“So much time has passed that the very landscape here is different. And yet it still feels like I lost them yesterday.”
Maez gets to her feet, brushing dirt off her dress. “Grief is like that. I don’t think it ever truly leaves us. But if we’re lucky, it can become muted. It will always be there, Dragix, but your family wouldn’t want you to suffer like this.”
“I got to live.”
“Yes,” she says. “You got to live. It’s up to you what you do with that precious gift, but from the stories I’ve heard about your mother, she wouldn’t want you to waste it. She’d want you to make the most of the years you have.”
“I don’t know how.”
She gives me a sad smile. “You never mourned, did you? You grew from that tiny boy into a huge dragon, and you went almost feral so you wouldn’t have to think about what you lost.”
“It worked.”
“It did. But it was a temporary measure. How are you to move on if you never truly grieve?”
“I don’t want to move on.”
“Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting them. It means honoring their memories by living. By loving.”
My gaze has dropped to the cool dirt beneath my feet, but I raise them at that. Maez sighs at whatever she sees on my face.
“You have not left this mountain in days. This is the first time I have seen you in this form.” I shrug, and she sighs again. “There’s something you should know.”
Charlie
After the mating ceremony, I spent the night curled up in my kradi, clutching the last of Dragix’s scales to my chest and sobbing.
I wish I had spent less time comparing him to Ben. I wish I’d jumped him that night when we first kissed and I left, comparing him to my sociopath ex.
Dragix is nothing like Ben.
If he were, he never would’ve let me go.
All day, I kept glancing up at the sky, expecting to see his huge form coming closer and closer.
I kept expecting him to come for me. To announce that he would help us.
But it’s not going to happen, and I need to move on with my life.
I roll out of the furs and brush the tears off my face. I will get over this. I’m resilient as fuck. It’s one of my best qualities.
I need to get out of here. I need to go and do something. Yesterday’s trip to Khax’s tribe was a good distraction. Maybe I can find another way I can help that will also keep me busy.
I find Dexar and Rakiz arguing when I get to Rakiz’s tashiv. Nevada and Alexis are eating in the corner, watching the show with amused expressions.
Dexar throws up his hands, glowering at Rakiz. “You heard what he said when we rescued Ivy. It was a clear threat. What happens if he decides to kill you or hold you hostage?”
Rakiz raises one eyebrow. “I’m honored that you’re so concerned for my safety.”
Dexar is not amused. “And your pregnant mate? What happens when you don’t come back?”
Rakiz growls at that, taking a step toward Dexar. Behind them, Nevada shakes her head and tosses a handful of nuts in her mouth.
Alexis smirks. “If you guys are going to fight, can you at least take your shirts off first?”
They’re all insane.
Rakiz turns and glowers at Alexis, and Dexar tenses.
“Watch yourself,” he says very softly.
I step forward. “Uh, guys?”
Maybe I should’ve chosen a better time for this. Rakiz gives me an unfriendly look, and Nevada gets to her feet, stepping forward and elbowing him in the ribs.
“Ignore these barbarians,” she says. “What’s up, Charlie?”
“I was just wondering if I could help out at all. Do you need Vivian and I to travel to any other tribes?”
Dexar glances at Rakiz, and Rakiz shakes his head.
I frown. “What?”
“We’re currently talking about traveling across the water to speak to the king. However, we know nothing about him and therefore couldn’t guarantee your safety.”
Nevada tilts her head. “You know, Charlie and Vivian could be a good option. That guy was an asshole, but Braxians have a code of honor, right? He’s much less likely to be an asshole if two females go. If either of you guys go, it’s riskier.”
I nod. “Let me go. I’ll do it.”
Rakiz snorts. “And what happens when your dragon discovers we sent you into danger?”
My chest tightens, and I clench my fist, fighting the urge to rub at it. “Dragix won’t care. He left.” Dexar laughs at that, and I glower at him. “Either way, it’s my life. I don’t see him here. Do you?”
Alexis’s eyes shine with sympathy, and I glance away.
Rakiz turns to pace, sending me the occasional considering look. “We would have to send enough warriors with her to keep her safe without it looking like a show of force.”
Dexar lifts his shoulders in an elegant shrug and then moves to one of the chairs near the unlit fire, reaching out his hand to snag Alexis’s wrist and pulling her onto his lap.
I narrow my eyes at Rakiz. “Do you think this guy could help? Could he really make a difference if he showed up?”
Rakiz nods. “I know little about him, but even a hundred of his warriors could be all we need to wipe out our enemies.”
“Then it’s settled. I’m going.”
Rakiz frowns at that, and Nevada moves close, wrapping her arm around his waist. “It’s a good idea, Rakiz. You’re just mad ’cause you didn’t think of it,” she teases. He gives her an exasperated look but finally nods.
I let out a relieved sigh. I don’t know why I need to do this so badly. Maybe it’s because I spent so many weeks hiding out with Dragix while these guys were looking for me. Or maybe it’s because I’m hoping to replace thoughts of Dragix with the adrenaline I’ll feel on this mission.
Either way, it’s happening.
“Do you think Vivian will want to go with you?” Nevada asks.
I nod. “I’d be surprised if she didn’t.
