I throw up my hands. “Arix has been good to us. Better than good. He didn’t have to let us stay with him. We have our thruster fixed because of him.”
She rolls her eyes. “Get a grip, V. He didn’t do that out of the goodness of his heart. He did it because he wanted to fuck you. How are you not used to that by now?”
I flinch. “Regardless of why he did it, he doesn’t deserve to lose his throne.”
“And we didn’t deserve to lose our home! Do you honestly still think life is fair? Life sucks, Vivian! You can have your moral dilemma all you want, but it’s not going to change the fact we have thirty women depending on us to get that fucking ship in the air.”
I open my mouth, but she holds up her hand, her eyes burning.
“Those women had lives and families and homes that were ripped away from them. You may be getting starry-eyed over that man, but you know deep down he’s not going to lose any sleep when you leave. He’ll move straight on to the next woman, and the next after that. He’s broken, V.”
That’s it. The gloves are off. “You want to point fingers at Arix?” I laugh coldly. “You’re willing to betray anyone to get what you want. You’re broken too!”
She nods, her lips bloodless. “I am. But I don’t pretend to be anything I’m not. You made a choice. So either honor that choice or don’t, but don’t stand there and judge me for doing whatever it takes to make things right for those women. And don’t you dare pretend you didn’t know exactly what you were signing up for when we agreed to this deal.”
“He’s a good ruler, Sarissa. He does good things here. You don’t care that he’ll lose his throne and this place might end up in a civil war?”
“I was a good person too, once. Those women who had their lives taken from them are good people. Being a good person means nothing in this universe. If you can’t play your part in this, let me know, and I’ll do it myself. But don’t fool yourself into thinking your hands won’t be just as dirty as mine.”
We stare at each other in silence, and I blink back tears.
When we were kids, we saw each other intermittently. Our moms were constantly fighting, and it could be years before they made up from their last fight and had a big dramatic reunion scene. Then we’d be sleeping over at each other’s houses every weekend for months, until the next fight occurred.
We swore that would never happen to us. But I don’t know if I can ever recover from this.
Because as tempting as it is to blame my cousin for this, it’s not her fault. All she’s doing is holding up a mirror. I want Arix to love me. I want him to keep his throne. But I also want revenge. And I want the other women to get off this planet and live the lives they want to live. I want everything, but I don’t want the consequences that come along with any of the choices I have to make.
It’s easier to blame Sarissa when she’s the only one strong enough to make the hard choices and deal with those consequences.
The way she’s been doing all her life.
She tilts her head as if reading my mind, and then she turns and stalks away.
Chapter Thirteen
Vivian
I’m in a terrible mood when I arrive back in my rooms, finding Arix lounging on my bed.
“Don’t you have things to do?”
“I do.” His grin makes it clear that I’m one of the things he has to do.
I slump down beside him, my head hitting the soft blankets with a thump. He leans over me and gently rubs his lips against mine.
“I know what happened at the market today.”
I break out in a cold sweat. “I can explain.”
He grins. “Explain how you bought a painting of me? You don’t need a painting, lovely. You have the real thing.”
My heart almost breaks at his words, and my face must fall, because he frowns. “What’s wrong?” He takes my hands, and his frown deepens. “You’re cold as ice.”
I force out a laugh, ignoring the question. “I couldn’t help myself. The painting captured you perfectly. You looked like you were contemplating doing something you knew was wicked but you’d definitely enjoy the process.”
He smiles and leans closer, murmuring into my ear, “If I remember correctly, the last time I allowed someone to draw me was the day I met you.”
I shiver, and my eyes widen as he moves away. I wish I could paint so I could capture the way he looks right now.
His eyes are as dark and mysterious as midnight. But the warmth in my chest when he looks at me is as bright as dawn and just as hopeful.
Sorrow makes my hands shake, and his eyes narrow on me.
“I know what will make you feel better.”
I glance at his lips, my nipples hardening. He laughs.
“Not that, my wicked female. Come with me.”
He gets to his feet, and I frown, following him out of the room, down the hall, and out a back entrance of the castle. Guards trail at a distance, but he waves away any advisers that approach, leaving Rachiv staring after us.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“This is where I come to relax.”
I watch as he picks up a crossbow, loading it with an arrow and handing it to me.
He gestures at the target in the distance. “It will make you feel better. I promise.”
I shrug and aim, the arrow hitting the target with a thack.
Arix stares at me, more surprise than I’ve ever seen on his face.
“My guards mentioned you won a game at the marketplace, but this…” He turns and walks closer to the target, which must be twenty feet away. He studies it and then walks back to me, pointing
