in prison, Kyle got into drugs bad. He became someone I didn’t even know. The week before Ozzie got out, Kyle was high and tried to rob a bank. He’s over in Syn City at the penitentiary now. Ozzie blames himself for all of it, and he shouldn’t. I put all that responsibility on him, and I shouldn’t have.”
I reach over and cover her hand with mine. It sounds to me like she and Ozzie are dealing with a lot of guilt. “It’s not either of your fault. And I don’t know Kyle or anything about him, but I doubt he’d want either of you blaming yourselves.”
She turns her hand and clasps mine. “You’re right. I know that. And I’ll tell you like I’ve told Ozzie. It doesn’t sound good, but when you have kids of your own one day you’ll understand. I’m glad that Kyle is in prison. The drugs were going to kill him. At least in there, he’s alive.”
My mind starts to whirl thinking of Ozzie. Every scenario is in my head, and it’s only now that I have a better understanding of him. He has so much guilt he’s dealing with, and maybe he feels like he doesn’t deserve happiness. My heart hurts in my chest as I try to put myself in his place. I couldn’t imagine if my sister became addicted to drugs and was put in prison.
“So you see, Ozzie may try to push you away. Even though he likes you.” She holds her hands up when I try to interrupt her. “And don’t say he doesn’t like you. He does. All I’m asking is to give him a chance. And if you like him, like I think you do, don’t give up on him.”
What can I say? I thought before I even met his mom that I wanted him. Now I have even more of an insight of the type of man he is, and I want him even more. “I promise,” I tell her. I may not be convinced that he does want me, but I do know if he does, there won’t be anything stopping me from giving us a chance.
We laugh and joke some more, and Pearl seems even more carefree now. We make a
