“I’ve missed you,” he whispered against her throat as he kissed there next and let his hands slide down to her hips.
She couldn’t help the small moan that escaped her lips. Bringing herself to return the sentiment was too difficult, so she kissed the spot below his ear instead. Words and feelings were hard for her because they were weighted down by the fear of another impending loss in her life. So she showed him how she felt with kisses and soft touches.
His hand slid under her hoodie to cup her breast, and Wren pushed her hips down against his, feeling his desire through her jeans quite distinctly. She slid her hand between them to grasp him through his pants.
“Wren,” he gasped quietly. Then he grabbed her hand as if to stop her. “Wren, wait. I don’t have anything with me.”
“Anything?”
“No.”
“What do you mean?”
He kissed the tip of her nose, “Protection.”
She felt deflated like a balloon being pierced by a needle.
“Sorry. I wasn’t exactly planning on this to happen.”
As if no longer in control of his own body, Elijah pressed upward against her, and she nearly swooned. Then he kept doing it. Wren pushed down into that contact between them, and he began kissing her again.
“We’ll just be careful,” she said.
“What if I can’t? What if I lose control?” he asked as if in pain.
“You won’t,” she babbled nonsensically.
“I don’t want to get you pregnant,” he said against her ear as his hand flattened on her back to press her down onto him more tightly.
“You won’t,” she promised, which made no sense.
As most bad decisions went, they both agreed on going forward with their plan of unprotected sex, both promising things they couldn’t possibly know or control. However, Elijah held good on his end of the bargain and was able to prevent her from getting pregnant by controlling his urge to release in an untimely manner. She was too high on her own feelings to provide any praise for his self-control. She’d never felt anything like this before. She also knew why girls got themselves into trouble with high school boys. Even though they were both over eighteen, Wren felt like a giddy school girl. She hadn’t felt youthful and free-spirited in a long time, not since before her parents’ deaths.
In the afterglow, he held her, and she felt both protected and foolish at the same time. The entire reason they were on this mission was probably because Avery and Tristan had done the same thing. She was knocked up and in a bad position now. Wren didn’t want to end up like that.
She wasn’t stupid. She knew how babies were made. Getting involved with a guy had been out of the question. Answering questions about her past, dating, having Jamie looming over her head, none of it helped find a boyfriend, let alone even a friend. But Jamie was gone now. She had to make all of her own decisions for herself. She highly doubted he’d be very proud of her right now. As a matter of fact, he’d kill her. Then he’d insist they move to somewhere obscure like Alberta, Canada, or Sussex County, Ireland. Anywhere far enough away so that she’d never see Elijah again.
Elijah was just different. She’d been instantly attracted to him, but Wren had never even allowed herself to consider having a boyfriend. Jamie had forbidden it for all of the obvious reasons, her safety being number one on the priority list. Also, she never thought in a million years that Mr. Golden Boy would’ve been attracted to her. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe it was just because she was the only girl his age around that was available. Jane was with, or sort of with, Roman. She knew Elijah wasn’t attracted to Stephanie because she’d seen him give her strange and blatantly annoyed looks. They weren’t as bad as Alex’s looks, but she could tell he didn’t like her, not in that way.
Having unprotected, albeit somewhat safe sex, was a risk, even if he was careful. All it took was one tiny sperm to get through.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against her hair and squeezed her a bit tighter. “G’night, babe.”
Yes, that’s why she was in over her head. Things like that. Elijah things. Kindness, compliments, flirting, being stupid adorable all the time. She was in deep and didn’t know how to get back out.
She pretended she didn’t hear him and hoped he’d fall asleep, which he did.
Wren startled awake from a nightmare, still wrapped in his arms after they’d both redressed, of course. She dreamed she was giving birth, and the baby was a night crawler. She woke in a sweat and clinging to the irrational panic that only a nightmare could bring. Then, like a crack addict, she scooted closer to Elijah, seeking warmth and solace from the one person who could cause that nightmare to come true.
Chapter Thirty-two
Avery
She was pacing back and forth while biting her nails, which she didn’t even do. Every little noise, including the house’s normal sounds, caused her to jump. The furnace coming on, a loose log shifting on the fireplace, the windows popping from expansion and shrinking from the cold outside.
Last night, Tristan had not come home. Spencer had gone back out to look for him with Benjamin Miller and Abraham. They also took Renee and called Gyles for help, too. She’d wanted to go, but they’d insisted she stay at the house in case he turned up. Her heart had skipped beats so many times she thought she might need a defibrillator to get it back into the right rhythm again.
Finally, they’d shown up with him about an hour after leaving. He was knocked out cold. Nobody knew what had happened to him, and he was still out as the sun was rising over the horizon.
Spencer was resting on the
