Cole and I faced each other, and he lightly placed his hand on my stomach as Jackson moved over to the monitors. “Looking good. Pete’s gonna take over from here.”
The set photographer waved at the mention of his name. “Stella tilt your face up to the light, and, Cole, cheat out a bit,” Pete instructed. “Nice.”
We followed his directions as he clicked away. “Brings back memories, doesn’t it?” Cole whispered.
“She would have been twelve now,” I murmured.
“If it were a she,” he returned.
Tears welled in my eyes. “She would have been,” I said. I’d felt it from the beginning, that I was carrying a girl. But the day I went in for the blood test was the day we found out she’d left us, taking with her what was left of our shell of a marriage and leaving me crushed. I often wondered how differently things might have turned out if she’d stayed. Who she would have become, who I would have become. But dwelling on what might have been only drove me to drink, and evidently throw pickle jars at unsuspecting passersby.
“She would have been beautiful,” he said, running his fingertips over my cheek. “Just like her mama.”
Cole really could be sweet when he wanted to. These past few days I’d begun to remember what it was about him I had loved. And the chemistry. God, the chemistry. I couldn’t believe I was still attracted to him after all that had happened between us, but my body seemed to have a mind of its own.
“Let’s do a few kissing,” Pete instructed.
Cole pulled me closer and covered my mouth with his. My head grew light with the smell of his aftershave, the roughness of his persistent stubble, the taste of his lips; the familiarity was dizzying, as though I’d stumbled into a time warp.
“Okay, we’re good,” Pete said, checking his camera.
Cole brushed my cheek again with his fingers and let his gaze travel once more to my lips before he turned his attention to his buzzing phone.
Flushed, I grabbed the bottle of water I’d stored behind a chair and gulped it.
“Everybody take twenty,” Price called out. “AC break before we roll.”
Film really was a lot of hurry up and wait. But I was glad to step away from the swell of emotion that threatened to breach the levees when I was in Cole’s arms, and beelined for the door.
Outside, I found Felicity at a table under the giant pop-up tent in the parking lot, laughing with Kara. “What’s so funny?” I asked, sliding into the seat beside them.
“Show her,” Felicity said.
The image on Kara’s phone was of a girl that strongly resembled…me. I squinted at it and looked at Kara quizzically.
“She’s your doppelgänger!” Felicity exclaimed.
“Who is she?” I asked.
Kara flipped to the next picture, which showed her and the girl kissing. “My ex.”
“Well, she’s very pretty,” I said. “If I do say so myself.”
“Yeah.” Kara gazed at the picture wistfully.
“What happened?” Felicity asked.
“She’s an actress,” Kara said, as if that explained it.
“And?” I asked.
“She fell in love with her next costar, naturally.” Kara laughed.
“Then she wasn’t worth your time,” I said. “Anyway, not all actresses are assholes.”
She brushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled enigmatically. “So I hear.”
Felicity abruptly stood and beckoned to me. “I wanna shoot you while you’re in this makeup. For your Insta. Grab your phone. I know just the spot.”
She led me around the corner to the side of the warehouse that had a view of the sea. “I’m sorry about earlier,” she said when we were out of earshot of the others. “It was out of line for me to discuss your character with Jackson. I wasn’t thinking.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
Her big brown eyes were full of tears. “I’ve never been on a set before. This is all new to me,” she explained, her voice shaking. “Please believe me, I never want to do anything that would hurt you.”
I felt bad then; I’d obviously hurt her feelings more than necessary. “It’s okay,” I said. “Really. I understand. It’s not your fault Jackson worships the ground you walk on.”
“You think?” She wiped her eyes and looked at me sideways. “I don’t see it.”
“Riiiiight. I give it a week before you’re knockin’ boots.” I wiggled my hips.
“That’s not happening.” She laughed, starting down the grassy hill. “Come here.” She gestured to a large shade tree with a swing hanging from it. I dutifully handed her my phone and sat in the swing facing the sea. “No. Face the other way so I get the ocean behind you.”
I adjusted my position and smiled. “No smile,” she said. “And look wistful. You don’t know I’m here.”
I gazed over her shoulder toward where Madison sat on the edge of my loading dock with her computer in her lap, so wrapped up in whatever she was doing that she didn’t even see us, thank heavens. I recited my gratitude prayer in my head, feeling the ocean breeze lift my hair from my shoulders as Felicity snapped pictures. This whole sharing culture was beyond counterintuitive to me. But I knew she was right: if I wanted the world to see a new me, I had to show them a new me. And she was actually a pretty good photographer, though I always made her shoot with my phone so that I could edit the photos. The whole unedited photos trend was another I simply could not understand. Why would anyone want to expose their flaws when it is so easy to simply delete them with the click of a button? Photoshop was like makeup, but for pictures. And I, for one, was grateful for it.
“What’s this?” I heard the mockery in Cole’s voice before I spun to see him striding up from the rocky
