She lets me up then and walks me to the door. I kiss her fast on the lips and then jog off the porch and to my car. I wave at her as I try to figure out what I’m going to do next.
8
Ginger
I wake up the next morning, stretching with a smile already on my face. Instead of hungover, I feel like I could go outside and run a mile up and down the farm’s driveway.
I shower and get ready for work and meet Honey at the produce stand.
“What are you smiling about? Or do I want to know?” she asks. “I’m sure it has something to do with Ozzie’s car parked outside your house last night.”
I just smirk at her. “Do I ask you about David’s motorcycle at your house at all hours of the night? No, I don’t.”
She blushes. “Fine.”
The morning goes by, and I don’t know how many times I almost call the Cherry Bomb. I want to talk to Ozzie. I want to talk to him about last night. Even though thinking about it right now, I’m a little embarrassed, I still have a deep longing to talk to him about it. I remember the promise I made him give me. He said he was going to come and see me today, so I keep reminding myself that I’ll see him at some point.
All I can do is hope it’s soon because after last night and what I let him do, I just need some idea of what he’s thinking.
Ozzie
Standing in the almost empty room, with only a desk and two chairs, I can feel the walls coming in on me. I’m here. Finally. I should have come to see my brother years ago, but it’s only now that I’m making myself do it. I can’t even imagine seeing my little brother, the boy that I’ve looked out for most of my life in an orange jumpsuit and inside these sterile walls, but it’s way past time.
The door opens noisily, and my brother and an officer walk into the room. “You’ve got ten minutes.”
My brother looks nothing like I remember. It’s been almost six years since I’ve seen him. He never came to see me the three years I was on the inside, and it’s been almost three that he’s been in here. “Hey, Kyle.”
We are standing tensely across from each other, neither one of us wanting to make the first move. “Hey, big brother,” he says.
I almost wince because his words only remind me that I haven’t been much of a big brother to him, not lately.
“How’s Mom?” he asks.
He takes a seat in a chair, and I walk around to sit across from him. I can’t get over how much he’s aged. The fine lines on his face and the cold look in his eyes almost makes me shiver. He’s definitely not the same kid that I used to ride bikes with up and down the neighborhood.
“She’s good. She misses you.”
He grunts. “Yeah, she misses me. The last time she was here, she said she was glad I was in here.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I can’t say I blame her. She said that when I was in jail you were on drugs really bad. She didn’t know what to do for you. She’s afraid if you were still on the outside you would’ve been dead by now, so yeah, I’d say she is happy you’re in here.”
“Can you just be my brother? For once in your life, can you quit trying to teach me something or reprimand me for whatever? Just be my brother.”
There’s so much anger in his voice. I know he blames me for a lot of his life. And I probably am at fault for a lot of things, but not for the reasons he thinks. “Anyway, I needed to come and apologize.”
His eyes finally meet mine. “Sorry, for what? For not coming to see me? Hell, Oz, if I just got out of prison, I wouldn’t want to come and see you behind bars either. You don’t have to apologize, I’m not mad about it.”
But I shake my head. “I’m not sorry for that. I had a lot to deal with. I’ve had a lot of guilt for things, but I have to learn to deal with it. The first thing I want to do is to apologize to you for taking the rap for that drug deal.”
He looks confused. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
“I mean, if I’d let you take the fall for it, let you be responsible for your life for once, then maybe you would have learned your lesson. Maybe you wouldn’t have spent the next three years looking for your next fix. You could have gotten your life on track. Instead, I took that from you. I took the blame, and you got yourself into worse trouble. I spent most of my life taking care of you, doing things for you, and that’s probably the worst thing I could have done.”
He stares at me for the longest time, and I wait for him to get up and leave. I know that’s not the apology he was expecting, but I know it’s the one I needed to give. Who knows if his life would have turned around if he had been held responsible for his past mistake? We’ll never know.
He leans forward on the table. “I get you, man. I know what you’re saying. It wasn’t your fault. I know you did it because you love me. I wish I could say I’d do the same for you, but I’m not a good man like you are, Oz.”
I interrupt him. He may have gotten off track, but he’s still a good man. “You are too.”
He shrugs. “We can agree to disagree. But I get what you’re saying. Ma’s worked hard with the attorney. They’re
