Sophie served a few more tables while making idle chit chat before making her way back to Emily’s with her food and a coffee carafe.
“Do you need anything else?”
Sophie didn’t expect her to. She had been waiting on Emily almost every day since she got back. Emily always got a small snack during her break. Sometimes Mel would come in and eat with her, but Fridays she was generally alone.
“Nope. All set. Look, Soph. I know that we used to be friends when we were young, but I have to admit, I was jealous of you. You got good grades, always went to church and my parents idolized you and Annie. I can see why Brooke rebelled! But, that wasn’t you’re fault. I just want to let you know that I’m here for you now. I can see how upset you are. You’re making yourself sick! Just slow down, take a break! Maybe just don’t work for a week and get yourself back on track. You can’t stay this way forever.”
As true as that was, she didn’t know what she could do. It was all just too much to handle. And she didn’t think she could tell anyone, especially Emily. She tended to gossip and right now, Sophie needed her secrets to stay a secret.
She just wished that she could tell Annie. It’d be nice to get this off her chest, even if her sister couldn’t do anything about it.
“Do you promise not to tell anyone?”
Emily sighed, placing her fork on the plate with the untouched pie. “I know that I messed up with Mel’s secret. I shouldn’t have told anyone about her reaction to silver. If I had kept it to myself, Tim wouldn’t have known about Mel being…you know. I know. It’s my fault and her almost death, along with yours will always haunt me. That was one of the things I had to deal with while I was away. It is one of the reasons that I didn’t go after Nate. I promise that I won’t say anything about what you tell me. No one will ever know! Is it about that car stuff the other day? I heard about that. Sucks. Tell me everything!”
Sophie could see the haunted, yet excited look in her eyes. She knew that Emily still worried about the things that went on a year ago. But the shooting and whole Tim problem wasn’t her fault. Even though the town believed it was, Sophie couldn’t.
Cay, Seth and Mel came in the diner regularly to have breakfast. They seemed so in love that it tore out Sophie’s heart. She wouldn’t ever have that love again.
Sure, she would have other relationships. She would probably fall in love with someone else and life would go on but it wouldn’t be that all-consuming love that she had felt for the guys. It wouldn’t be the kind of love that she would dream of every night. The kind that could be in a kinky fairy tale. It wouldn’t be perfect in its imperfection.
No guy could match the bad boy look of Adrian. No one could be able to get her as mad, or give her such a violently lustful reaction. He knew how to push her buttons and even though he crossed the line, he made her want to go over it with him. He made her feel beautiful, even though she wasn’t society’s idea of beauty. He showed her that no matter what her parents said, she was attractive just the way she was. He taught her how to want, how to pleasure, and how to laugh again, even if it was silent.
And no one was as masculine as Thanatos, with his hard muscles and his silence. But under all that, he was sweet and he cared. He would do anything to save just one person. He touched her and cuddled her, he made her feel special. He was the one that showed her that it was alright to love the person she was inside. It showed her that she was worthy, that she needed to take time to be herself. He made her feel like a person again, instead of an automaton just surviving.
She knew now that she didn’t need them. She didn’t need what they gave her. She could be happy without it, after some time. But, she wanted it with her whole being.
It didn’t matter, though. She didn’t have a way to get a hold of them, and even if she did, she didn’t expect anything out of it. They explained what they wanted. And she needed something else now.
“Don’t just stand there! Tell me already.” Emily exclaimed, clearly exasperated.
Just tell her. She’ll know eventually. It wasn’t like she could keep it a secret forever.
Soph ran her hands through her loose hair before sliding it down the blue and white cotton dress-like uniform nervously. She felt her hands shaking, and she really didn’t know if she should or not, but she had to tell someone! And it couldn’t be her parents!
“I’m pregnant.”
“WHAT!” Emily cried, her pie seemly forgotten as she stared in shock. Her eyes were wide and her mouth open. Sophie was tempted to tell her what her Abuela would have said. Are you collecting flies? Shut that mouth! But she didn’t.
“You’re what?” she asked again, and this time Sophie looked around, relieved to see that no one else cared. They were all busy eating and didn’t need her attention at the moment.
“Keep quiet. I don’t want anyone to know. Remember? Yes, I’m pregnant. Yes it was from my relationship, and yes
